Jul 27
Click for full imageSarah’s Art Direction: So there’s this guy, right? And he’s a lobster. But not really a lobster! Just has a lobster body. Uh, and really skinny arms. And he’s got a parrot for a sidekick, but get this — the parrot is a lobster, too! You getting all of this down, Steve? Ooh, maybe thrown in one of those “Manamanah” things from The Muppets, too. People love those.
Published 1978
Lets just see who that killer crab from the other day really is!
Many thanks to Sarah!
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July 27th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Is he wearing a lobster costume? He must have really thin arms.
July 27th, 2010 at 11:18 am
Shit. I would murder if I could get my very own wheelchair parrot lobster.
July 27th, 2010 at 11:18 am
FINALLY IN PAPERBACK! Man, I’ve been waiting for years.
So… when he has that lobster helmet on how does he see? The eye holes don’t really look like they’ll line up with his own.
July 27th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Retief had it all put together… the lobster costume; the weird, mis-matched mask; the cold, psychotic stare. He couldn’t understand why no one on his street would give him candy when he knocked on their door.
It didn’t matter. Soon they’d ALL give him candy, whether they liked it or not. TRICK OR TREAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
July 27th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Pass my bib and the butter!
July 27th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
There’s a perfectly rational explanation, folks…
Retief was swordfighting with a giant lobster-man, and they BOTH lopped off each other’s head at the same time… which caused Retief’s head to land on top of the lobster-man’s decapitated body.
July 27th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
That sickly bird-thing must be the origin of the phrase “sick as a parrot…with lobster claws”.
July 27th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Retief’s first attempt at Uplift was not considered a success
July 27th, 2010 at 11:59 pm
SI: Likely camera eyes with a screen inside the helmet. Wrong number of eyes for a Groaci, though…and I suspect it’s supposed to be a Groaci disguise. It’s certainly not hemidemisemiformalwear.
July 29th, 2010 at 6:16 am
Wha’ts with the cross-eyed, shocked expression on the building in the background? An example of the aliens’ startlist architectural movement?
July 29th, 2010 at 3:45 pm
DVD: Having read the book, I can state that it’s not a nine-eyed sticky fingers disguise. iirc the natives are composite creatures, where freemoving arms, etc., conjoin to form more complex critters, with the partial result of non-uniformity of appearance,
May 28th, 2021 at 11:59 am
Always a relief to see Retief.
May 28th, 2021 at 1:08 pm
Composite creatures? This must be a crosstacean.
May 28th, 2021 at 1:11 pm
Joaquin Phoenix’s next superhero movie promises to be even weirder than “Joker.”
May 28th, 2021 at 1:19 pm
Cover artist is Carlos Ochagavia. Wonder why an artist of his quality didn’t sign this……..oh, the whole quality thing.
https://sciencefictionruminations.com/2020/10/25/adventures-in-science-fiction-cover-art-the-surrealism-of-carlos-ochagavia-part-i/
May 28th, 2021 at 1:22 pm
Having retired from Hollywood and spent all his earnings from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Elijah Wood eventually became a groundskeeper and was last seen picking up discarded rubbish around Walt Disney World. Nobody could explain the lobster suit, however.
May 28th, 2021 at 5:10 pm
I’m dutifully trying to figure out just what Retief’s “greatest challenge” might be. Perhaps getting in and out of that lobster suit?
@Tor M—”crosstacean,” nice.
May 29th, 2021 at 12:10 am
Retief: And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!
@JonBobMead has confused this book with “Retief’s Ransom,” which is the planet with the easily swappable body parts. This is the planet Quopp, which “sports organic-mechanic life forms that resemble everything from electric dragonflies to living tanks and helicopters, and every tribe wars with every other.”
May 29th, 2021 at 12:46 am
@fred: This cover is a good work of art that represents the book WAY MORE than most of his work. I’m particularly horrified at “The Islar” cover. The random blobbage covers are just meh and Zzzzz.
@Bruce: I do like me some Retief stories. In all of them I’ve read (including one just this week), I don’t recall him having such scary staring eyes. “Laid back” was his modus operandi.
@Tor: excellent pun.
May 29th, 2021 at 3:48 am
@GSS ex-noob: laid back, at least up until the point where he does grievous physical harm to someone deserving. 🙂
May 29th, 2021 at 11:09 pm
@Bruce: He sort of alternates between the two. No crazy eyes, just calmly eating, drinking, and flirting, with occasional outbursts of quick violence between those.