Jun 11

And so, the children avoided being eaten by a dragon... through magical interpretive dance!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Gym class will never be the same again!
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.48 out of 10)

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35 Responses to “The Dragon Guard: The Magickers #3”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Idris grew too big for Ivor… He’s devoured Jones the Steam and Dai Station… Now he’s coming for YOU!

  2. FeàröfMusic Says:

    Is it just my maldjusted ( and possibly damaged) mind, or does that girl have a, uh, ‘inappropriate’ bulge in her shorts?

    And what is a magicker? Anything like a magician? Or is tbat an adjective to describe a state of ‘more than magic’?

    Last question. Is there a dragon in the story, or it just on the cover because of the author’s name?

    So many questions today. I am curious oranj.

  3. FeařofMusic Says:

    Oh wait, the title is NOT “Thu Pragon.Guand.” Siily of me, ignore part three of the above.

  4. DaveM Says:

    “Quick, while we distract him by playing magical basketball, you sneak up and punch him in the foot”

    @FeàröfMusic, I really wish you hadn’t pointed out the “bulge” issue. Now I’m going to have to drink until I suffer memory loss, and that’s going to make it hard to get up for work tomorrow :-)..

  5. Phil Says:

    Magicker is another name for magickian.

    What about the much-neglected BEHIND YOU! tag? A whole generation fought and died in two world wars for that tag, and now it’s barely even remembered.

    I reckon those kids were originally just making shadows of rabbits on the wall, but somebody has Photoshopped in a dragon.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Bottom left: ‘Ah, I can’t vault over the logs, there’s a bloody dragon in the way.’

    Isn’t the dragon going to rip up his lips with teeth digging into them like that?

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    I think if soccer involved more dragons it would finally get Americans interested in it.

  8. SI Says:

    That moment when you miss an epic high five… and try to recover it… unsuccessfully…

  9. SI Says:

    Ok! Every pair up with their dancing partner. Jenny and Dean, you’re together. Samuel, why don’t you pair up with GROGRETHIAN THE DEVASTATOR…

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    Thank goodness the Dragon Guard is there to protect that poor defenseless dragon!

  11. Herm Says:

    Other than the children being dressed oddly for the typical dragon-related setting, and the rampant font problems detracting from it, this is really nice art. Surprisingly wingless dragon, though…

  12. fred Says:

    If this book was written in 2013 each teen would have his or her face buried in a cell phone texting, oblivious to the approaching doom.

  13. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Texting is so 2003, these days it’s all about viewing GSS on any and all mobile devices in your posessions.

    Good Show Sir: Optimized for Netscape 3.1, accept all cookies without question, we recommend downgrading your browser for the best experience. WAP version coming soon.

  14. FeařofMuşic Says:

    Why do I get the feeling the kid in the background has .Just. Now. Realized…
    ‘Whoa. Dragon.”
    *move very, very, very slowly. he is after your friends, in their short pants displaying those tasty drumsticks. if you are lucky he won’t eat Jason’s watch. you know you want it. shhhhh.*

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    Girl to boy: “We don’t have to outrun the dragon. We just have to outrun that kid in the long pants.”

  16. Neal Says:

    Wonder Twin powers…activate!

  17. Jaouad Says:

    Young Ewan McGregor in the foreground: “This is not the T-Rex you are looking for.”
    Girl: “It’s a bloody dragon, you fool. And stop waving your hands.”
    Young Ewan McGregor: “See? The Force is strong with me.”

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Can’t make out the blurb text… does it read
    “Could Jason untangle the arm magic before the dragon ate his gym class?”

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Oh, and apropos nothing: It seems that the NSA surveillance program has decided that the tags, taken together, indicate with 51% possibility that we are all terror suspects.

    If anyone here should suddenly disapp

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    So I’m wondering:
    Why isn’t that enormous “ting” on her hand properly tagged?
    What’s up with the font?
    Is it me, or does that dragon have an unpleasantly smug look about him? Can’t see why. Not much of a dragon, IMHO; don’t even have wings.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @A.R. Yngve—I think the blurb says: “Could Jason find the key to the oarlock before Biff and Buffy got caught?”

    However, they’ve changed the blurb for the current kindle edition to:

    “The Magickers is America’s answer to the Harry Potter series.”

    Oh yes, that’s much more better, Good Show Sir!

  22. Bibliomancer Says:

    For what its worth. The blurb reads:

    “Could Jason find the gateway to safety before the Dark Hand brought ruin upon them all!”

    … and yes, grammarians, that is a bang, not a query!? (what is the ASCII for the interrobang?!)

  23. Tom Hering Says:

    Dragon guard: a cup or shield, incorporating a rigid asbestos material, worn to protect the genitals from focused streams of flame. Most often found in sports involving adolescent dragons.

  24. hestia Says:

    So glad someone found a use for some of my 80s clothes.

  25. David Cowie Says:

    For Bibliomancer #22:
    ‽ Unicode U+203D INTERROBANG (subject to availability).


  26. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I know it sounds a bit bizarre!
    But interrobang!
    That’s how conditions are!
    The question mark is always on the left side!
    The exclamation’s always on the right!
    In short there’s simply not
    A better use of dots
    Beneath two punctuation marks
    Than there in-ter-ro-bang!

  27. FearofMusiç Says:

    @Dead Stuff With Big Teeth: You don’t happen to find yourself wandering RoyalOak, Michigan by any chance? I have a teenage niece who lives there. She hates the whole Twilight/Romantic vampires notion. She has said to me more than once, “Vampires are not cute. They are not charming or sexy. They are psychopathic walking corpses. The smell like Dead Stuff.”

    Just now occurred to me to wonder how she could possibly know that.

  28. Dead Stuff Without Your Niece Says:


    Well, you know how it is…out to walk the doggie…chat with the neighbours…leave home for work…find yourself in Royal Oak, Michigan & not smelling so fresh…have to back up and start it all over…

  29. Stevie T Says:

    Darn. Neal beat me to it.

    In other news…I’m starting to think we need an “Interpretive Dance” tag.

  30. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Just a warning: if you don’t play Dodge-Magical-Ball by the rules, Coach will eat you.

  31. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Nice! “Interspecies Romance” gives me uncomfortable flashbacks to Mass Effect 3, but “Interpretive Dance” I can live with.

  32. Tom Noir Says:

    Remember kids, baby dragons may look cute, but they grow up to be trouble!

  33. Tom Noir Says:

    I feel that this girl’s sudden discovery of her latent magic abilities may have come a moment too late.

  34. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Mix it up:
    The Dragoners #3

    The Shortpantsers #3

    The Guardickers #3

    The Guardian Readickers #3

  35. Anna T. Says:

    This is CLEARLY a hybrid of two book covers that was whipped up on the fly because the artist was behind schedule. Which explains the dragon’s wings: It got them amputated due to “Artistus Lateus” disease.

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