Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: We all know the one thing vampires suffer from. Bighanditis! What do you mean that isn’t a thing? Of course it’s a thing, a vampire thing! Look it says right here in the book of ‘Your Pay Check’! Now, just draw some kid, in a cloak, looking like he should be in a broadway musical. And make his hands BIG!
Published 1985

(Average: 8.05 out of 10)

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Janet’s Art Direction: Okay, fine, you’re an “artist”… you can paint your own cover.
Published 1991

(Average: 7.49 out of 10)

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Jon’s Art Direction: Oh, just pick some stuff from the clipart. It’s about a time machine, so make sure you put a clock in there!
Published 1965

(Average: 7.85 out of 10)

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SteveAsat Comments: You know what robots really don’t need? Polio. For more than three decades I have wondered whether anything even remotely resembling this scene appears in the novel. But it’s Saberhagan, so the mere thought of flipping through the actual text induces naptime.
Published 1981

(Average: 6.44 out of 10)

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Muttley’s Art Direction: A Wizard, right? You know, caped, with magic sparks or something. Big Hair (TM) too.
Published 1986

(Average: 7.23 out of 10)

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Greengerg Comments: Poor Lin Carter, surely he won the lifetime award for the biggest string of terrible paperback covers. In this classic, the sad golden gargoyle refuses to join the revelers with their horns of ale, perhaps because he cannot figure out why a guy with such bizarre body proportions got to be the hero.
Published 1976

Many thanks to Green!

(Average: 7.64 out of 10)

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GK comments: Donkey Kong meets Short Round.
Published 1983

Many thanks to GK!

(Average: 7.97 out of 10)

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The great artists of our time had a formula for where the human eye would automatically look to when presented with a work of art. At that precise point I know exactly what we need. A huge horse’s head, in pain, as it gets speared by a crazed redhead.

(Average: 6.38 out of 10)

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We’ll have a dragon sweeping into a castle wall, a ninja on its back. And we’ll have the dragon actually killing someone with it’s, ummmm, magic breath. That’s right, just magic. Possibly electricity. I don’t know what dragons actually breathed, I haven’t got to that part in my dragonology night course yet.

(Average: 6.64 out of 10)

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I’ll admit the only idea I could come up with is: a woman with laser gun cowers backwards with her chimpanzee colleague, who, I might add, should be in a tight leather body suit. Also, throw in a huge red horned daemon bull creature as he hurls himself at them with a loincloth… sorry I mean spear… ah what the hell why not both!?

(Average: 6.33 out of 10)

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