Apr 27

Don't look now, but Justine has way more fabulous boots on than I do!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Here’s one for the Ladies! Or gentlemen of a certain persuasion.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.73 out of 10)

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25 Responses to “Deathstalker”

  1. SI Says:

    Seems unfair to bring a gun to a sword fight. I guess at least the girl in the back will be weighed down by those fur boots!

  2. asPerry Armstrong Says:

    Unjustly branded an outlaw, he was forced to wear the Toilet Seat Collar of Shame.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Owen’ Deathstalker? I think that growing up with a name like Owen Deathstalker explains a lot about his outfit.

  4. JaunPaul Says:

    He wears the outfit to take the edge off his name…or did he change his name to give an edge to his outfit…

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    A name you can trust: Luke Deathst- er, Owen Skysta- um, Owen Deathwalker!

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Sexist bollocks! Why isn’t the lady’s occipital condyle protected? And also, why does it look like she’s got three legs?

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    So that’s Aunt Beru in the Uggs and the sequinned body-stocking. And yet Lucas thought we’d be more interested in Jar Jar and Anakin…

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    When Liberace dreamed . . . .

  9. JaunPaul Says:

    The latest Broadway smash hit: Pirates of Penzance 3000!!!

  10. fred Says:

    How many damn belts is he wearing and what holds up what.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    What is his left hand doing? It’s not in position to draw the sword, it’s too far to be holding it aloft. Maybe he’s just wiped some of the green slime from off of the right half of his face, and he’s preparing to clean his hand against his trousers.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    Presenting the Fiftieth Annual Shandari Fencing* and Fashion Tournament!

    Participants will be judged on both their combat abilities and their outrageous duds! The more outlandish the outfit, the better!

    *Please be advised that Shandari fencing also includes the wielding of a firearm.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Garnish R. Green


  14. Bibliomancer Says:

    Tonight on Dancing with the Death Stars

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    The only way the background makes any sense is if Captain Troy Handsome is obscuring a heavily-armed ninja leaping in mid-air at the precise moment depicted and both Miss Moonboots and Bio of a Space-Tyrant Guy are trying to kill this fearsome assassin.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “And say hello to my family — Chad Deathstalker, Joe Bob Deathstalker, Donald Deathstalker, Melvin Deathstalker and Walker, Texas Deathstalker.”

  17. fred Says:

    Owen Spadewearer – Wearer of Spades

  18. HappyBookworm Says:

    Questions for Mr. Deathstalker: “Why are you looking at us? Don’t you have a battle to fight? Especially since your wannabe furry girlfriend is taking a selfie of some kind instead of looking at the enemy.”

  19. Mark E Says:

    I’m fairly sure that big boot lady is taking a selfie. Neither the time nor the place lady. This is rebel space you crazy fool!

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    I like how they’ve made the tagline font hard to read, so you have to squint at Mr. Deathstalker’s crotch. Well played, publishers, well played.

  21. RachelJ Says:

    @Tom Noir. The colour choice of yellow type on a yellow background is distinctive, I’ll give it that.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    If the floor has shadows of Ugg boot girl and big guy (instead of reflections), the carpet pattern and the color/look of the walls indicate to me that they’re in the ballroom of their local Hyatt or Marriott, practicing for their big cosplay contest Saturday night! They want to win first place! They worked so hard on their costumes, you wouldn’t believe how many thrift stores they went to.

    This theory also means his excess belts, bad hand placement, her lack of armor, etc. don’t matter. It’s just outfits they’re going to wear while prancing around to some bad goth music.

    Owen’s the one who came up with the concept and his name, of course. His girlfriend is taking a photo of their pal in his fierce outfit.

  23. Tracy Says:

    The artist isn’t credited, but this looks like Rowena Morril’s work, who has sadly just passed away. She will leave a big gap in the snarkable SFF paperback cover world.

  24. Bruce A Munro Says:


    She did do some memorable covers (which is to say, I remember these…)

    (Warning: some NSFW-ness)

  25. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Tracy. ISFDB identifies this as a Donato Giancola.

    Sorry to hear about Rowena. She is well represented here.

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