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Dec 13

So gold he breaks the covers boarder!Click for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: To be honest with you, I’m not convinced he’s golden enough. Make the whites of his eyes golden as well, would you please? And a few wires attached randomly to the face will convey the science fictional nature of the book.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.21 out of 10)
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Dec 12

Hey!!! Whoever is grabbing my ass... not cool dudes... not cool!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want a colony of giant lavender termites- all with the same goofy facial expression- dragging an extremely khaki couple into their underground nest. Try and make the tunnel seem as reminiscent of a human colon as possible, as subtle subliminal foreshadowing of where a large purple ovipositor may soon find itself.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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Dec 09

Do you know how long it takes to slick my hair like this... hours. But I look fabulous!Click for full image

Jami Comments: Me giant floating head and shoulders of Demolished Man. Me crush tiny stereotypical Hammer film type female vampire and tiny floating head version of me. Then me play with all the pretty animals and the tiny naked women. Tiny clothed men can get moon dust out of my giant ear. Me have glowy thing above knuckle. Me love glowy thing.
Published 1978

Click for back cover here
Click for previous Demolished Man cover here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.55 out of 10)
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Dec 08

Men.. always more interested in jarred brains than their 50's pinup girl!Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Ok, this book is about a brain in a jar, so we’ll have a big glowing brain in a jar. With some wires and electrical discharges please, so the audience knows it’s Science. And give it evil eyesockets while you’re at it. An infinity parking lot in the background. A scientist chap. Oh, and a girl, of course. A girl in a frilly dress. With cleavage. And nailpolish.
Published 1950

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.58 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Always the lizards... always...Click for full image

Art Direction: A lizard… with a codpiece… fighting in World War 2 may seem like a crazy idea. But just put him in a work out vest and give him a laser gun. It will all work itself out!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.25 out of 10)
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Dec 06

At least that top trump ghost from the last cover isn't watching us this timeClick for full image

Tom Noir Comments: This author has a whole series of covers involving people making out above spaceships. Jokes about her “wormhole” are left as an exercise for the reader.
Published 2008

You might remember me from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.29 out of 10)
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Dec 05

Why didn't I go to summer world...Click for full image

Adam’s Art Direction: I said make the eyes BIGGER! They need to look like he’s got a magnifying glass in front of his face at all times!
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.38 out of 10)
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Dec 02

Screw ridding dragons...Click for full image

Scott Comments: Elven stripper riding a giant flying owl-cat steed! Or, tiny Elven stripper riding a normal-sized owl-cat steed? Either way, that’s one terrifying/terrified owl-cat.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Dec 01

She can make a fantastic omelet... just don't ask where she keeps the cheese.Click for full image

Alessandra Comments: Can’t quite decide if it’s a brilliant absurdist collage or a goofball collection of oddments. Egg cartons over the breasts? Seriously? And bags of candy on the shoulders and RAF wings over the head and… Yeah, goofball collection of oddments.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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Nov 30

.... Nope! ....Click for full image

ash966 Comments: Why, hello there, giant-brain-eyeball-octopus-bat-guy! And what’s behind your head? It’s not the moon, because it doesn’t go all the way around. An enormous cantaloupe, perhaps?
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.43 out of 10)
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