Mar 05

And they told me I wouldn't look good with a mustache. HA!Click for full image

NIPPLES? What’s this obsession with nipples going around at the moment? Well by heck, we will give them so many nipples it will burn their retinas. And semi-naked muscle clad men killing some sort of beast! Now if you thought that wasn’t manly enough, we’ll give them all tashes!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)

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27 Responses to “The Unforsaken Hero”

  1. SI Says:

    This is by far the strangest p0rn movie I have ever seen.

  2. Simon Says:

    Was the artist trying to do foreshortening or is that man an alien?

  3. CSA Says:

    Yeah, he really doesnt look right. Atleast he didnt ball up some socks and shove them down his loin cloth.

    He looks like the result of some genetic breeding between Hitler and Tom Selleck

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘THE LONG AWAITED SEQUEL TO…’ Well, I suppose there wasn’t enough room to fit in ‘THE FRANKLY-NOT-LONG-AWAITED-ENOUGH SEQUEL TO …’

  5. SI Says:

    Not as long waited as the sequel to the unforsaken hero. It’s just never going to be released.


  6. James Lovegrove Says:

    I couldn’t help thinking Sterling A. Lanier must be pseudonym, possibly an anagram of the author’s true name. And it is, if the author’s true name happens to be Anal Gristle Rein.

  7. Simon Says:

    I can tell you’re especially pleased with that one James.

  8. Zardoz Says:

    Hey! Hiero stole my look!

  9. SI Says:

    James > Very good. But its Sterling E Lanier.


  10. James Lovegrove Says:

    Aargh! Actually I meant Lingerie Rentals. That’s his real name. He’s an underwear hire agency. Specialising in leather loincloths.

  11. CSA Says:

    Ah well it all finally makes sense now. That certainly explains why Zardoz is here aswell.

  12. SI Says:

    It’s good that Mr & Mrs Rentals knew what their child would want to be when he was older.

    Would have been awkward if he wanted to be… well anything else.

  13. Yoyogod Says:

    I was browsing through your archives and when I saw this I felt the need to say 2 things.

    1) Hiero’s Journey is actually a pretty good book, though I haven’t read the sequel yet.

    2) As hideous as this is, it’s nowhere near as bad as the cover on my copy, which is done by Darrelll K. Sweet, who in apparently can’t paint human beings without their looing like some malnourished, inbred hillbillies who were raised on nuclear testing sites. It also has a giant slug-monster and lots of bones.

  14. CSA Says:

    wow that looks so surreal. epic find, and perfect description of that cover.

  15. stevetalbert Says:

    They are all clones!!!!!!

    God, I need to read this book

  16. AG Says:

    All I can think of is: It’s got the body of a welterweight amateur bodybuilding contestant with the head of a junior high school biology teacher. Someone’s got an interesting fantasy life.

  17. John T Says:

    …Gomez Addams? Gomez Addams in a loincloth?

  18. Sorcha Says:

    Unforsaken…except by his tailor, who skived off a couple of years ago. The poor hero’s been wearing the same clothes so long that they’ve all fallen to shreds except for his belt and the waist-and-crotch part of his trousers.

  19. FearearofMusic Says:

    Poor fellow. What a tragic fate, to be unforsaken. What a burden, being accepted, supported, appreciated. It must be a living hell, being a popular Hiero.

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Cor…I’m ankle deep in blood again.’

    ‘Proportional issues’ tag?

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “I am Spartacus!”
    “No, I am Spartacus!”
    “I am Spartacus, and so is my wife!”
    “You’re all liars! I am Spartacus!”

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Friends of Dick Blade?

    Definitely “proportional issues” and something re: anatomy.

  23. RachelJ Says:

    Do you suppose he hangs out with The Unteleported Man?

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Are they both in the “unrivalled class”?

  25. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS ex-noob. Yes! Along with their mathematically challenged friend.

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    And their makeshift god pal.

  27. Calyx Says:

    “This the way to Manly beach?”

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