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Jun 22

Welcome to this lovely planet, here's my cloak of DAEMONS!Click for full image

Sarah Comments: This cover raises a lot of questions. Are those pointed shoes? What’s up with his hands? Do all “galactic Machiavellis” keep the souls of deceased dinosaurs in their cloaks? Why does he look as though a slight breeze would knock him over?
Published 1973

Leggings and a dinner suit. Good look!
Many thanks to Sarah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.05 out of 10)
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31 Responses to “Envoy to New Worlds”

  1. Parker Says:

    Oh whatever happened to the mens cape. There was a day when a gentlemans suit was not complete without one.

    That one above seems to have suffered slightly from daemonic possession!

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    If he’s underwater, then he’s farting up a typhoon behind him.

  3. Herm Says:

    Now you mention it, that pose does look completely unstable.

    But forget that — I want his cape SO BADLY. The whole ensemble, in fact, if the suit is available in a colour that’s less Father Christmas and more Space Machiavelli: The Sequel.

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    WARNING: book may or may not contain vampires.

  5. DeadRobot Says:

    Since when did the Wizard of Oz have a Buck Rogers ray gun?

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Do you see those “planets” up in the sky? They’re actually balloons. FILLED WITH METHANE. I think that explains a fair bit of the picture, don’t you?

  7. CSA Says:

    I’d be more interested in NASAs space program if they made the astronauts wear capes which imprison the souls of the teeming undead.

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Choose a caption:

    A) “Whoa-whoa-whoa…” *BONK* “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”

    B) “Ed Wood Jr. presents… CRISWELL AND THE AMAZING BLACK-AND-WHITE DREAMCOAT!”

    C) “I almost caught a ravenous bugblatter beast, and it was THIS big…!”

  9. Tommi Says:

    “Hey, pssssst, wanna buy some fogmonsters? … Or we can play with my tiny spaceship.”

  10. e.lee Says:

    ‘The Galactic Machiavelli’ looks like a children’s tea-party entertainer

  11. e.lee Says:

    On closer examination, it’s Christopher Plummer during panto season!

  12. DeadRobot Says:

    >>e.lee a children’s tea-party entertainer

    Holy crap if that guy showed up at my kid’s party I’d call the cops. Or put a web cam on him and make a few bucks.

  13. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘And our envoy is … the phantom raspberry-blower of old London town!’

  14. Kathleen Says:

    that font is really really bad

  15. Nix Says:

    In all the Retief books I’ve read, not once did Laumer mention that he was a flamboyant zombie with grey-green skin.

  16. e.lee Says:

    @ DeadRobot ‘Hey kiddies! With the help of his wispy cloak underlings, The Great Retief will inflate all the balloon animals!”

  17. Evad Says:

    Fingers is hard to draw

  18. Mat T Says:

    He’s thrusting his groin forward in a way that makes a swift punch to it almost compulsory.

  19. David Says:

    Amazing that they had a George Clooney look-alike back in ’73.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Alternate cover blurbs to match the “stunning” artwork:

    A) “Retief – the galactic Halloween party crasher!”

    B) “Retief – the galactic Confuse-A-Cat!”

    C) “Retief – the galactic WTF??”

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    Retief – The Galactic Liberace

  22. Anna T. Says:

    You know, given that the souls of the damned are concealed in that cloak, RED is really not the right colour for it. Also, no self-respecting Galactic Wizard Machiavelli stands in a pose that both leaves him likely to be knocked over by a slight breeze but leaves his crotch thrust forward and easily kneed by passerby. But then this man clearly isn’t a self-respecting Galactic Wizard Machiavelli.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW: we might need a ‘strange creatures’ tag and a ‘skulls-a-poppin’ tag for the cape. And there’s an un-tagged rocket in the background, stage left.

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Doesn’t the codpiece go on OVER the tights?

  25. JuanPaul Says:

    That embarrassing moment when you realize you should have had that old cape dry cleaned before wearing it to the party.

  26. fred Says:

    I can’t decide whether he’s dressed for Halloween or St Patrick’s Day.

  27. JuanPaul Says:

    @fred Well, I’m told Halloween was created in Ireland, so it makes sense to be dressed for both, right?

  28. THX 1138 Says:

    @Juan Paul: 104 more days till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, 104 more days till Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

  29. THX 1138 Says:

    I just hope Paul Daniels didn’t see this before he left us.

  30. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I’ll bet he’ll Machiavelli nice cloak for a good price. His needle fingers are perfect for detail work.

  31. GSS noob Says:

    This must be a Retief story I never read, wherein he becomes one of the undead.

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