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Oct 28

The Golden Horn

29 Comments »

*German accent* I'm here to cast a spell of heal light wounds... *bass guitar*Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Are you sure you’re a licensed massage therapist?”

“Of course dear, now just relax and let me work. Your thighs look very… tense.”
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.68 out of 10)
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Oct 24

Under the Triple Suns

28 Comments »

Welcome to my world. I'm here to rip the females clothes in select tantalizing places!Click for full image

Boaz Comments: Two people — enraptured, motionless, poised, transfixed by a flying troll/dragonfly/scaled creature…
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.59 out of 10)
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Oct 20

Star Quest

20 Comments »

Looks like I didn't put my best jumpsuit on today for nothing!!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: Even this Captain Kirk clone wouldn’t run after that alien woman…. The crazy yellow acorn headed face must be compelling him.
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Oct 19

The Dark World

35 Comments »

Gwaddd.. stop trying to kiss me. Spello Repulse-o!Click for full image

Tim Comments:This cover had me simultaneously going, “I don’t ever want to be spotted with that book,” and, “Awesome, I need to know what’s going on here!”
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.94 out of 10)
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Oct 17

Pardon, vous n’avez pas vu ma plante?

25 Comments »

Artists and their apples... and BOOBS!Click for full MIGHT AS WELL BE PORN image

Art Direction:

Oh yeah... that's the cover I like...mmmmmmmm.

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.79 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Valentina

33 Comments »

Why... why did I program her without boobs?Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Imagine if you could reach out and touch a bald lady face on your pc screen. Draw that!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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Oct 13

Off Centre

16 Comments »

Man I have such a splitting dimensional rip right in the middle of my face.Click for full image

Tom M Comments: An enthralling depiction of what goes on inside the author’s head. You WILL be amazed by the crazy things he can think up – such as a bald man! Or a woman!
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.09 out of 10)
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Oct 10

Spider Play

26 Comments »

Damn it. Stop using zero-gravity to look down my conveniently cut catsuit!Click for full image

Tom’s Art Direction: We need a cover that is hip or groovy or whatever the kids are into now. Make sure it has big hair, shoulder pads, pink neon, the works! Oh and see if David Bowie is available.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.65 out of 10)
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Oct 04

Chanur

28 Comments »

Oh Chanur... who's your hair stylist? I love what they've done with your neck hair!Click for full image

Art Direction: Look it will just be like every cover you have ever seen but this time… they’re cat people! They’ll have everything a cat would normally have like fuzzy hair, cat mouths, pointy ears but no tails. Tails, I think would be a step too far! We don’t want people to be too embarrassed when they buy it!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Eros Ascending

46 Comments »

Look... I'm not playing chess until you.. take off those ridiculous butterfly wings for ears!Click for full SINFULLY NAKED image

Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.70 out of 10)
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