Jun 20
Ian Comments: Reach for your gun! A man wearing nothing but a couple of spangly lights has just materialised and is scaring the women!
Published 1966
Ian Comments: Reach for your gun! A man wearing nothing but a couple of spangly lights has just materialised and is scaring the women!
Published 1966
June 20th, 2011 at 9:02 am
“There’s a naked man in our fondue!!”
June 20th, 2011 at 10:13 am
If he’s been brought back from extinction how come there are other men on the cover, and women? And wearing 60s revival garb? And they aren’t going to get far resurrecting the human race if he’s only got a sparkle instead of a winkle…
June 20th, 2011 at 10:15 am
Yeah, I think we can all see why his race became extinct.
June 20th, 2011 at 10:28 am
Come on now, it’s simply cold. That’s why it’s a twinkle instead of a flash!
I might be killed for that joke.
June 20th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Wasn’t this guy a demigod just a few days ago? (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/06/the-masks-of-time/)
They look a bit upset that he isn’t wearing a goldfish bowl. And that he’s arrived in the children’s paddling pool.
June 20th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
And Disney created Glitter Man.
June 20th, 2011 at 3:31 pm
He’s so big he’s clad with Nebulae!
June 20th, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Ending line,” Maybe were not so different after all. We might even be the same species!”
June 20th, 2011 at 5:59 pm
I hate to burst their bubbles, but those clothes will not help in a vacuum. Unless those bubble helmets are designed to avoid kissing and stuff.
June 20th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
It appears back of head foreground guy is more interested in the women instead of Mr. Alien.
June 20th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
“500,000 years after the total extinction of his race for office, one man can be brought back to life; he is
THE GINGRICH”
June 20th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Have you ever had that dream? The one where you’re back in your retro-futuristic high school and everyone is staring at you and all of a sudden you realize you’re wearing nothing but your nebulae?
June 20th, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Yep… and then the girls in their phony spacesuits start to point and giggle…
June 20th, 2011 at 10:19 pm
New tag suggestions:
Obscured Genitalia
Imaginative Obscurement
Nebula Balls
Where’s Willy
Rgds
James
June 21st, 2011 at 1:48 am
Those women are probably wearing the Playtex 18-hour girdle under their retro 60s chemises, which should provide sufficient protection against the vacuum of space..
June 21st, 2011 at 5:57 am
“Who are you people and why do I now have a glow-in-the-dark groin?”
June 21st, 2011 at 9:47 am
I take my hat off to James at Post #18 — hands down, “Where’s Willy” made me ROTFL.
June 21st, 2011 at 9:57 am
Post 18? Do you have a time machine? ‘cos Post 18 doesn’t include the phrase “Where’s Willy’.
(Oops.)
June 21st, 2011 at 10:10 am
“500,000 years… and you expect me to wake up without a morning glory!?!”
June 21st, 2011 at 12:27 pm
“Why is everybody staring at my sparkles?”
June 21st, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Upon further inspection of the cover, I’m a little concerned about where the guy in the back is planning to put that rifle/probe/thing… and I think naked-sparkles-man should be too.
June 21st, 2011 at 3:07 pm
“Where’s Willy” — haha — it would be a very very common category of bad covers… that’s for sure…
June 22nd, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Isn’t that Lee Majors?
Six million dollars – And all spent on vajazzle.
June 23rd, 2011 at 2:12 am
@Smith: It’s actually Steve Holland, who modeled for enough SF/fantasy covers over a couple of decades that he’s probably going to get his own tag here at Good Show Sir! one of these days.
(OK, in fairness, it’s him from the waist up at least…)
June 23rd, 2011 at 1:21 pm
@Don Hilliard
Heh, that probably explains why he looks so familiar.
Erm, facially I mean.
July 12th, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Hmm…The Alien looks awful familiar…I got it. It’s Cornelius from Planet of the Apes!
Somehow he’s managed to go back in time and father an ape-man from a human woman.
March 24th, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Center of the picture, holding the ‘laser’ gun: “My Gosh, Susan! What’s happened to that Alien’s buttocks?”
March 10th, 2013 at 7:17 pm
I wonder if the fact that he has no genitals might in some way play a part in why his race has been extinct for 500,000 years? The blurb certainly is not selling this book to me. Sounds like a frightfully dull reality show pitch to me.
“Tune in for all the laughs, gaffs, and drama when The Allen, whose race died out 500,000 years ago tries to fit into the modern world!”
March 11th, 2013 at 9:15 pm
But look at these people. They’ve evolved integrated fishbowl helmets. Clearly they’re much better adapted to living in space. No wonder his kind kicked the bucket.
