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Feb 02

You're not allowed to see our diagram! Go sit on the naughty box!Click for full image

Phil A’s Art Direction: We’d like a bunch of mismatched photo-referenced people all standing around looking bored on some kind of…planet, or something. And one of them has to be the lead singer from Mott The Hoople.
Published 1994

Many thanks to Phil A!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.84 out of 10)
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Jan 28

A number four on the upper right three, a six mixed into nine on the...Click for full image

Art Direction: Screw this! It’s a light hearted novel about a space dentist. Lets just give them exactly that. I mean, what could go wrong?
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.21 out of 10)
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Jan 26

With jeans this high and a t-shirt this tucked in, how couldn't the pack accept me?Click for full image

E’s Art Direction: I want it to look like West Side Story in space, only make most of the Jets werewolf people with absurdly large guns.
Published 1992

Many thanks to E!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.77 out of 10)
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Jan 25

Activate the sheep drive! Wool level 3!Click for full image

Richard’s Art Direction:
“The hardback didn’t sell well, so we shortened the title, make it more time-travel-y. Can you give us something that evokes “time-loop” for the cover?”

“Hmm, what about a glaiket looking bloke and a sheep?”

“Bam!”
Published 1979

Wow.. many thanks to Richard!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Jan 10

Everyone knows male tyrants love caressing their nipples!Click for full image

John Comments: “Hey, all the hot water’s gone!”
Published 1978

Many thanks to John!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.15 out of 10)
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Dec 21

He's wearing a Moonocle.. ah hahahaha!

Laura’s Art Direction: I want stars and planets! And… given the topic, there needs to be a christmas tree. No.. subtler. Just a single unadorned tree… maybe on some kind of moonscape? And we need the human element. Slap a brooding David Bowie up there. It’s missing something? Well give the title a science fiction font, and we should be good.
Published 1977

It’s almost Christmas!
Many thanks to Laura!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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Dec 17

Yep... children's programs are definitely being written on more LSD than normal.Click for full image

Artist: What ya want chief?
Art Director: Ever seen a baby staring at bright flashing colours or the TV? Well draw that type of face! Except floating disembodied through space.
Artist: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit taking amphetamines.
Published 1990

You might remember me from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Dude! I'm totally going to catch the space dragon....Click for full image

Elfi Comments: Nothing says “serious astronaut” like Steven Tyler in a bubble-helmet.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Elfi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Dec 09

And for your coarse hair we recommend disembodiment and fire!Click for full image

John Comments: There isn’t a joke I could make that would trump the description on the back – “The wife of a powerful figure in CA is found brutally murdered in the couple’s lonely mountain retreat. Wesley Stoneham made certain that all the evidence concerning the murderer of his wife pointed to a nearby hippie community. He had 3 goals in mind: to get rid of his wife, to drive out the hippie commune, and to enhance his own power in the state. He was at the point of achieving them all when Garnna, from the peaceful planet of Zartic finally made contact with Debby, a hippie from the commune, who had problems of her own. Then, Stoneham’s troubles began.” OF COURSE I BOUGHT THIS RIGHT AWAY!
Published 1975

Many thanks to John!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.48 out of 10)
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Dec 03

I never turn down a warped blue man who's missing a crotch and wearing leggings.... wait... Click for full image

Art Direction: I don’t know how you did it when you worked for others but here at New English Library, we go out and get drunk. Then take LSD. Then run around the countryside for a good weekend continually engaging in any type of physical fulfillment we can find. Whatever you’ve drawn by the end we’ll shove on some cover.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.17 out of 10)
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