May 19

phhhoarrr Moses had some incredible thighs!Click for full image

Well after CSA’s comments yesterday with Mr Ellison I noted he said this, “We should post a pic of the Bible tomorrow and see if Jesus posts within 24hours.”

I decided to take him up on that suggestion with this, sent into me about a year ago. And to Mr Ellison, I sent CSA to bed last night without super and I didn’t even read him his nightly install of Harry Potter verses Terminator. Thanks for commenting!

A real cover will be posted later!

Good Show Sir, Good Sir.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)

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43 Responses to “The Manga Bible – Extreme”

  1. Moses Says:

    That’s a good likeness of me actually.

  2. CSA Says:

    That doesn’t sound anything like Moses.

    I call bull. Moses would be… er… more… um… dead?

    (just incase its the real Moses, please dont smite me)

  3. James Lovegrove Says:

    I always felt the Bible could be improved with a few whizz lines, some wide-eyed girls in school uniform, maybe the odd psychic kid or two, and Sodom and Gomorrah getting stamped on by a giant robotic dinosaur.

  4. SophaLoaf Says:

    @CSA Bull and maybe a golden calf!

  5. Si Says:

    Exactly James. And Jesus being an expert swords man who uses gods HYPER-SPIRIT to charge his awesome fighting powers. And is also a ninja. Which would keep CSA happy, being a big fan of Naruto . I even have pictures to prove it.

  6. SophaLoaf Says:

    Yeah Moses would sound like this:
    אני נראה טוב מאוד, אני לא אכה אותך היום

  7. James Lovegrove Says:

    Twelve disciples? Twelve samurai, more like. And the Book of Revelation would be better off ending with a massive atomic explosion. Oh wait, it already does.

  8. SI Says:

    But in the manga bible, the atomic explosion would create a new world, with people with super powers. And a army of mecha’s would be out to hunt each and every one of them down.

    I maybe thinking about this too much.

  9. DeadRobot Says:

    Jesus, what does the non-extreme, non-deluxe edition look like.

  10. Parker Says:

    @DeadRobot: That’s probably just the King James Version.

    I’m more interested in the, ‘Plus Extras!’ part.

    “Includes the un-read story of Jesus verse Hercules.”

  11. anon Says:

    I see the bible reference but where does the manga come in?

  12. SI Says:

    Anon> Apparently it’s the bible drawn in a manga style. Something to reach us cool kids.

    James> Holy Zeus! You may not have been far off with the twelve samurai comment: 12 Samurai Jesus

  13. Nix Says:

    But in the manga bible, the atomic explosion would create a new world

    I think that’s Norse mythology.

    I’m particularly impressed by the eye-bleeding font. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a worse one that was at all readable. It’s like the horrible 1970s machine-readable font on cheques, only jagged… and, uh, for all its fighting vicious spikiness it seems awfully *pink*.

  14. Brian B Says:

    A graphic novel version of the Bible called “The Picture Bible” when I was a kid. Leaving aside the religious aspect for a moment, knowledge of the Bible is very important to the study of Western culture, history, and literature, so getting more people to read it is fine by me. But the EXTREME EDITION, does make me really wonder what sorts of liberties this edition is taking. I’d love to see Jesus recast as a magical girl! Perhaps with the chibi magical floating head of John the Baptist for a sidekick!

  15. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Re: Comment #5
    To paraphrase the various incarnations of the Dragonball manga/anime, does Jesus Christ, in this version of the Bible, have a power level of over 9,000…?

  16. SI Says:

    Mark> I was about to say that… I thought it might just be that little bit too nerdy. Not that I have ever watched the DBZ but I am aware…..

    If Jesus punched… it might be something like this:

    A punch isn’t a punch unless the after-effects can be seen from an opposite galaxy.

  17. CSA Says:

    Awesome punch, Neo-Jesus has definately leveled up since he died.

    In the pic, i think it looks like Moses is summoning a horde of zombies.

  18. Cthulhu Says:

    Everyone knows Genesis would be greatly improved with tentacle ****ing and ladies dressed like Sailor Moon characters.

  19. Hal Says:

    *blows up picture*

    Oh. Oh, this isn’t a joke. Ohh.

    Where can I buy this?

  20. CSA Says:

    Well, Ellison is officially faster than Jesus. You read it here first. Co-author Moses was in pretty quickly, but the Big J is yet to post about this particular cover of his SF/Fantasy novel.

    Next stop, Battlefield Earth? see how quickly THAT gets attention

  21. Jesus Says:

    For this, I shall punish you all to the UNDERWORLD!

  22. SI Says:

    CSA> Oh good point about the ole Battlefield. Though when that happens and people comment. Lets just assume it actually IS Tom Cruise! 😛

  23. Bookworm Bas Says:

    You are all surely taking the piss ( sorry Aussie idiom means “making fun of”). It’s obviously just a collection of Manga of biblical proportions . Maybe the publishers were trying to broaden the market appeal of Manga into another niche market such as ..(self censored).. who are probably gullible enough to believe that this is a pictoral depiction of the bible for their kids.

  24. Bookworm Bas Says:

    Sorry just read the small print. Hmmm is this meant to make christianity palatable for manga fans? How many in the bible belt know what Manga is?

