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Nov 02

Worst. Orgy. Ever.Click for larger image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: “We commissioned a cover for a children’s Christmas book “Santa Help Me”. Are you dyslexic or just a moron?!”

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.38 out of 10)
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Oct 06

Adult fantasy? Not my style.Click for larger image

Charles Comments: Looks like a teleporter malfunction at the bird lab again.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Oct 05

But she didn't buy into the idea of No Shirt SaturdayClick for larger image

Wingding Comments: It all made sense when Deborah met Brad’s Mom, “Birdie”.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Mar 03

Kiss my asp!Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Giving them utili-kilts did not make the household pets any less mischievous.

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Feb 18

Dada? Nyet nyet!Click for larger image

Gwynyth Comments: “Time to Marie Kondo the hell out of this place”.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.11 out of 10)
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Dec 09

The Owl and the Pussycat were unavailableClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: I’m betting he’s plucking that old man’s eyeballs out when he’s finally dead.

Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Mar 12

Granny's gettin goosedClick for larger image

Charles Comments: This title bothers me. If they are “Legends from the End of Time” then they would have no descendants and so nobody to remember them as legends. Also did he use a live model to paint those boobs? I’ll bet she felt ridiculous after she saw the results.

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.71 out of 10)
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Oct 23

Tom Mix Seal of Approval!Click for larger image

Wendy Comments: Open wide and say “WHAAAAAA?????”

Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Oct 04

Our family crest. Unicorn! rampantClick for larger image

Arthur Dent Comments: Just before being killed by the onrushing semi someone else’s life passed before my eyes. It was much more interesting than mine.

Published 1986

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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May 22

A bird with a bird hairdo. A first.Click for larger image

Lillie Awesome Art Direction: Give me a little man, with a giant bird grafted to his head, and out of the giant bird’s head, I want a man’s head if human heads were shaped like potatoes, but upside down, and sitting inside that, I want a man, but with a bird’s head, and maybe make it look like the bird-headed man is shooting a bird out of his hand, which should also be holding a torch. Throw a bunch of rainbow people in a birth control pillbox in the background — it’s very high concept. We’re going to have to skimp on printing costs because we went over budget persuading Heinlein and Asimov to appear together, so don’t break your neck painting detail. Now, what say we make this a five martini lunch?

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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