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May 01

You're getting DragonswarmerClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: Spoiler alert! Looks like we have the Game of Thrones script for the upcoming battle for King’s Landing.

Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.10 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “The Dragonswarm”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Yeah, an infestation can be a pest, but they’re easy to catch what with their tails dragging along the ground.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    Mmm… red liquorice!

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    “My liege! We completed the castle exactly as you sketched it on your napkin!”

  4. Raoul Says:

    @JuanPaul
    — It was supposed to be 100′ wide!
    — Look at the napkin. You wrote 100″

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Welcome welcome welcome to the Dragonswarm Festival!
    Better than Coachella!
    Better than Burning Man!

    As usual, we’ve hidden a bevy of young damsels, mostly Princesses, among the heavily forested hills. When the signal is given, all you dragons go swarming across the treetops and find the damsels! Bring them to this ruined phallic tower home base and collect points! Remember to be gentle—there are deductions for burning, slashing, biting or tearing their tender young flesh. The dragon who fetches the most damsels is named this year’s “King of the Swarm” and is entitled to a lot of swell prizes. Everybody ready? Ok, then, go swarm!!

  6. fred Says:

    Of course dragons warm, but I see no evidence of fire breathing on this cover.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Dragonswarm is ‘Book 2 of the Dragonprince Trilogy’. Is the space-bar on his keyboard broken?

    (And, in the obligatory obscure 70s British reference, is the author from Croydon?)

    If dragons are a persistent problem, the keep’s lack of a roof is another design problem.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    *In best Derek Zoolander voice*

    “What IS this? A castle for ANTS???”

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—Given the labor it would take to read these books, I am guessing that Book 3 of the “Dragonprince” trilogy will be titled “Dragonass.”

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    It’s a masterpiece from the school of ‘Battlements Are Hard to Draw’

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    This looks more like a birdhouse made by a 5-year-old.

    @BC – GSS 🙂 Book 4: Dragontheline

  12. Outis Says:

    Well, the rendering of the background I kind of like. But that red dragon looks really twisted, I could believe it’s facing the observer head-on and… its tail sprouts from its chest ?? Oh my eyes…

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’ve decided the dragon is from another dimension, b/c like @Outis, my eyes can’t figure out how the hell it would work in this time-space continuum.

    This is another strike against self-publishing (CreateSpace is just that). I wonder who got suckered in to actually buying or being gifted the print version, and how long it took them to fob it off to the used book store. And why the store took it.

    That’s actually a cheapo plastic award for Salesman of the Year, or Most Improved Whatever, and is thus about a foot tall. Therefore the dragons could be wiped out by a bug zapper or flyswatter.

    Quick Henry, the Flit! (a reference too old for any of us)

    GSS to everyone above.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: why is Croydon always a reference, and what does it reference? I’ve been there once and didn’t see anything particularly yuk-worthy.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSSxN – Bookstore owner’s are too smart to get this foisted on them. I took the picture at our Friends of the Library local book sale. Two days later it was still on the table.

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSSxN: Croydon used to be the first bit of genuine suburbia on the way out of London into commuterland but not yet into the stockbroker belt (cf Surbiton, an up-itself version of Croydon a few miles further but three times the house-prices). Like Ilford, Watford or Slough, it’s the start of not-London-but-wants-to-be.Both sides, metropolitan and rural, look down on them.

    My specific reference was to ‘Burkiss Way’ character-cum-punchline Eric Pode of Croydon.

  17. anon Says:

    Book 2 or Cringy Triple Gonad
    GRAND STRAW HOME / WARM THE DRAGONS
    A-Ooga Prune

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: thank’ee. I’ve seen Croydon as a punchline many a time but didn’t know what it was in reference to. It did strike me as the ur-suburb, so I was able to suss out the reason it was joked about, but not the specific antecedent.

    Sounds like that was a very amusing radio show. I like the title of episode 45.

    @B’mancer: Aha. That explains it. When the used bookstores won’t take them, you foist them off on the FotL. And then I hope the FoTL did the right thing and put this into a recycling bin so it can become something more useful, like TP or paper towels or something.

    I bet Aaron gave this to some relative who either doesn’t like fantasy or has better taste in books, and it went out to the FotL after a discreet interval.

  19. Hammy Says:

    “The dragon’s warm. Will ya crank up the air conditioning?”

  20. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Outis & GSSxn: Maybe it’s an Anne McCaffrey dragon that’s just about to teleport, so It’s bending spacetime around itself. If it’s just started to fly in a direction outside normal three dimensional space it makes sense that when you look at it you literally don’t know if it’s coming or going…

    …Or feet, battlements and dragons are hard to draw.

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