Sep 01

Well... I certainly hope the warrior within is... better equipped for battle! Cause you look terrible!Click for full image


Matt Comments: Check out those shiny pasties!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)

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39 Responses to “The Warrior Within”

  1. Phil Says:

    She has provided her own Space Sheep/C.S. Lewis mechanism.

  2. Tat Wood Says:

    They call her ‘the female John Norman’, apparently ( but to anyone from around these parts ‘Sharon Green’ sounds a bit… Essex. The resemblance of this cover to the painting in ‘Abigail’s Party’ doesn’t help.

  3. Elvraie Says:

    Muscles and Kitschy Kinky strike a pose ! All you need on a rainy monday morning!

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    Conan the Boobarian

  6. fred Says:

    Is he giving her the barbarian version of the Spock Eyebrow?

  7. Rev Says:

    His muscles look painted on. Her boobs look glued on. He looks like Clint Norris. Or Chuck Eastwood. She looks like trouble.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    Her buff warrior friend better stick to a brisk walk or that knife is gonna slice nicely-toned leg open.

  9. eldaeriel Says:

    Um what is going on with her hands? I know its possibly the least of her problems but even so…. 😛

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    For the last time — HOW DO THOSE BRASS TIPS STAY ON??

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Saying “the female John Norman” is like saying “the male E.L. James”…

  12. THX 1138 Says:

    Less Bettie Page and more sweaty rage.

  13. Jeff Vader Says:

    I actually find the damsels hair the most fascinating feature of this painting. It looks like someone stapled a black dyed sheepskin from a interior design magazine to her skull.

  14. anon Says:

    Sharon Green does look very fetching. I don’t care if there’s a warrior within her.
    What’s the point of the old guy in a muscle suit?

  15. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Her hair makes no sense, unless that little tooth necklace is holding on a bearskin cape.

    And I am just imagining the *POP!* noise when she takes those things off in the evening.

  16. DaveM Says:

    Can someone get that poor girl a decent meal – her ribs are showing!

    Warrior guy there has some really nasty hypertrophic scarring down his chest. Either he’s had open heart surgery or was just very lucky to have survived whatever fight did that. Probably explains his expression because that scar’s going to itch like crazy most of the time.

    @Alessandra Kelley, as to her hair, I’m thinking maybe really bad hair extensions? Oh, loved the “Pop” comment, though maybe they’re held in place by double sided tape (which would cause a “scritch, string of expletives” sound when removed)?

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I have severe lordosis and I don’t qualify for disability living allowance.


  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘The infernal banging had no trouble breaking through my sleep.’


  19. anon Says:

    The man was a fiend of the nether regions, just as I’d always known.
    …and unfortunately the phrase refers to the very thing your mind leaps at,
    which is unfortunate because now we also know what the “within” in the title refers to.
    I can’t help thinking the ‘O’ should be an ‘I’ and ‘Green’ should be ‘Pink’.

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    You say you’ve seen seven wonders
    And your bird is green
    But you can’t see me
    You can’t see me

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Incidentally…where is this scene set? The periphery of a forest fire?

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The inside of a badly-glazed pot?

  23. fred Says:

    Damn. This isn’t a John Norman so I can’t use normanacles and Aurora Gorealis.

  24. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Just noticed after lo these many years the usual scabbard-sword conundrum. The big lunk has to withdraw sword from scabbard with left hand and switch hands to achieve the pictured position, while wearing a shield on his left arm! Glad the title isn’t “The Einstein Within.”

  25. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Sounds like a self help book – “Tired of life in the harem? Then unleash the Warrior Within!”

    So where is the warrior and what are they within? I’m betting they’re hiding in her hair.

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Yeah, neither Lady Teat Shield nor her buff oddly-weaponed pal are The Warrior. They’re just there to distract people while an entire horde of Warriors comes out of her completely impractical hair.

  27. Ryan Says:

    Can we talk for a minute about the Weaponed Warrior’s footwear?

    Those can be neither fashionable nor practical. The cuffs at the top are going to slap his shins bloody the first time he tries to run, while the lack of sole support will likely flatten his feet within the first two days, given his bulk.

    Good, honest leather sacks tied with string would be a better choice at this point.

    Maybe next time he goes to the leather-workers’ quarter, he will get real boots instead of a new forearm strapping.

  28. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Maybe there’s a horse or two offstage? Although if he rides everywhere I’m not sure what he does for Leg Day.

  29. Tor Mented Says:

    For some reason, it took me a long time to notice her left pinky finger. It’s missing a joint.
    Is this a plot point? Does she get laughed at because she can’t hold out her pinky much while drinking the blood of her foes from new-picked skulls?

  30. Leak Says:

    So do we ever find out who is “The Warrior Within Sharon Green”?

  31. THX 1139 Says:

    @Tor Mented: It’s so we know to ask her about the 39 Steps.

  32. THX 1139 Says:

    @Leak: I think it’s an Incredible Hulk thing.

  33. B. Chiclitz Says:

    So many little details to savor. Checking out her de-jointed pinky and I notice, “Hey, that’s some jaunty hip as well!” Jaunty hip, impossible hair, bass ackward scabbard, tiny Tings on her pasties . . . . Great choice for a Flashback weekend, Admin!

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Ryan: And unless those boots are exactly made to fit his feet (an impossibility then, and probably not now), his feet are going to slide around inside them and blister as he runs or even walks. There’s a good reason ancient people invented laces.

    He’d be better off toughening up his soles and going barefoot. Better traction and no blisters from his stupid boots.

    Maybe that’s why he’s standing back. He’s slower to get around with his sore feet. Between that and his completely unwieldy combo of sword, shield, and useless scabbard, PLUS as regards chafing, let’s not forget the leather Speedo… he really is more for decor than use. Non-moving decor at that.

    Perhaps she’s running a men’s fetish wear boutique, and he’s just a model or mannequin.

    @BC: I think she’s hoping the fabled (but never-tagged) jaunty hip will detract from the misshapen pinky. Frankly, she needs to just fold that under. Unless she’s like a Barbie and her fingers don’t bend. Which… her other joints kind of support that theory.

    Maybe she’s a mannequin too.

  35. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Is she missing her left thumb as well?

  36. Hammy Says:

    A friend posted this on social media, and I thought y’all would like it….

  37. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: I think so. Maybe she did the sword juggling before muscle boy did.

    Have we all been ignoring her manacles? Should this be tagged “bondage”?

    @Hammy: I came across that a few years ago. It is literally hours of fun. Post it again on Monday’s new cover so everyone will see it. It produces better quality than UAI.

  38. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn—You’re right about those manacles. Maybe they were the elephant in the room. Everybody saw them, but no one wanted to acknowledge them.

  39. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: There’s a limit to how much even we can deal with.

    Meanwhile, enjoy this:

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