Apr 13

Stop showing that space nun your cleavage and get up here and fight!!Click for full image

Jeremy’s Art Direction: We need the most evil guy ever. Ever! And the goofiest looking assassin you can muster!
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “Walpurgis III”

  1. Graff Says:

    Is that… is that Gary Glitter?

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    The Universe’s Most Evil Being deserves the Universe’s Most Evil Lollipop.

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The blurb copy suggests that hiring ultimate assassins is expensive (unsurprisingly)…

    But it omits the assassin’s actual kill fee — mentioned in the text of the novel — which in my humble opinion would’ve made for an even better blurb:

    When the Universe’s most evil being becomes the target of the ultimate assassin, will an entire planet pay the price of 100,000 gazillion space-dollars?

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    When the Universe’s most evil being becomes the target of the ultimate assassin, will an entire planet pay if… THE PRICE IS RIGHT!

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    You can tell he’s pretty evil because of his pointy hair.

  6. Jessie Says:

    Is that Lwaxana Troi in the lower right?

  7. fred Says:

    Random “Spock Eyebrow” sighting.

  8. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Hey, it’s Daimon Hellstrom, Son of Satan! (Why yes, I read cheeseball comics in my youth)

    Also … his Staff of Evil is oddly jaunty. The tips of the pentacle curl a bit, and it puts one in mind of that starfish friend of Spongebob Squarepants getting ready to turn a cartwheel.

  9. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned the assassin. Holy crap, where to even start.

  10. Smith Says:

    Yes, cos that’s something assassins are known for – big hats and flamboyant capes.

    He’s like the Anti-Ninja.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    For a moment, I thought the author of my physics textbook churned out fiction as well.

  12. Jaouad Says:

    Although Lwaxana the Raven-haired Ventriloquist did her utmost to keep her lips from moving as she put the Priest puppet through his routine, the looming figure of Most Evil Casting Director Ever scowling down at her had a devastating effect on her performance. And if only the guy hired to play the Klansman would stop practicing with his toy rifle!

  13. Lilah Says:

    I think the evil guy’s kind of hot, pointy hair and all.

    There is a review of this book here. Apparently, it’s just as silly as it looks.

  14. Seth Christenfeld Says:

    Will I be okay if I skipped over Walpurgis I and II?

  15. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    @Lilah: Thanks for the review link…

    Oh, lord, Planet of the Satanists? Is that why Lwaxana Troi is done up like an 18th century lady getting her portrait painted as the goddess Diana?

  16. doug Says:

    I owned this book long ago. It was disturbing, and I’m not talking about the cover art.

  17. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    It’s funny how the shape of the assassin’s gun matches his shark’s-fin-helmet. I think his gauntlets are shark-fin-shaped as well.

  18. Tom Noir Says:

    No one escapes from… THE POPE ASSASSIN.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The return of THE BISHOP:

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