preload
Nov 03

Fire-breath vs. fish-breath. Winner gets the opal!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: What’s the point of carrying that ginormous sword if Fishfighter isn’t going to use it?
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

25 Responses to “Orc’s Opal”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    …I feel dirty…

  2. L.B. Says:

    The little guy at the base of the cover, “Stop being children! You are just going to have to share this contact lens until I make another one!”

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The owners of Metrojet have determined that there were no incidents of fish-colossus-on-dragon rape on the cover at all.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Another terrible cover. I smelt it coming.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Fish time in paperback!

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The blurb needs more prepositional phrases, ‘of’ should be used more often.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Back in the bowl – both of you! That’s the last time I buy sea-monkeys from an ad in a Superman comic’

  8. THX 1138 Says:

    “Ooooohtickletickletickletickle!”

    “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!”

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Of which one is of the Kelvin?

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Swordfish!
    (Somebody had to say it…)

    Yes! YESS!! A double Marx Brothers’ reference and awful pun COMBO!!

    [Does victory lap around room, family asks if I need medical assistance]

  11. fred Says:

    When Jeremy Wade has nightmares…

  12. Anna T. Says:

    That’s not a contact lens, that’s a bowl to catch the tears of the loser.

  13. Tom Noir Says:

    “…and to whoever wins, I’ll throw in the kid for free.”

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    DORK’S OPAL

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    Dope’s snorkel?

  16. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Fun Fact: Kelvin of Rud is a former Australian Prime Minister.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Perry: So, that’s the Great Barrier Reef taking its revenge?

  18. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Dead Stuff: wouldn’t surprise me, as way too many Australian parliamentarians are PRO COALS, only begrudgingly acknowledging the reef as a CORAL SOP. Things – might – start to get better, as we’ve at least now got a PM who believes in CARPOOLS.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Well played, Mr. Armstrong. Well played indeed. 🙂

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    Agreed. Have a Coor’s, pal.

  21. RachelJ Says:

    @A.R.Yngve. Why isn’t “Swordfish” the title? Piers Anthony’s gone with far worse puns than that.

  22. anon Says:

    “Crap Solo”, “Scar Polo” or maybe, just maybe “Oral Cops”

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    RachelJ, that is one mystery which may never be solved — like the Mary Celeste, the Easter Island statues and why Justin Bieber has fans.

  24. Tom Noir Says:

    I feel like this cover is re-used concept art from a never filmed Polish remake of Godzilla.

  25. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Tom Noir: concept art, maybe, but it wouldn’t have made the final cut as poster art. If you’ve seen enough examples of Polish movie posters, you’d know those puppies are FREAKING AWESOME!!!

Leave a Reply