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May 10

Half-assed cover artClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: The Pyramids vs. Stonehenge: The Monumental Battle

Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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25 Responses to “The Pyramids from Space”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    Scottie, beam down the rest of my legs.
    And my pants!

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    In ancient times,
    Hundreds of years before the dawn of history
    Lived a strange race of people, the Hunkbutts…

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    I’m pretty sure you don’t cast a net to catch lobster, but then this is science fiction.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    I suspect that fellow really wants to be caught.

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    Actually, the blurb makes complete sense: Sending pyramids to catch earthmen, throwing a lasso to catch snakes, using snares to catch butterflies…

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @JuanPaul—maybe we need a “Really Stupid Similes” tag.

    Like big loaves of bread piled high at the grocery, the stones of stonehenge beckoned the weary traveler.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JuanPaul: …using the worst sci-fi/fantasy book covers to catch anonymous nerds? 😉

  8. Billy Awesome Says:

    I hold the dubious distinction of actually having read this book! It’s hands down the laziest novel, sci-fi or otherwise, that I have ever experienced! I hold on to my copy just so I’m always completely certain which title is the worst in my library! The plot is strung together like the free-associative play of 8-year-old boys at recess! Also, a strong candidate for the highest per-page exclamation point density in the English language!

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Like Richard Burton, Jack Bertin pronounced his name “Burr-tin.”

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Billy Awesome – So how did they catch Earthmen with pyramid-lobster-nets?
    Or did they only catch dead pharaohs?

  11. Billy Awesome Says:

    @Bibliomancer – The Earthmen just sort of wandered in! Like a new store at a shopping mall! But then there was danger! I think it involved time travel! I remember there being dinosaurs and Roman Centurions! Our hero acted resourcefully! Like fixing a broken pair of glasses with surgical tape! Everything worked out in the end! I’ve blotted the exact details from my memory!

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Billy Awesome – Love! that! Jack! Bertin! writing! style!

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @Billy Awesome (11): I always wondered if they’d dare make a crossover episode of ‘Stargate SG1′ and McGuyver’.

  14. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Unremarkable.” In fact, written by the executor of his estate:

    http://www.sf-encyclopedia.com/entry/bertin_jack

  15. Anna T. Says:

    @Tat Wood: When was MacGyver naked and half-transparent? Although we are most certainly in agreement about the pyramids being Goa’uld motherships.

    Also, about that crossover . . . don’t you think the combined universes would self-destruct from the paradox?

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Unremarkable!

  17. fred Says:

    Damn. Why couldn’t the mysterious power have sent strip clubs and the publisher have been BAEN?

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: because LOBSTERS!

  19. HappyBookworm Says:

    @JuanPaul – That was my first thought, too, about lobster catching methods. Is there a word for paying attention to things like that, but not really thinking the rest of the cover is that odd? Maybe it’s a “misaligned suspension of disbelief?”

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It’s been three months, and he’s still buffering! Should I reload the cover, do you think?

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    I could make a gag about Ikea goalposts but American readers might sulk. And then we’d have to explain the offside rule again.

  22. RachelJ Says:

    @JuanPaul, HappyBookworm. IIRC nets can be used for some types of lobster- but still, why not leave it at, “Like a fisherman throwing out a net”? Why specify that the net is for lobster? Was the blurb writer actually trying to convey the notion of a trap– such as a lobster pot- but found the phrase “setting out pots” just too inelegant?

  23. JuanPaul Says:

    @RJ Setting lobster pots relates a little better to sending pyramids than casting a net does, though it might sound a little quirky.

    @TW I am an American an I like soccer. There, I said it…and now I laugh heartily at ikea goalposts.

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Honey, where’s my pants?”

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    @JuanPaul: I was making a topical dig at Hope Solo’s tantrum. Her public comments have been endlessly amusing to anyone who’s had to rough it in a Sunday league (or share a house with someone who did). Let’s hope her anti-Zika precautions worked and that she never has to play anywhere near Lime, Massachusetts.

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