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Sep 07

Oh that's not a snake wrapped around my leg, it's my 'magical sword!'Click for full image

David Comments: Eric Brighteyes by H Rider Haggard (1891) was set in the Viking Age. I have no idea where he found the bikini babe, ray gun or early model Bluetooth headset.
Published 1978

Vikings had lasers… right?
Many thanks to David!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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19 Responses to “Eric Brighteyes”

  1. cutmanmike Says:

    Haha, is he really going to have a lightsaber fight while holding the damsel in distress? Reminds me of Shoot Em’ Up.

  2. SI Says:

    Don’t think the cover is too bad. But in the viking context… wow…

    I’m also not sure what angle he is firing his laser. Looks… odd

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    No no, the cover is historically accurate, Honest Guv!
    Very few laymen know that Vikings perfected the mead-powered laser.

  4. Tommi Says:

    The sword is brighter than his eyes, obviously. Not word about his mind in relation to brightness, as far as I can make out.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    (Eric) Bri-hite Eyes! Burning like a fire …

    I seem to have a song in my heart this week.

  6. Little Mi Says:

    The bikini clad babe appears to have a tail and green toes. I imagine that’s going to be a bit of a surprise for our hero later on tonight.

  7. Pat Says:

    Can’t wait to read this one, good old Online Books

    http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/gutbook/lookup?num=2721

    Glowing swords and lizard maidens don’r seem so unlikely to me, the revolver in his holster does seem a little anachronistic, though.

  8. Brian B Says:

    Turn around bright eyes… and face thy dooooom!

  9. David H Says:

    Actually the book is quite good, if you can get past the mock Viking age language. For example:
    “Hearken all men!” said Eric.
    “Thrust him out!” quoth Björn.
    “Nay, cut him down!” said Ospakar, “he is an outlawed man.”
    “Words first, then deeds,” answered Skallagrim. “Thou shalt have thy fill of both, Blacktooth, before day is done.”
    “Let Eric say his say,” said Gudruda, lifting her head. “He has been doomed unheard, and it is my will that he shall say his say.”
    “What hast thou to do with Eric?” snarled Ospakar

    Oddly enough, this particular edition has several illustrations scattered among the pages. And none of them have ray guns, or space suits or bikini babes with green tentacles. Only the cover contains such over the top artwork,

  10. Brian B Says:

    I think this cover would work a lot better for one of Burroughs’ Mars novels, or one of the innumerable clones. I wonder if this was a matter of the publisher having this illustration in stock rather than commissioning a cover specfically for this novel.

    Also love that dialogue! Certainly better than anything in Star Wars Ep II

  11. Nix Says:

    David H, to an ear raised on Poul Anderson, that sounds horrible. Skalding should be left to those skilled in it. If the unskilled try they tend to get badly skalded.

    (sorry)

  12. David H Says:

    Nix:
    Pretty much what I thought. The book has a reasonably good story line. After all it was a H Rider Haggard adventure novel. The real problem is the Victorian Viking pastiche style. Somehow, a story set in ancient times had to sound like Charlton Heston as Moses.

  13. David H Says:

    Oh, and puns appreciated!

  14. Anita Says:

    They had already invented light sabers, guns and jewelry but not clothes?

  15. Nix Says:

    Oh, I didn’t notice that it was *Haggard*. That explains everything, bulging thews and cod-victoriana both.

    You’d think the Vikings would be quite hot on clothing. Scandinavia is pretty cold. (Mind you, walking around York in winter, half the young ladies are wearing much less than they do down south. Possibly this is a holdover from Viking times?)

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘His sword shone with magic might that could set fire to the gas of any lady at the party.’

  17. anon Says:

    What’s with the huge snaketail/tentacle coming out of the lady’s pooper?

  18. anon Says:

    “I swear I dropped my keys here somewhere…”

  19. L.B. Says:

    A total eclipse of the art.

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