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Dec 23

Will set your underbrush on fireClick for larger image

Putting the Baen to shameClick for larger image

Pre-impregnated for your convenienceClick for larger image

And not a man when the collar goes back onClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Let’s all remember the true meaning of Christmas. Santa hunks in red hats. With explosions!

Presenting the Good Show Sir Megapost Cavalcade of XXXmas Romance!

See you in 2022 with our Olde Yeare Summe Up.

1. Brokeback Mountain meets The Revenant

2. Semper adeste fidelis, boo-yah!

3. Extremely niche

4. Xmas Mary Magdalene likey

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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24 Responses to “Christmas Megapost 2021”

  1. Tat Wood Says:

    That must be why there was a Pregnant Christmas Bride in my wheelie-bin: the bad-mannered bricklayer next door’s not been home for a month. Bloody Deliveroo!

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Bear Claus

    2. “Is that a gun in your pants or are you … Oh, yeah. It’s a gun”

    3. That’ll turn his frown upside-down

    4. Seminary fanfic

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    1. “Something tells me you’re not here for the hunting”

    2. There goes another Christmas light bulb

    3. The hills are alive with sounds of sex trafficking

    4. Heh, he gave her a pearl necklace

  4. fred Says:

    1. Animal Planet

    2. BAEN

    3. Doctor Who

    4. Dick Blade. (You have to account for everything besides the collar.)

  5. Raoul Says:

    4. Mary Had a Little Lamb of God

  6. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Perhaps I’m ungrateful, but this isn’t really what I was expecting in my stocking. 🙂

    GSS, Tat Wood.

    #1: is the author trying to steal some of Chuck Tingle’s audience through cover misdirection?

    #2: “A Christmas romance… with explosions”
    That doesn’t look at all like John McClane.

    @JuanPual on #3: it’s not quite as sketchy as the Grantville Gazette, but it’s heading in that direction at a healthy clip, perhaps in a one-horse open sleigh.

    #4: “This is ‘murica, and we don’t stand for no sissy priests.”

  7. Hammy Says:

    #1 – “Dude, there’s a bear BEHIND YOU! Why are you staring at your own nipples?”

    #2 – Is it just me, or does she not look quite so enthralled at the goings-on…

    #3 – 12 mail-order brides? For one groom, or several?

    #4 – Just look at that jawline! That alone wins over all the ladies….

  8. GSS ex-noob Says:

    #2: Looks like Roland later changed or added a pen name:
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43285540

    #3: The entire series has these weirdly wordy oddly specific titles. Emma seems to be titling her books via MadLibs.
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48616211-the-twelve-mail-order-brides-of-christmas-box-set

    Even worse, I think they’re all at least slightly religious-themed, which means there’s no smut and the story screeches to a halt while people expound on Jesus.

    Give me the shirtless military guy and the explosions any day!

    #4: There seems to be a raging fire going on in the background; was this also a Romance With Explosions, or did Naughty Mary and Manly Priest get carried away?

    More gobsmacking: this came out first in hardback, and it was published in 1983, not sometime in the 60s-70s.

    At least we’re safe from the Mermaid Menace with these.

  9. Francis Boyle Says:

    The only way this post could be better would be if all the books were authored by “Ophelia Sexton”. (And featured Dick Blade. Everything’s better with Dick.)

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Christmas in July—a Novel of the Coming Climate Disaster.

    2. Codename: Mistletoe—”a Christmas Romance . . . with Flatulence!”

    3. A Pregnant Bricklayer for the Bad-Mannered Christmas Bride (following GSSxn’s obs)

    4. The Christmas Mary Had Twins—and Joseph was twice as confused!

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Francis: dare we dream of an Ophelia Sexton* and Chuck Tingle team-up?

    *Name rejected by the Broccolis as being too OTT even for a 007 babe.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and a happy new year to all.

  13. GSS Admin Says:

    “After mistletoe it will be followed up by, Operation Turkey Stuffing, Project tree light untangle and Miracle on 34th Grenade.”

    “God… why did we get stuck with Colonel Noel….”

    Merry Christmas everyone! 🙂

  14. A. R. Yngve Says:

    If the “Mail Order Bride Romance” series made your heart flutter, try our new romance line: “The Grindr Bride Romance”!

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @ARY: At least that one would have the plot interrupted by smut instead of preaching.

    @Admin: “And ending with Happy Nuke Year!”

  16. Francis Boyle Says:

    @GSS ex-noob

    [Brian Blessed voice] This must happen!

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @FB: THE PROJECT’S ALIVE!!!!

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: I’d make a joke about bringing in the new year with a bang, but that seems a common theme for all of these covers.

  19. THX 1139 Says:

    Bit late to the Christmas party, but how about:

    1: I Feel Ya, Ton of Sex! Yeah, that’ll get the sales up.

    2: Pardon my Brussels sprouts.

    3: What do you mean, it’s too specific?!

    4: Does this mean the priest’s brother is his twin? Raunch!

  20. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Happy new year, all!

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Ditto. Happy Outer Space New Year to all GSSers. Here comes the future, again!

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    As Gorillaz sang “the future keeps comin’ on”.

    Still no flying cars or vacations on the moon, but OTOH we’re not all wearing shiny jumpsuits so on balance…

    Happy New Year to GSSers, who have helped me through some rough patches, particularly in the past couple of years. Here’s to more bad covers and snark!

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn—As Lewis Carroll (who can also help one through rough patches) had it:
    “For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.”

  24. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Blessings and a happy 2022 to all. Let’s hope that 2022 sucks less than 2021 (except for SFF covers).

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