Jen Comments: “Sing with me, little one! ‘I-I-I’m a lumberjack and I’m okaaaay…'”
Published 1998
Jen Comments: “Sing with me, little one! ‘I-I-I’m a lumberjack and I’m okaaaay…'”
Published 1998
Christal Comments: Unbeknownst to the author, the night before the cover art was due the artist stayed up all night smoking weed and watching The Mummy and Star Trek IV on an endless loop all night long.
Published 1985
Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Stevens! We have a problem. ‘Demon Muskrat Vixens,’ just came back from the printers with a picture of some giant cube on the cover. What happened to that crazy ass piece we originally commissioned for it?!
Update: New, improved cover photo supplied by Tom Noir!
Published 1993
Many thanks to Tom!
Click for slightly bigger image
DN’s Art Direction: No cohesion, you hear me? None! And, listen, if there aren’t two guys in a tango-off over Kevin Sorbo’s shoulder on this cover, you’re fired!
Published 1989
Many thanks to DN!
Greengerg’s Art Direction: Elephants have the natural ability to survive in the vacuum of space. No? Well, draw it that anyway, bub.
Published 1985
Many thanks to Greengerg!
Elijah Comments: What’s amazing isn’t just how ugly it is (and it is very ugly), or even the fact that it’s a book by a great author (because this happens to great authors, and Bradley definitely did go downhill eventually). No, what makes this ridiculous is that it’s by a great author AND it’s a Tor book. I mean, Tor has ugly covers sometimes, but this looks self-published…
Published 1997
Many thanks to Elijah!
Eron Comments: In this cover, we get a fantastic 70’s disco door that leads to ancient Rome and connected by the most realistic rendering of… uh… electricity? … we have a centurion, a queen, a werewolf and, wait for it, a dude in a sombrero.
Published 1996
Many thanks to Eron!
Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989
Many thanks to Ashton!
Nathan Comments: Timothy Zahn has a winner with the giant spider bouncy ball, peasant Tasha Yar, and a gopher mercenary? Oh and eye straining font!
Published 2006
Could this be a first? Man-gerbil?
Many thanks to Nathan!
Jessie Comments: I really don’t know what to say about this, but I recommend noticing not only the shag carpet flames but also the subtle nuances of how the model’s head is too small for her body, which is wearing a very modern pair of socks.
Published 1985
Many thanks to Jessie!
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