Mar 01
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Now showing in IMAX
Alessandra Comments: The cover isn’t really awful, although it is pretty behind the curve for 1975. What got me was the hideous font lightning effect, the confusing typography (the title is actually “The Blood Stones”), and the extreme genericness of the cover — oh, and the Conan-gets-a-mullet hairdo.
Published 1975

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • cat people • dude • font problems • Gerard F. Conway • male skirts • mullet • muscles • Pinnacle Books • Tar-sham • Unknown Artist Institute • Wallace Moore
Feb 15
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Libraryman Comments: I just don’t understand what good those wings will be.
Published 1984

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Tagged with: Bantam Books • damsel • dragon • dude • Elizabeth Scarborough • lizards • monsters • tights • Unknown Artist Institute
Jan 23
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Art Direction: We all know the one thing vampires suffer from. Bighanditis! What do you mean that isn’t a thing? Of course it’s a thing, a vampire thing! Look it says right here in the book of ‘Your Pay Check’! Now, just draw some kid, in a cloak, looking like he should be in a broadway musical. And make his hands BIG!
Published 1985

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Tagged with: bighanditis • cloaks • Futura Publications • glow • moon • S. P. Somtow • Unknown Artist Institute • vampires
Jan 06
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Janet’s Art Direction: Okay, fine, you’re an “artist”… you can paint your own cover.
Published 1991

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Tagged with: Beach Holme Books • books on the covers of books • damsel • dude • Gerald Luxton • Heather Spears • moon • two-fer • WTF
Nov 17
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Jon’s Art Direction: Oh, just pick some stuff from the clipart. It’s about a time machine, so make sure you put a clock in there!
Published 1965

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Tagged with: damsel • dinosaur • dunk • Keith Laumer • Pocket Books • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Oct 25

SteveAsat Comments: You know what robots really don’t need? Polio. For more than three decades I have wondered whether anything even remotely resembling this scene appears in the novel. But it’s Saberhagan, so the mere thought of flipping through the actual text induces naptime.
Published 1981

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Tagged with: Ace Books • Fred Saberhagen • Good Show Sir • gun • robots • Unknown Artist Institute • wheelchair • WTF
Sep 30
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Muttley’s Art Direction: A Wizard, right? You know, caped, with magic sparks or something. Big Hair (TM) too.
Published 1986

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Tagged with: dude • fingerbeams • jazz hands • Jonathan Field • lightning • magic • Penguin Science Fiction • Ursula K. Le Guin • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Jan 27
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Greengerg Comments: Poor Lin Carter, surely he won the lifetime award for the biggest string of terrible paperback covers. In this classic, the sad golden gargoyle refuses to join the revelers with their horns of ale, perhaps because he cannot figure out why a guy with such bizarre body proportions got to be the hero.
Published 1976
Many thanks to Green!

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • cleavage • damsel • DAW Books • dude • Faux-nan • Green Star Saga • Lin Carter • loincloth • Michael Whelan • monsters • sword
Feb 25
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The great artists of our time had a formula for where the human eye would automatically look to when presented with a work of art. At that precise point I know exactly what we need. A huge horse’s head, in pain, as it gets speared by a crazed redhead.

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • damsel • DAW Books • dude • font problems • Gordon Crabb • horses • Jim Burns • magic • pole weapons • S.L. Farrell • spear • staff • surprised horse • The Cloudmages series
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