Apr 22

Look at my magical naked women! Her hand turns into my cape!Click for full image

Harry Comments: According to the author, this cover was commissioned for another book but somehow ended up on hers. It’s very loosely appropriate: there is a sword, and there is a hero, but he is quite explicitly gay.

Superb! Thanks Harry!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “The Door Into Fire”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    Ah, one-armed stump-handed woman! Come out of my dreams and into my life!

  2. Simon Says:

    That is FANTASTIC. End of. I’m in love.

  3. Liz Says:

    Holy smokes – is that real? Her arm is very very very long indeed.

    Also, I totally get this cover. It’s simply, the best, ever.

  4. SI Says:

    What kinda scares me about this one is, when I was young I had a friend with some strange parents. They used to have the strangest art around the house, this kinda reminds me of one they had in their hallway.

    Simon> When is your birthday? haha We’ll get this in poster form to put in yer bedroom! 😉

  5. Simon Says:

    You were friends with one of Saddam Hussein’s children?

  6. CSA Says:

    Synopsis: but what if He-man actually was Skeletor????

  7. James Lovegrove Says:

    We know where her right stump is. But where’s the left one gone? The man’s grimacing expression might provide a clue.

  8. SI Says:

    Simon> Touche! But it really was that type of scary stuff! Lots of ass cracks and leather. *shudders* I am glad they moved away.

    James> Sorry to spoil your strange fantasies. But her hand can be seen gripping his left thigh. It did make me a little sad to notice though.

  9. CSA Says:

    ah, but where is her third arm, wink-wink nudge-nudge if you know what i mean?

  10. SI Says:

    No CSA… I’m not sure what you mean. Could you clarify?

  11. Adam Roberts Says:

    I feel moved to try and top Lovegrove’s grossness by asking: what is making his cloak billow so dramatically away from his backparts? Is it related to that noxious cloud of green gas?

  12. Adam Roberts Says:

    Also, I agree with everybody else. This cover is awesome. Good show sir!

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    So, in the future women will wear invisible clothing (but not the men).

    Imagine the book covers if it were the other way around…

  14. SI Says:

    Exactly ARYngve! I guess showing a side testicle just isn’t the same as boobs.

  15. James Lovegrove Says:

    >SI: You’re right. I thought that was just some hideous goitre-like growth on his thigh. But have you noticed, her right arm is disproportionately long, almost as if it can extrude bendily like Mr Fantastic’s. Meaning her left elbow could still be doing something else. I know, I know, bit of a “stretch”, ha ha, but allow an old man his fantasies.

  16. Tom Says:

    Artist’s thoughts:

    “If only there were a way I could combine my love of Boris Vallejo’s style, Michael Moorcock’s imagery, and the pole dancers at the club where I blow my paychecks.”

  17. Branch42 Says:

    Let’s see, The tight bodied blond has her left arm threaded through his grion, the other on his chest and into his clothes. She is naked and golden at his feet…and his eyes are turned…skyward????

    Harry is right, quite explicitly gay

  18. otmar Says:

    Actually, I’ve read that book close to 20 years ago.

    From what I remember it was a pretty good fantasy novel.

  19. collectible medieval weapons Says:

    It’s actually a good fantasy book. but what if He-man actually was Skeletor????- This is really hilarious.

  20. CSA Says:

    Does anyone know who the artist is?

    I’ve ruled out Geoff Taylor and Susan S. Collins who illustrated different editions.

  21. Traveler Says:

    Isn’t there a 80’s metal album around with a strikingly similar cover?
    Anyway: 11 out of 10 points for cheesy fantasy erotica!

  22. tps Says:

    I’ve seen that before — on the cover of a heavy metal album from 1985 (Canadian band called Exciter, “Long Live the Loud”). Just checked my copy: the artist is listed as Alan Craddock.

  23. CSA Says:

    Wow good find guys!

    google “Alan Craddock” and “door into fire” together returns only 8 hits! But it seems legit all the same. woohoo, tag added.

    Does 80s metal have any more excuse for awful covers than 80s fantasy books? I say no.

  24. Garrett Fitzgerald Says:

    Actually, Herewiss is explicitly bisexual, not gay. Just to be picky. 🙂

  25. Tormund Giantsbane Says:

    ROCK. VAN. Must be airbrushed on someone’s ’70s Econoline.

  26. Phil Says:

    I found my way here thanks to the newly resurrected LENS FLARE tag. But isn’t that really a TING! ? Or maybe it’s both.

  27. A.R.Yngve Says:

    If I saw some teenager reading a book with this cover, I’d spontaneously cry like He-Man transforming: “I BOUGHT THIS BOOK FOR THE COVERRRR!!”

  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘A bat is trying to swallow my head! Quickly, wench, toss up your magnesium flare, that we might dazzle it into submission!’

  29. Perry Armstrong Says:

    “What he sought lay beyond Human reach –
    but there were Others ready to help him.”

    … so this guy obviously has an inaccessible itch on the side of his neck (excessively muscular arms aren’t good for bending), requiring the assistance of a long-armed beauty to give him a jolly good scratch. I imagine he’s saying “Oh yeah, that’s the spot!”

  30. Ray P Says:

    The woman doesn’t appear to be lamenting much.

  31. anon Says:

    Isn’t this a Duran Duran song?

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