  25. CSA Says:

    I guiltily admit i own this copy. I havent read it, i swear!

    Its actually a pretty well illustrated comic of about 200 pages but I’m not sure why they call it a manga, since the artist is English. Covers various “stories” in the bible. It certainly wasnt marketed at me, but yet, there it is, sitting on my bookshelf between Jim Butcher and George RR Martin.

    I swear to god there is a mini comic strip of Psalms 18 in it where David is running around with a pair of Uzi submachine guns. And Jesus looks like the lead Samurai from the anime Samurai 7, for any of the geeks out there. No mechas, tentacles, or school girls though :'( , but i’m gussing the Japanese version has all those elements.

  26. David Cowie Says:

    Yeah Moses would sound like this:
    אני נראה טוב מאוד, אני לא אכה אותך היום

    Google language tools renders that as “I look very good, I do not beat you today”
    Looks like machine translation might still have a way to go.

  27. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Re:last comment
    Compared to the English subtitles of some Hong Kong action films, Google language tools, & machine translation in general, might not be as far behind as you think…
    For Example..
    “This will be of fine service to you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods, & leave them on the dessert floor for your aunts to eat…”.
    Or would Goliath say “I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way…”, after David used his Uzi’s on him…
    And as for the King of the Philistine’s posthomus comment to Golaith after Goliath’s demise “Who gave you the nerve to get killed here…?, at least Goliath never heard it…

  28. Parker Says:

    @David Cowie – Oh I do love the ole translater but don’t blame it just yet. That’s actually pretty much what it says. Literally speaking.

  29. Ryan Says:

    Wait.. “extreme deluxe edition“?!?!?

  30. Skater Punk #2 from that Harold and Kumar movie Says:

    Extreme! Extreme cheddar!

  31. Jesus Says:

    …Really? Dude I’ve been gone a long time. My last visit was in 2004, 2001 and 1999, before that, 1984, then 1348, my next is going to be in 2012…yep.

  32. Annexian Says:

    I like R. Crumb’s Underground style adaptation better. Of course he focused, literally, on Genesis including parts the “Good Christians” otherwise skip over. The Nephilhim, Lot and his Daughters, etc.

  33. Revellion Says:

    Do NOT go in there for at least 5 minutes. Where’s my breakfast?

  34. Tat Wood Says:

    I love the promise of ‘Extras’. The old folks call them ‘Apocrypha’.

  35. Bibliomancer Says:

    An Ace editor was once quoted as saying: “If the Bible were printed as an Ace Double the Old Testament would be retitled as “War God of Israel” and the New Testament as “The Thing with Three Souls.”

  36. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    In the manga Bible, Eve is tempted to eat the forbidden fruit with great fighting spirit, for the mighty empire!

    In the manga Bible, Lot’s daughters have tentacles.

    In the manga Bible, Noah builds an ark to hold three giant robots that can combine to form a bigger ark.

    In the manga Bible, each one of the 613 Commandments gets a four-panel comic.

    In the manga Bible, David kills Goliath…but the anime version is slightly different and the fans get all in a lather about which one is canonical.

    In the manga Bible, David meets Bathsheba in a wacky accident when he falls into the bath with her. Each of his other wives is insanely jealous until they open up about their feelings.

    In the manga Bible, Ecclesiastes gets about 10 pages, while Song of Solomon is lavishly illustrated over three volumes.

    In the manga Bible, ‘Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin’ is rendered as ‘Mini Mini Tekuru Ufaahshin’ and translated as ‘Quietly Now, the Fist Rises to Real Space’.

    In the manga Bible, Jesus turns water into wine. But in the American version, it’s changed to root beer.

    In the manga Bible, Judas kisses Jesus in the garden. They both get sparkly and flowers pop up behind them.

    In the manga Bible, Chibi-Chibi Muhammad-chan (PBUH) keeps popping up to reveal what actually happened.

  37. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Does the Crucifixion really need to get more extreme than the original edition?
    (Mel Gibson would of course have answered “Hell yeah!”)

  38. GSS noob Says:

    Makes my “Children’s Illustrated Bible” look pretty dull.

    @DSWBT: your descriptions are perfect.

  39. DaveM Says:

    @DSWBT: Whoo, I bet David and Jonathan end up as a 4 volume Yaoi arc all by themselves (at least)!

    And while I’m not sure how long the Ezekiel arc would last, I’m sure it WOULD have huge Mecha (how could it not?) 🙂

    Would the Loaves and Fishes section involve Jesus taking the ingredients out of a sack/backpack only to have another character lampshade how he managed to store so much in the first place, allowing Jesus to quip it’s all about how you pack it? Hmm, Lampshade, leaning on the fourth wall, yeah seems to fit. 🙂

  40. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I wanna see the Ezekiel mecha. Lots o’wheels, natch.

    So Jesus’ loaf and fish sack connects to hammerspace! Chibi Mohammed-chan (PBUH) can explain that too.

  41. Tom Noir Says:

    Does anyone know where I can get the non-extreme edition of the Manga Bible?

  42. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tom, there’s always

  43. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Fishes and loaves flying through the air, decapitating King Herod’s ninjas…

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