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Oct 18

Turn it off Inquisitor General. He's had quite enough of William Shatner's spoken word albums.Click for full image

Phil Comments: Coming up next on Radio Free Albemuth, the latest from Lynyrd Skynrd. But first, here’s the weather forecast.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.11 out of 10)
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Oct 13

Man I have such a splitting dimensional rip right in the middle of my face.Click for full image

Tom M Comments: An enthralling depiction of what goes on inside the author’s head. You WILL be amazed by the crazy things he can think up – such as a bald man! Or a woman!
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.09 out of 10)
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Oct 11

Freeze! I've chosen the best camouflage money can buy. He'll never see us!Click for full image

Jose Comments: Everything about this cover is perfect (in a very wrong way); a spangly shirt, a sentient cactus and a lizard with its ‘hands’ on its hips.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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Oct 10

Damn it. Stop using zero-gravity to look down my conveniently cut catsuit!Click for full image

Tom’s Art Direction: We need a cover that is hip or groovy or whatever the kids are into now. Make sure it has big hair, shoulder pads, pink neon, the works! Oh and see if David Bowie is available.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Oct 07

How was getting my head cut off? Meeeehh...Click for full image

Scott B Comments: A smug four-armed barbarian Telly Savales holding a bemused decapitated robot head. Works for me.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Sep 30

Ouch ouch ouch! Don't cross the thumbsss!!!Click for full image

Muttley’s Art Direction: A Wizard, right? You know, caped, with magic sparks or something. Big Hair (TM) too.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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Sep 26

With my sword I will... AHHHH GOD I'M BLIND!!!Click for full image

Art Direction: You want to know what we need art minion!?! Let me tell you. The bigest TINGGGGGGGG anyone has ever seen! Make sure even the man holding his mighty sword is blinded by its awesomeness. Oh and… make sure he’s pretty much naked. Why? Well… why not? Eh?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.36 out of 10)
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Sep 23

And that my cyclopes robot friend, is how you dance!Click for full image

Pete Comments: The prequel to Batman Begins.
Published 1950

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Sep 21

No... what have you done with ET?!?Click for larger image

Joachim Comments: It’s one of these covers where words simply fail to describe the horrors at play — the garish colors cavorting among mutated humanoid shapes (Malcolm McDowell?) and what can only be a doe-eyed, disembodied, (potentially) cuddly dragon spirit monkey…
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Sep 20

Lucky for me... octopuses don't know how to sword fight! hiyaaaaa! Or do they... oh crap...Click for full image

Art Direction: Man in a thong sword fighting an octopus while two half naked babes watch. My only regret is that only the French people will see this glorious work of art. Maybe someday… someone… somewhere will show this to the masses so they might all say, “Good Show Sir. Good Show!”
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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