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Aug 25

We were matched on a dating website. Unusual but we're trying to make it work.Click for full image

Hey! You there beside the water cooler. What books you into these days? Narina? Narninia? Fine, let’s say a lion. And you with the coffee, what do you like? Chicks with swords. Awesome, slap them both on there. Best lens flare the hell out of the background though. I think we need something to grab people’s attention!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.56 out of 10)
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24 Responses to “Magic Burns”

  1. little mi Says:

    She’s got a sword, she’s got a disembodied lion’s head, she’s got an unidentified burning sensation making her look a little stern and I bet she wears black all the time…wow..like…isn’t she just the coolest, I wish I had been just like her in my youth…

  2. Roses Says:

    Do you remember the part in the begining of the matrix? After Neo was taken by the nasty guys, in the interrogation room, when his mouth grew over?

    I think the lion looks like that’s just happened.

    As for bondage chick….it’s amazing what people can pull out of their arse.

  3. SI Says:

    Heheh 🙂

    The lion does look significantly unimpressed. And that sword. What is it going to be good for eh? No groove in it to drain the blood. Slice someone with that and it’s not going to come back out again…….

    I know too much about that don’t I.

  4. CSA Says:

    slicing with it will be fine, its stabbing that will get it stuck 😉

    the lion looks really confused, like its raising its right eyebrow saying “wtf?”

    Is Ilona the authors real name? just swap the letters and u get Liona… i think somebody has a little bit of a lion obsession…

    The more i look at it the more i think there is something wrong with the lion. poor thing

  5. Roses Says:

    Perhaps it’s more of a slicing sword, rather than a poking sword?

    Or her sword style uses a twist to pull it out?

    Unfortunately, that knowledge comes from a visit to the Royal Armoury many, many years ago…not from experience.

  6. CSA Says:

    oh and i agree with little mi, she looks really cool… I wish I had been just like her in my youth too…

    wait… im still pretty young… and not female

  7. JustinLeego Says:

    ^CSA
    Liona… or A LION!
    I reckon the author actually IS a lion. That’s the dark secret compelling them to pen and ink.

  8. CSA Says:

    My god man! what have you done? Now you’ve revealed their secret we’re all dead men.

    You’ll get home from work, go into your living room and there will be a giant cat sitting in a chair at the end of a table, stroking a tiny white human… “no mr Leego, I expect you to die”

  9. little mi Says:

    Do you think they need to have a specially made keyboard or quill or whatever it is that urban fantasy authors use these days? I would have thought that a pen would be a bit troublesome for a lion…

  10. SI Says:

    Well I guess it depends. As we have seen from previous covers lions/tigers/cats tend to be standing up on two legs holding some sort of laser rifle or weapon.

    Maybe this one is just pretending to be a normal one.

  11. CSA Says:

    We’ll write her a letter asking her to clarify how she types/writes as a lion. Or if she is a lion with fingers and thumbs.

    FYI: ILONA ANDREWS is an anagram of “A wardens lion”… its also an anagram of “Anal Rides Now”.. but thats an entirely different matter

  12. SI Says:

    We are onto something. If we look further we get:

    “A lions war den”

    And if we take the two lions eyes and nose. Then add two more points do you know what we get… thats right… a pentagram!

  13. little mi Says:

    Perhaps the “Anal Rides Now” anagram is because she suppliments her income by writing porn. Lion porn.

    Hmmm…I think I’ve lowered the tone, i’ll get my coat.

  14. CSA Says:

    … and now i have to resist the sudden urge to type “lion king erotic fan fiction” into google… i’m not sure i can deal with the pressure of not knowing if it exists

  15. Roses Says:

    Lion porn?

    Oh! A new take on the Laurel K Hamilton, Anita Blake, porn? Vampires, were-animals all doing the nasty with Anita…

    Now you know what a sad individual I am, I’d better get my coat too, try and catch up with little mi.

  16. SI Says:

    ^Roses

    Now you know what a sad individual I am, I’d better get my coat too

    Yes.. cause no one on a site deicated to awful Sci FI and Fantasy book covers could ever be considered sad. 😉

    If you are grabbing your coats… I’m calling for a Taxi!

  17. Roses Says:

    A site dedicated to the worst Sci-fi book covers is not quite as awful as the person who actually reads them…

    If you’re calling for a taxi, why don’t I get the next round in?

  18. Roses Says:

    PS. Just to clarify, I meant the sad person who reads that which is in between the covers…not this site; which rocks.

  19. SI Says:

    haha… make mine a double please!!

  20. Sparky Says:

    Actually, the books are pretty good. But I agree, the cover art leaves something to be desired.

    Both the sword and the ‘lion’ are in the book as integral parts of the story.

    I never would have read the book if it hadn’t been recommended and I still hid the cover while I read it.

  21. Tom Noir Says:

    Glad to see that this series is still going strong, that it still features chicks and lions, and that the cover blurb hasn’t changed!

  22. FeârofMüsïc Says:

    Thank god a coworker left his computer on. Let him explain why Lionp*rn is on his links. And just in case you didn’t want to know, weirdly enough ‘Laura Lion likes rough anal s*x. Ewwwww.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @FoM—is that what causes the “Magic Burns”?

  24. Anna T. Says:

    The groove down the middle of your average sword is not to drain the blood. It’s to make it lighter.

    Does anyone else think that woman looks kind of like Rachel Lutrell?

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