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Apr 24

The hookah-smoking caterpillar went thatawayClick for larger image

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It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Worst of the Best from F&SF

Ace E. Doocy Comments:

1. The FBI Taint Team swings into action.

2. Better add a rocket or they’ll never know it’s science fiction.

Published 1962, 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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16 Responses to “The Best From Fantasy & Science Fiction”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: “I’m pointing at the moon and you’re looking at the finger! I mean, c’mon!”

    2: Based on the author’s observation of his five-year-old’s playtime.

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. “Hey look at me! I’m a fun guy!”

    2. I’ll bet you 40¢ this is a Harry Turtledove short story.

  3. fred Says:

    1. Harlan Ellison’s shuriken is like the obelisk in 2001.

    2. You try to arrest a Viking berserker on drunk-and-disorderly you get what you deserve.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    @fred: I misread that as “Harlan Ellison’s shrunken like the obelisk in 2001”.

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    Well at least the second one has the historically accurate no-horns viking.

  6. Mellie M. Says:

    1st book: Because when your species evolves on a mushroom planet, you have a frog face, skeleton hands, a human body and a receding hairline. If I looked like that I’d want somebody’s skull on a pole, too.

    2nd book: I like the random floating eyes. You could put them on almost anything and make it better. Greeting cards, wall art, t-shirts, chairs, the rear window of a car, the side of an airplane, your front door… Really, almost anything.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Needs a “big hands” tag, maybe a “big feet” tag also, or maybe “prehensile toes.”

    2. Looks like another episode of the RAKET AND SKIBET show!

  8. Anna T. Says:

    1: Frog-human hybrids created by mad science who live in a mushroom forest. Nope. Not visiting that planet.

    2: I take it the eyes looming over all this belong to the person who created this anachronistic mishmash?

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    1. His butt looks like the face of Joe Camel.

    2. I don’t remember there being a little green army man with a battle axe. Use your gun, moron.

  10. Tor Mented Says:

    Top book:
    First frogman: Hey, kids, watch me spin the wheel of fortune.
    Second frogman: Do what you want, Phinneas, but I ain’t placing no bets.
    Third frogperson: God, I’m just not ready for a clothing-optional mushroom forest.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’d be less embarrassed (that’s the first one — bare-assed) to read the second on on the bus. So it got a worse cover 13 years later.

    Pretty sure that first one is an outtake from Dark Crystal, or possibly from the pron parody thereof.

  12. JuanPaul Says:

    @gssxn dark crystal porn parody…i’m dying

  13. Dave M Says:

    [1] – “It’s just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right!”
    [2] – Honestly, I’ve seen wackier Skyrim mods.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JuanPaul: There’s a porn movie of everything, esp. back in those days. Rule 34 didn’t start with the internet.

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    @JuanPaul #9….#1 – that is so true!

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    1. “I hereby banish you to the land of the French!”

    2. “Joe, don’t let him draw you into his kind of fight! Use a gunpowder weapon – don’t pay attention when he says it isn’t manly!”

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