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Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: “We commissioned a cover for a children’s Christmas book “Santa Help Me”. Are you dyslexic or just a moron?!”

Published 1980

(Average: 8.38 out of 10)

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Charles Comments: Looks like a teleporter malfunction at the bird lab again.

Published 1979

(Average: 7.67 out of 10)

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Wingding Comments: It all made sense when Deborah met Brad’s Mom, “Birdie”.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1981

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Ryan Comments: Giving them utili-kilts did not make the household pets any less mischievous.

Published 1989

(Average: 8.29 out of 10)

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Gwynyth Comments: “Time to Marie Kondo the hell out of this place”.

Published 1981

(Average: 6.11 out of 10)

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Bibliomancer Comments: I’m betting he’s plucking that old man’s eyeballs out when he’s finally dead.

Published 1996

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Charles Comments: This title bothers me. If they are “Legends from the End of Time” then they would have no descendants and so nobody to remember them as legends. Also did he use a live model to paint those boobs? I’ll bet she felt ridiculous after she saw the results.

Published 1977

(Average: 6.71 out of 10)

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Wendy Comments: Open wide and say “WHAAAAAA?????”

Published 1971

(Average: 8.86 out of 10)

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Arthur Dent Comments: Just before being killed by the onrushing semi someone else’s life passed before my eyes. It was much more interesting than mine.

Published 1986

You might remember this from here.

(Average: 8.75 out of 10)

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Lillie Awesome Art Direction: Give me a little man, with a giant bird grafted to his head, and out of the giant bird’s head, I want a man’s head if human heads were shaped like potatoes, but upside down, and sitting inside that, I want a man, but with a bird’s head, and maybe make it look like the bird-headed man is shooting a bird out of his hand, which should also be holding a torch. Throw a bunch of rainbow people in a birth control pillbox in the background — it’s very high concept. We’re going to have to skimp on printing costs because we went over budget persuading Heinlein and Asimov to appear together, so don’t break your neck painting detail. Now, what say we make this a five martini lunch?

Published 1970

(Average: 8.83 out of 10)

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