Dec 06
Click for full imageTom Noir Comments:That key unlocks WHAT now??
Published 1993 or 1996
(Average: 7.98 out of 10)
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Tom Noir Comments:That key unlocks WHAT now??
Published 1993 or 1996
(Average: 7.98 out of 10)Loading...
(10.00 out of 10)
(9.26 out of 10) (9.20 out of 10) (9.02 out of 10) (9.00 out of 10) (8.98 out of 10) (8.95 out of 10) (8.95 out of 10) (8.95 out of 10) (8.94 out of 10)
December 6th, 2013 at 10:06 am
When bling goes bad.
December 6th, 2013 at 11:25 am
that is fugly. with a capitol f.
December 6th, 2013 at 11:39 am
Blinging Bad — S05E07
EXTERIOR – DESERT – NOON
Walter appears wearing enormous space-chastitybelt and dangling a key at loin level.
Declan: Who the hell are you?
Walter White: You all know exactly who I am. Now say my name.
Declan: Er… Anne McCaffrey?
Walter White: I’m the cook. I’m the guy who killed Gus Fring.
Declan: …Elizabeth Moon?
Walter White: Are you sure? Didn’t think so. Now say my name.
Declan: You’re Jody Lynn?
Walter White: You’re god damn rig– wait, who spiked my coffee again? Wake me up! Wake me upppp!
December 6th, 2013 at 12:35 pm
@Tom: That’s the emergency braid release key. In case they get caught in her power armour.
It looks like they put all of the power in her shoulders, and none in her hands!
December 6th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
The Mummers Parade is starting early this year.
http://www.phillymummers.com/
December 6th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
Is she trying to disguise herself simultaneously as a Borg and a chrome DeLorian?
December 6th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
Mech suits with glass helmets should be disregarded immediately.
December 6th, 2013 at 1:50 pm
I am trying to recall just where in the story that turns up… Really now, I have a cover I am sure was featured before that at least shows a scene!
December 6th, 2013 at 2:08 pm
What Liberace’s 1996 Christmas costume would have looked like.
December 6th, 2013 at 2:56 pm
Well, at least the suit doesn’t have a stupid cleavage…
December 6th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
@AR: You really think that’s her helmet at the top, don’t you? 😉
December 6th, 2013 at 3:31 pm
It’s the thing you put on top of your Christmas Tree if you can’t decide between a fairy, an angel or a tinfoil star with twinkly lights.
December 6th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
How am I just now noticing that she has two, erm, ‘phallic devices’ strapped to her legs?
December 6th, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Well, I’m trying to figure out how she straightens those arms. There’s no joint visible at all, and ll that tubing looks pretty rigid.The permanently crooked elbow. New fashion statement, I guess.
December 6th, 2013 at 7:15 pm
Sassinek? 5assnok? What does it say above her face?
December 6th, 2013 at 7:25 pm
@fred — I believe that reads “Sassinak” which is another title in this “Planet Pirate” series. That might be the lady’s name but I don’t care enough to check.
http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/pl.cgi?272055
December 6th, 2013 at 8:08 pm
If that’s her helmet, then I’d like to see her navigate the corridors of her space pirate ship with that metalic plate covering her face.
December 7th, 2013 at 5:48 am
Picture the scene:
*CLANG*
“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!!”
December 8th, 2013 at 5:46 am
Those braids look like they’d greatly interfere with maintaining a proper vacuum seal on that spacesuit.
December 8th, 2013 at 10:49 pm
@Bibliomancer: Goodness, you’re right! This sounds like what Gunpei Yokoi cribbed for Samus Aran’s back story.
December 9th, 2013 at 2:35 am
This armour confuses me. As far as I can tell her chest is still unarmoured (that’s just a shirt, or maybe even a bra that you can see in the gap between the armour), but she’s wearing shoulder plates that would weigh more than she would.
I was pretty sure that most people considered the bit of air six inches above their left shoulder to to be somewhat less valuable than the soft squishy organs inside their chest cavity, but maybe I was mistaken about that. I’m honestly unsure if the stereotypical chainmail bikini would be worse than this, sure it doesn’t provide much protection, but at least it’s light, which this most definitely wouldn’t be. (And at least the chainmail bikini is actually sexy)
December 20th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
@Dead Stuff and Bibliomancer: if you delve further you will find that this is just one entry in a series that began with “Dinosaur Planet”, that being (I think) the young lady’s place of origin.
http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/pe.cgi?3075
You see? Even books that don’t *look* like they have anything to do with space dinosaurs can be deceptive…
December 21st, 2013 at 6:40 am
I actually bought this book some years back. I remember thinking at the time that it was a rather sedate cover–for a Baen. But the longer I looked at it, the more it creeped me out. I was never sure what it was that gave me the creeps; was it the braids? The strange, inexplicable key? The oddly insane look in her eyes? Or is it the unfortunately large and noticeable codpiece on what is obviously HER armor? I don’t know, but this general creepiness has kept me from actually reading the book since I got it….
However, I really liked how the author’s names were arranged on the cover (and I wasn’t being sarcastic there).
December 28th, 2013 at 10:24 am
That’s the key for the chastity device she’s wearing. One might say it’s a tad over-engineered, but that’s like saying books shouldn’t have three authors.
January 1st, 2016 at 1:12 pm
Everyone: BOOKS SHOULDN’T HAVE THREE AUTHORS!!
January 1st, 2016 at 2:06 pm
“Oh dear, another author quit in disgust. Go hire a new one.”
January 15th, 2017 at 9:29 pm
Has anyone noticed how terribly urgent the font is?
January 15th, 2017 at 11:26 pm
The title is trying to draw your attention away from the rest of the cover. Or perhaps it’s trying to escape to a different book.
January 15th, 2017 at 11:33 pm
‘…and S. M. Stirling helped hold down the Shift key.’
January 15th, 2017 at 11:35 pm
“… while one of the many Baen Davids did the coloring.”
November 15th, 2017 at 5:08 am
The artist didn’t really know how to do chrome, so made it heavily detailed to cover up for it.
September 15th, 2018 at 6:12 pm
Just a reminder that Wednesday is Talk Like a Pirate Day, in case ye salty dogs have any pirate-themed covers.
September 16th, 2018 at 5:26 pm
Yes, send in your “space pirate” covers, or pirated editions or whatever you got. We can use a fresh supply of deplorables, of any theme, in the slush pile.