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Nov 22

GAH! It's a killer cranberry!Click for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: I’m CERTAIN people will buy this. If it was good enough for Hugo Gernsback, it’s good enough for me.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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Nov 18

It's not that I don't want to look at the planet exploding... it's just really hard to turn in this suit.Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: Does this suit make my package look too small? Or anything else, for that matter?
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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Nov 07

MAN KAT DRESEZ FABULOUSLY!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: One Word – Cat People… ok… so two words!But one cat alien wearing the latest outer space fashions!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.62 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Gwad.. that cyborg looks so bad. Put some lipstick on it.Click for full image

John A H Comments: The future belongs to the designer egg timer people.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.79 out of 10)
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Oct 18

Turn it off Inquisitor General. He's had quite enough of William Shatner's spoken word albums.Click for full image

Phil Comments: Coming up next on Radio Free Albemuth, the latest from Lynyrd Skynrd. But first, here’s the weather forecast.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.42 out of 10)
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Oct 10

Damn it. Stop using zero-gravity to look down my conveniently cut catsuit!Click for full image

Tom’s Art Direction: We need a cover that is hip or groovy or whatever the kids are into now. Make sure it has big hair, shoulder pads, pink neon, the works! Oh and see if David Bowie is available.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Oct 05

Why.... WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?

Marmontoast Comments: As an online repository of truly dreadful sci-fi covers grows larger, the probability of seeing a rocket with Hitler’s face approaches 1 – Godwin’s Law of ghastly art direction.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.01 out of 10)
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Oct 04

Oh Chanur... who's your hair stylist? I love what they've done with your neck hair!Click for full image

Art Direction: Look it will just be like every cover you have ever seen but this time… they’re cat people! They’ll have everything a cat would normally have like fuzzy hair, cat mouths, pointy ears but no tails. Tails, I think would be a step too far! We don’t want people to be too embarrassed when they buy it!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.21 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Look... I'm not playing chess until you.. take off those ridiculous butterfly wings for ears!Click for full SINFULLY NAKED image

Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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Sep 05

Ah the classic space Olympic event of UFO tossing.Click for full image

Joachim Comments: Space Olympics look exactly like regular Olympics except in cartoon and a space ship poking up in the background…
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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