May 17

In other worlds, going to visit Santa at christmas just isn't the same...Click for full image

The Tim’s Art Direction:Give me a dude in front of a pyramid with some spikey armor. No, more spikes. More. Still not enough spikes. More spikes! More!
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.49 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “The Fall of Hyperion”

  1. vampy-ra Says:

    No, no, no. This is in fact quite accurate.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    “Could you help me? I’m stuck to the wall.”

  3. Ewan Says:

    If anything, not nearly enough spikes on the Shrike. And he’s short two arms.

  4. James Says:


  5. Phil Says:

    Plot summary of THE FALL OF HYPERION:

    Look out, little baby Hyperion is falling! Aaaaaaaaah – oh, caught him. What are you looking at, Spiky? You didn’t do a thing to help.

  6. Jaouad Says:

    @Ewan: I would agree there. Still not enough spikes. That thing is supposed to be the Spiky Monster out of Time. This just looks like a man-in-a-suit. I read this same edition, and it’s always bothered me.

    Is the old guy going to throw his baby at his enemy and hope it sticks?

  7. FeàrofMüsic Says:

    Wait…that’s a baby the man is holding? I thought it was some kind of weirdly shaped alien with one giant yellow eye.

  8. The Tag Wizard Says:

    “They glued … my butt … to the wall” he croaked, as the front-runner in this year’s 4x400m baby-holding relay race sprinted past.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    There was once a Mrs Spike. They’re sex life was terrible. She was a sharp-tongued woman who would keep needling him about it. Her barbs really stuck with him. He got the point. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to nail her. There was something wrong with his prick.

  10. Adam Roberts Says:

    I think your green-screen SFX technology has failed to matt in your usual background, ‘Scuzzy Second-hand Bookshop Locale’.

  11. Tom Hering Says:

    Head on over here for some extra fun today:

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    In the Spring of Hyperion, he grows the leaves back.

  13. Corey Says:

    Yeah this pretty much exactly captures a scene out of the book (except as mentioned: needs more spikes/arms). All three sequels are likewise appropriately illustrated, it’s kind of uncanny.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer 9—I keep looking for the one bad pun not already included in your tour de force post, but can’t seem to find one. You’ve really pinned him to the wall.

  15. Rags Says:

    That guy is not going to win father of the year, i can tell you that!

    What is with Mr Spikeys dainty, frail hands??

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “Hey buddy, my baby is thirsty, can you juice some carrots for me?”

  17. FeàrofMüsic Says:

    “Baby for sale! Fresh hot baby for sale! Hey there,uh…mister? You look like a gourmand (quiet kid!). Tasty fresh baby! Tender and juicy! You won’t find any finer in these parts. Here, take a look. Looks yummy, yeah? “

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Go ahead, all of you, make fun of me. In a few years I will be a fully formed Face Tree at the height of my powers, whatever they are.

  19. fred Says:

    With the wind I can’t tell if he is attempting a bald spot hiding comb over or not.

  20. Phil Says:

    @fred: well, he’s already qualified for the BALDNESS tag I see. But he snuck under the Tag Wizard’s radar with his BEARD-WIELDING.

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    Spiky Guy is clearly Mr Lordi, of Finnish Eurovision fame. The baby’s got some lungs on him, though; one yell has blown away dad’s wig and is making his cape billow.

    Dad and Lordi seem to be casting shadows in opposite directions, somehow.

  22. Rachel J Says:

    Er… to whom does the “hunk” tag refer? The old geezer? Spikey? The baby?

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RachelJ: the hunk of rock in the background?

  24. The Tag Wizard Says:

    @Rachel & Dead Stuff. This was an admin tag. The Tim’s hand? GSS Admin’s reflection in the monitor as he prepped the post? >:D

    @Phil, I confess to having assumed that Cloaky was a mere wearer rather than wielder of the beard. But should he be carrying it as a weapon.. well, that threatens to changes the constitution of the whole image.

    @Tat Wood. Perhaps the light source is the baby.

  25. Stevie T Says:

    I just can’t shake the feeling that this picture is a prequel to this:

  26. Stevie T Says:

    By the way, is it just me, or are there a bunch of sand-induced tings! here? And one on Mr. Spiky’s shoulder?

  27. Jeff Vader Says:

    Focusing on the baby I can’t shake the notion that it is singing “ride of the valkyries” at the the top of it’s lungs.

  28. Scott B Says:

    I always wondered why the tag for children was “evil children”. Seemed a tad judgmental. But if we have an infant that’s glowing and bellowing Wagner, then yeah, EVIL.

  29. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Dan Simmons wrote an early ending which he later changed:

    “The Shrike writhed helplessly in the yellow avalanche of Post-It notes, and was defeated. THE END.”

  30. Neal Says:

    In the context of the novel this is a good cover. If anything the Shrike is not imposing enough.

  31. The Tag Wizard Says:

    This is true, Neal, as is so often the way with the odd world of sci-fi book covers.

    You have some pretty awesome covers (and an infinislicker website) yourself! Nice work!

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