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Sep 04

Seven Steps to the Arbiter

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Planets were prawns and worlds were mashies ... and I'm getting hungryClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: We haven’t had an L. Ron Humpday in a while.

Thanks to Fiona for sending this in!

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.18 out of 10)
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16 Responses to “Seven Steps to the Arbiter”

  1. THX 1139 Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 10:52 am

    “Stay back – with this e-meter I can blackmail you all!”

  2. Francis Boyle Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 11:15 am

    You can’t tell me that wasn’t the original design for theSea Org uniform.

  3. fred Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 11:33 am

    It took the skills of a mountain goat to get to the top of that rubble pile, so the helmet isn’t just ornamentation.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 2:04 pm

    “Let me show you this artist’s concept of what our new OT ceremony will look like…”

  5. Tat Wood Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Him: ‘I’ve got a giant screwdriver and I’m not afraid to use it.’
    Her: ‘That’s nice, dear. Can I have my raincoat back? It’s getting a bit parky.’

  6. Bibliomancer Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    He is really overdressed for shooting rats down at the dump.

  7. Rick Deckard Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    Ok. I got the laser pointer working now. Let me begin my TED talk …

  8. Anna T. Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    I suppose the “renegade Earthman” will save everyone by recruiting them into his cult?

    Complete with being rewarded by the damsel, as is only stereotypical.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    Speaking of stereotypical, embiggened, that golem on the lower left seems to be quite enjoying the view.

    Also, good catch on the “Smirky McSmug” tag—he seems to be getting a real kick out of wielding that laser vacuum cleaner.

  10. JuanPaul Says:
    September 4th, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    Elon Musk broke out his Shazam costume to promote the latest product from the Boring Company.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:
    September 5th, 2019 at 2:00 am

    Seven Steps or the Elevator by L. Ron Sluggard

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:
    September 5th, 2019 at 2:51 am

    This had loaded halfway up when I thought “Yeah! L. Ron Humpday!”

    Is he shooting at thetans, or the critics who gave accurate bad reviews to the “Battlefield Earth” movie?

    The blurb looks to have been writ by Elron his ownself, with the breathless overheated prose. Also with the Freudian slip of “fought (the IRS) to enforce his domination”.

    @Tag Wiz: excellent tagging, except no artist “credit”. I see a signature reading “Powell”, unless that’s just a version of “Pow well! Pew pew pew!”

    ISFDB has this artist (mononymed) and he appears to have been active in the late 40’s. Which makes me think Elron picked it up cheap in an estate sale. But hey, if Elron can crank out reams of bad pulp fiction after he’s dead, the artist can illustrate it.

    GSS to:

    whoever did the mouseover
    and…
    reads comments
    Everyone. Capital job, gang!
    Extra kudos to fred, Anna T, and JuanPaul (who made me snerk).

    PS: A quick shufti through LRH’s listing shows that this is a reprint of a collection from 1949, when it was titled the more logical and less grandiose “The Kingslayer”. However, that has a different cover by someone else, so my snarky joke stands. He’s still got a red and yellow suit, though.

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:
    September 5th, 2019 at 7:13 am

    @B. Chiclitz @9: yeah, the ogres/goblins/mutants/whatever seem to be there as spectators more than anything else, there to enjoy the sight of Hero-Man zapping whatever he’s zapping.

    The Bigass Gun seems to be powered by a couple cables snaking off to the right, possibly to some sort of generator, which would seem to be a bit of a combat risk, but then his extremely exposed posture suggests what he’s shooting at can’t shoot back. Maybe it _is_ rats. Or really huge cans.

  14. THX 1139 Says:
    September 5th, 2019 at 10:41 am

    @Bruce: Stay away from the cans! He hates these cans!

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:
    September 5th, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    @JP #10….GSS!

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:
    September 6th, 2019 at 7:20 am

    “Uh, sweetie… I know you like target practice, but have you noticed there are ogres creeping up on us? And I’m scantily clad?”

    (The fact that he hasn’t noticed her sexy clothing… well… there’s another Scientologist joke for ya.)

    After 24 hours’ sober reflection*, I still think @JuanPaul wins this one. So perfect.

    They had to make that standard 70’s SF font Epic enough for LRH by giving it a drop shadow AND extending the two letters to frame his name.

    *which, considering I’m a liberal woman in America, I think I deserve credit for being sober that long.

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