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Apr 07

Ok thats one eagle on his chest. And one on his stomach. And the third must be... oh... I'm going to be sick...Click for full image

MisterBoB Comments: Know anyone with a eagle tattoo on their chest?
Published 1990

A special thanks to MisterBob,
who has sent us enough covers to keep the site going for the next year or so!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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39 Responses to “The Third Eagle”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    You’ve heard of “Wiggers”, white dudes trying to “act black”… now witness the “Schmative American”, a white dude trying to pass for Native American.

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Note the soulful, longing look the alien in the background is giving him… and how the soundtrack suddenly plays the cheesy 80s song “Somewhere! Love will find you!…”

    Uh-oh.

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Her fiction offers intelligence and passion in abundance” — note how the quote contains no full stop (.)… always an ominous sign.

    What was the full quote? Who knows? Could be anything. Such as:

    A) “Her fiction offers intelligence and passion in abundance but little else.”

    B) “Her fiction offers intelligence and passion in abundance comparable to Ayn Rand.”

    C) “Her fiction offers intelligence and passion in abundance — but I kid.”

  4. Ian Sales Says:

    I have that book on the TBR. MacAvoy’s Lens of the World fantasy trilogy is excellent, so I have hopes for it.

    OTOH, it’s a little worrying that the mullet still exists thousands of years in the future…

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    [He-Man voice] “I HAVE THE POWWERRR MULLEEET!!!”

  6. Phil Says:

    How many more times? BEHIND YOU!!!
    Surely panto season is long over.

  7. SI Says:

    The look on the guy behind says it all. It’s the, “Why did I walk behind him, now all I can look at is his ASS!” Look.

  8. fred Says:

    The guy who knocked you down and stole your sonic hedge trimmer looked like WHAT?!?

  9. DoDoGuRu Says:

    The Third Eagle…

    I can only assume it’s somewhere below the first and second one in the picture.

  10. Dear Prudynce Says:

    I’m distracted by that…thing in the background.

  11. Adam Roberts Says:

    The shadows of his thighs showing through his loincloth don’t match his actual thighs. Is this loincloth a prism?

    Not that I’m staring, you understand.

  12. Dalton H. Says:

    It’s just like that Mountain Dew commercial! “You got one too,” lifts up shirt showing huge eagle tattoo on chest

  13. THX 1138 Says:

    The chap behind Mr Eagle also has a tattoo on his body – of himself, only taller.

    (thanks to Steven Wright)

  14. Brian B Says:

    He looks like Val Kilmer as Madmartigan from Willow, after hitting some major steroids, on his way to a “pow wow” in a “tee-pee” (cuz of course ALL Native American tribes had pow-wows in tee-pees) to celebrate his 1/32 Native American heritage and commune with the “Great Spirit” in the “Happy Hunting Ground”–in other words getting high on peyote while watching Dances with Wolves.

  15. Whitney Says:

    Please note that the figures in the bottom right corner appear to be apes in burkas. Why is that okay?? Also, is he holding a toy spaceship?

  16. Kevin Says:

    is that a Mangalore from The Fifth Element behind him?

  17. NGpm Says:

    They couldn’t get an actual body model with Native American heritage … I don’t see why this is an issue considering the models for the others on the cover, but it hindered their accuracy.

  18. Zycrow Says:

    Oh hey dude you’ve got your harlequin in my spec fic

  19. MisterBoB Says:

    …back cover reads …
    ” a brilliant and dynamic work painted on a canvas the size of the universe “

  20. Brian B Says:

    Sounds like a pretty big canvas

  21. GK Says:

    That fat alien on the 4-wheeler is gonna have a lawsuit on his hands after the karate student he ran over gets up.

    Also, is the THIRD EAGLE tattooed directly onto his junk?

  22. BohicaSnafu. Says:

    I see two eagles, but where is the third?

  23. James Says:

    I think the aliens about to say:
    You, human, where you get assless loincloth?

    He definitely look smitten

  24. H Says:

    If you look closer than I ever wanted to have to look at a loin cloth, you can just see the yellow outline of the third eagle just above the top of the cloth.

  25. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Whitney – That is because he is Charlton Heston on the planet of the apes. These are simply middle-eastern apes.

  26. makjon Says:

    I do NOT want to know where that third eagle is tatood

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I think:

    1. The artist painted Third Eagle Hangs Left with his left leg on backward. Quadriceps do not separate like that, hamstrings do.

    2. We need a Space Sheep for the grey…person…in back.

  28. Rachel J Says:

    I looked this up. In case you were wondering, “Can this book *really* be about a Native American spaceman with an eagle tattooed you-know-where?”- the answer is yes. Yes, it is.

  29. Tom Noir Says:

    This man appears to be carrying a combination crossbow/pizza cutter. Surely this book takes place on a planet where pizzas run wild through the forests, and only the bravest pizza hunters dare face them alone.

  30. Anna T. Says:

    Hey, man, your ass is being ogled by an alien ogre. You might want to change clothes.

  31. Bastiaan Says:

    1. This cover depicts the main characters very accurately.

    2. Personally, I find nothing bad about it, but they I lived through the 1980’s.

    3. The book, while not a masterpiece, is quite readable.

  32. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    4. Eagles!

  33. random Donna Says:

    Like Bastiaan, I’ve read this book. It even had the very same cover art and all. Yep, it depicts the contents accurately, without doing them justice. It’s certainly a better book than you might think. I’ve read several books by R.A. MacAvoy, and they’ve all been pretty good. Come to think of it, most of them have had ridiculous covers, too.
    And, yep, the third eagle is tattooed exactly where you think.

  34. GSS noob Says:

    As per the mouseover text, yes. You can see the top of his third eagle. It’s yellow. You’d see more of it if his loincloth wasn’t hiked up weird in the middle, which… probably was an order to the artist. Maybe that’s why his thigh shadows and the loincloth don’t match.

  35. Tom Noir Says:

    Thanks to this book, we now have ‘eagle’ as a euphemism for penis.

  36. classicOz Says:

    Is it like Tolkien – eagles save everyone?

  37. Tracy Says:

    He’s got quite an innie for his navel.

  38. GSS ex-noob Says:

    So he’s The Third Eagle in the way Captain Hammer is his hammer.

  39. L.B. Says:

    So the third eagle is on his little birdie? And the golem looks quite bemused by the Marx/Bolton ‘do the guy’s sporting.

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