May 17

Jonathan Hoag's unpleasant profession was painting bad Heinlein covers.Click for full image

Six Shocking Penetrations? Sounds pr0ny to me. Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Two-fer Tuesday? Sounds like another great Bibliomancer idea. So here are two covers he sent in years ago that I never got around to posting.
Published 1961, 1971

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “Two-fer Tuesday: 6 x H”

  1. SI Says:

    OHHH so it’s 6 stories by Heinlein?

    Wonder how many he wrote for the 3 x infinity book….

    I tried to do the sum but it broke my calculator…

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    It’s a two-fer so it’s 2 x 6 x H

    I don’t think making a book title look like algebra will help sales.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Dad? How did you meet Mum for the first time?’

    ‘Well, I was clipping through a plane in my thong, and she was fleeing a huge griffin thing in nothing but her lingerie…it just sort of happened.’

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag’ involved six shocking penetrations…good night, people!

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    Top: 4 x Photobomb.

    Bottom: The only penetration is apparently a finger down the throat.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    These stories, though not these covers, bring back fond memories. “And He Built a Crooked House” was my adolescent introduction to four-dimensional
    cubes. If these covers were 4-D, maybe they wouldn’t look so bad, or maybe they’d look worse.

  7. Anna T. Says:

    Cover 1: So, we have a blue guy phasing through walls, a woman in a pink swimsuit fleeing from a giant bird-dinosaur thing, and all of this being watched by a man in a trenchcoat and fedora, with an unnerving grin on his face, wielding a revolver. These elements seem to have come from at least three, maybe four, different wild book covers. Well, given that its an anthology, I guess that is some kind of excuse . . .
    @DSWBT: I don’t think blue guy is wearing a thong.

    Cover 2: This edition gives us a short man in goggles, a big green coat and a top hat with a lamp mounted on it, carrying a radio, fleeing in a cloud of yellow smoke from an unseen entity holding a giant eye in appendages resembling human arms. This anthology was originally called “The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag” – I wonder if he’s green coat guy?

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Blue dude pierces page
    Lass flees ball-and-socket truss,
    Griffin and Trotsky

    Hatted hexapod
    Holds up weeping jaundiced eye
    Radio shock jock

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    @Anna T.: The green-coated malfeasant’s The Bird, as in ‘The Bird Is Cruel’. This is obviously the Ralph Bakshi animated Hoag, ‘Fritz the Bird’. Made in 3D, hence his odd gestures.

  10. Ray P Says:

    6H is a pencil so hard it will likely tear any paper it writes upon.

  11. fred Says:

    Back cover ’71. That’s a lot of S words. I think one is missing.

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @ fred: the six words on the back can be rearranged to spell:


  13. B. Chiclitz Says:


  14. Ikari Gendo Says:

    Six strange penetrations? I’ve seen enough anime to know where this is going.

  15. Severian 67 Says:

    Hmm. In the case of the latter cover, Jonathan Hoag’s unpleasant profession is quite clear – he’s obviously a paparazzo. Having captured his desired sizzling pics of some starlet with either that rather poorly-concealed camera in his hat, or the one in his radio, he is now in the process of making his escape. He should have realised that that getup he’s wearing is hardly low-key for a day at the beach. Consequently, the starlet in question spotted him (no doubt with the invaluable help of her giant detachable eye) and is in hot pursuit. I wonder what he caught her doing?

  16. Michael Toland Says:

    What does it say about me that I love the bottom cover?

    That said, this book does seem to be cursed to have ridiculous covers. Must be that craptastic title.

  17. HappyBookworm Says:

    @DSWBT #3 – Can we have more of that story? And, while you’re at it, could you explain the new version of triangular LodeRunner in the background?

    Meanwhile I’ll have to try out this book “6 stories by X H Heinlein.”

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I always pour a can of 6XH into the engine during winter! Makes it run so much smoother on cold days.

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