January 23rd, 2014 at 9:09 am
Back of head foreground guy? Why does he exist? Is the artist simply showing his incredible range – backs as well as fronts of heads? Nobody does the backs.
January 24th, 2014 at 9:02 pm
He’s sporting the nebulae-as-underwear motif so as not to make the guys feel any worse than they already do. Clearly, from the expressions on the women, by the time 500,000 years had passed, all men had lost their penises. Then this throwback shows up with the old equipment (known only from the study of ancient texts and naughty wall carvings), and the ladies are—intrigued, as you can clearly tell by their facial expressions, which are, like,
“Hmmmmmmmm, oh no! hmmmmmmmm, oh no! hmmmmmmmm, oh no! hmmmmmmmmmm . . . .”
December 5th, 2015 at 8:15 pm
‘500,000 years after the total extinction of their race, one infection can be brought back to life; they are
THE PUBIC LICE’
December 7th, 2015 at 10:14 am
“500,000 years after the total extinction of his race, one man can be brought back to life; he is the alien Raymond F. Jones’ classic of Science Fiction.”
Wouldn’t you too hate to be a classic of science fiction by some alien, nevermind being of an extinct race?
November 10th, 2017 at 11:24 am
The flash makes it look as though he has extraordinarily thin lower legs. And something is wrong with his right rotator cuff, it looks out of joint.
November 10th, 2017 at 11:31 am
Six heads of hair and not a single blond/e?
I shall refrain from mentioning a certain Mr. Blade in any way shape or form.
November 10th, 2017 at 12:28 pm
Louis C.K.’s dream becomes his nightmare. It turns out that in the future women have the power to explode penises just by looking at them.
November 10th, 2017 at 2:06 pm
“Oh no! The alien is stomping all our grapes again. He’ll ruin the vintage. Shoot him, Bob, quickly!”
November 10th, 2017 at 2:23 pm
The galaxy’s most clueless male stripper shows up to work already naked, exposing his shortcomings.
‘Move on here, nothing to see’
November 10th, 2017 at 2:36 pm
@Tat: You put a smile on my face! 🙂 Are we sure he even showed up at the right party?
November 10th, 2017 at 4:22 pm
Oh no! He’s going to bore us to death with stories about “you kids have it made, it was so bad 500,000 years ago we all went extinct”!
November 10th, 2017 at 4:37 pm
@B’mancer—well now I am smiling along with dead stuff! Good one.🙂
November 10th, 2017 at 4:39 pm
Guy shows up to paintball naked. Hard core.
November 10th, 2017 at 6:24 pm
I Have No Crotch So I Just Scream.
November 10th, 2017 at 8:14 pm
I’m puzzled by the fishbowl people. Five heads but only two faces. Is it cloning or have the cosmetic surgeons run out of ideas?
November 11th, 2017 at 1:08 am
The “total extinction of his race”? All the people in bubble helmets look to be exactly the same species and race as him, and possibly descendants. The men might be somewhat less muscled, but maybe they’ve been busy working and breeding as opposed to spending their entire lives in the gym. And the tasteful sparkle smoke seems to show that he was using steroids to boot.
Does he topple over dead (on his skinny legs) in the theoretical next picture due to something in the atmosphere that necessitated everyone else wearing helmets?
His mighty loins are perilously close to displaying “Ting!”
The ladies are not at all happy with his sparkle crotch and what may or may not be there.
November 11th, 2017 at 2:09 am
In this picture there are over forty penises.
None of them can be seen.
In The Alien, Raymond F. Jones tells you how not to be seen.
November 11th, 2017 at 3:48 am
But he’s standing up! That’s one of the biggest contraindications in How Not To Be Seen, as we all learned from that documentary.
The title is so awful in both font and coloring that my brain keeps refusing to see it. And it seems to have negative sparkles across it.
November 11th, 2017 at 12:20 pm
@GSS ex-circus: and, you’ll observe there’s a gentleman standing right behind him with a gun. 😉 Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving for two weeks’ vacation.
November 11th, 2017 at 6:26 pm
All my children have been dead for 500,000 years, and they think THAT’S an excuse to never pick up the phone.
November 12th, 2017 at 1:53 am
@DSWBpython: TWO gentlemen behind him with guns.
So here’s today’s find of a Bad Self-Published Cover:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KEJUC54?tag=
Even more scary, it is a) apparently what you see on the tin, plot and quality-wise and b) chock full o’ religion. And of course it’s a trilogy.
November 12th, 2017 at 7:54 pm
I clicked on that. Captain CHAINSWORD the pirate? With first mate ANCHORDAGGER?
November 13th, 2017 at 12:49 am
@Tracy: Sad but true. All that and preaching too.