Jul 30

The leader of the revolution, Senior Turkey Face, is gone. Get the sage and onion.Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: I need this cover by 5 o’clock! Just go out and take a picture of something!
Published 1969

AHHH! Kill it! Kill it!
Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)

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35 Responses to “Final War”

  1. cutmanmike Says:

    I would definitely file that cover under OTHER FANTASIES

  2. SophaLoaf Says:

    is that maybe a voodoo doll.

    what would anyone have against a parrot?

  3. SI Says:

    Haha I love this a lot.

    @Adam Roberts (if he sees this) Don’t you just wish NMA used this for a cover?

    But wow… Che Guevara looks nothing like his pictures!

  4. James Lovegrove Says:

    Inexplicably, the new line of Bad Acid Trip Action Man figures wasn’t selling as well as Palitoy had hoped.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Is that a vulture’s head on an action figure?

    It’s supposed to be a metaphor about the dehumanizing effect of war, I suppose.

    Or… a metaphor about trying to make a book cover on a shoestring budget.

  6. Herm Says:

    Clearly a doll’s uniform, judging from the size of the buttons, which I’m sure makes it more Meaningful or something.

    And it looks like a claw, but it’s positioned like a beak… I don’t know. I’m stumped. But if I were sweet Polly Oliver Parrot, I’d dodge the draft, that’s for sure.

  7. Evad Says:

    ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies!

    ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig!

    ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!!


  8. Adam Roberts Says:

    SI: @Adam Roberts (if he sees this) Don’t you just wish NMA used this for a cover?

    God, yes! Not just the green-olive-for-an-eye beaky fowl in a uniform, but the way the first letter of the title looks like it has been chewed by some frenzied reader.

    That would be awesome on pretty much any of my novels. I feel confident James Lovegrove feels the same way about his novels.

  9. SI Says:

    haha Actually I was just finishing off NMA today. In the final few pages, even though I don’ t think you intended it, I had the above chicken man in my mind as the narrator.

    Hilarious stuff.

    Age of Odin? James I don’t think you need to make a new cover anymore. You know you want it!

  10. Nix Says:

    It’s not just the chicken. It’s the way that his open jacket clearly reveals that he’s made of *cardboard*.

    I don’t know if they were trying to make some deep and subtle point about the cheapness of life and the certainty that all soldiers will be cowards in the end, or if they were just cheap bastards. I suspect the latter.

    This is certainly the only war cover that’s ever made me laugh out loud.

  11. Jose @ Daemon's Says:

    Today’s victory is tomorrow’s defeat sounds like the motto for this year’s Detroit Lions.

  12. anon Says:

    “Polly wants a uniform for a doll! Craak!”

    Anyone else think using initials when your surname is O’Something is a bad idea?
    Well, at least his (her?) name wasn’t Bartholomew..

    And what is an “ace double”?

  13. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Re: Evad’s comment
    Have you tried applying a stun gun to Polly, in a attempt at revival…?
    (After all, some models put out 40,000 Volts, as I seem to recall)
    As for Anon’s question about “Ace Doubles”, they were a creation of Ace books in the U.S, and were 2 novels published back to back, in one large paperback…
    However, to read the books, you had to turn the book upside down to read each novel, as they were printed upside down, relative to each other.
    As a result, said “double” had 2 front covers…

  14. Hal Says:

    New posts always get a smile, but I laughed so hard at this one that my neighbours left for Toronto.

  15. GSS Admin Says:

    That’s right! Yesterdays repost gave me an idea (and by that I mean I read Bibliomancer’s comment!) It means I have to do less work!

    So this will be here until Monday… and then it will disappear into the archives forever… again!

    Let the witty comments begin! And if this is a bad idea, let it never happen again!

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Well, Tattoo, Mr. O’Donnell’s fantasy is to have his book of stories published with a claw-faced soldier doll as the cover art.’

    ‘Ooo, dat’s nice, Boss!’

  17. Mark E Says:

    After putting army uniforms on dead parrots they decided to make this the final war.
    It was just getting silly now.

  18. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Denys Fisher experienced great difficulty capturing Tom Baker’s likeness.

  19. THX 1138 Says:

    Emu’s really let himself go since Rod Hull passed away.

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    Final WTF
    And Other Fantasies

    Today’s wiki is tomorrow’s on fleek

  21. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSS Admin – I’m full of great ideas. How about a Two-fer Tuesday where you post TWO new covers! That way all the great covers you receive won’t get backed up because you are now posting 20% fewer each week. 🙂

  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    If we’re now recycling covers, why not just recycle the comments as well?
    Here, I’ll start: Inexplicably, the new line of Bad Acid Trip Action Man figures wasn’t selling as well as Palitoy had hoped.

    Now that makes for an easy work day.

  23. THX 1138 Says:

    Heck, I recycle my comments all the time, I only have about ten jokes. Today’s victory is tomorrow’s victory too, I say.

  24. Ikari Gendo Says:

    This book looks like a turkey.

  25. fred Says:

    How an unleashed Brando probably would have portrayed Col Kurtz.

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSS Admin—Dear Good Sirs,
    I write as “a friend” to warn you of an incipient power move it appears Bibliomancer is preparing to mount. Looks like a bloody coup to me, as when Irkutsk invades Kamchatka. No doubt inspired by Chinese GSS playing the Great Game.

    “A Friend”

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    The Pinky and Perky/ Dad’s Army mash-up was less fun than anyone expected.

  28. Perry Armstrong Says:

    “Kiss me Hardy.”

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @THX 1138— 😉

  30. Ray P Says:

    Bagpuss tackles O! what a lovely war!

  31. GSS noob Says:

    So the cover is the uniform off a 1960’s GI Joe doll, with some bird parts.

    It was the final war because Graham Chapman came in and said “Right, stop that, it’s TOO SILLY.”

  32. Ray P Says:

    It’s like when Einstein said he didn’t know how the Third World war would be fought but he knew the Fourth would be fought by parrots.

  33. Bruce A Munro Says:

    No, that’s world war six. World war four is fought with mutants and world war five by giant ants.

  34. A. R. Yngve Says:

    I don’t know it for a fact, but I’m just certain that Baen would never, ever publish anything with the title “FINAL War.”

  35. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @ARY: Only if they’re going out of business*, and it would be their last book off the presses. A giant anthology of all their worst writers**, blowing shit up while having no proofreading or editing whatsoever.

    *A girl can dream.
    ** That’s most of them.

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