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Aug 21

Has she stopped looking? I really need to stop sucking in this gut. Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a sexy space princess trying hard not to ogle a slab of beefcake. Have her cleaning out her earwax or something.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “Ascendant Sun”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “Pah, I asked for Channing Tatum, not one of the 80s Chippendales!”

  2. Perry Armstrong Says:

    I’d wager the Sun isn’t the only thing that’s ascendant.

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    So what’s the dude looking at…?
    “Hey, check out my rad pecs!”
    “Will you stop looking at yourself in the mirror for once, and give ME some attention??”

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Eric Idle on steroids vs. Milla Jovovich with a dye-job in the least intense breath-holding competition ever put on paper!

    And, ah, note to the designer: I like that the sun is actually winged, and capable of ascending under its own power. That’s the kind of attention to detail we demand from our science fiction tales today.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    John Saxon in a blonde wig with silicone implants – maybe he turned to waitressing after ‘Battle Beyond the Stars’.

    Aeryn Sun is apparently listening to her iPod while waiting for a lift back to Moya.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Space…the final front of my knob…’

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    You can stare all you want, leotard-lady, but I’ll wager golden boy is checking out the package of some other sash-wearing dude across the spaceship.

  8. fred Says:

    What do you get the girl who has everything? A Popeil Handy Dandy Towel Holder. And for the first 1,000 customers I will include a small leather mystery grab bag at no expense.

  9. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Q believes his latest form may yet convince Capt. Janeway into becoming his baby mama.

  10. anon Says:

    “I say, is that a shirt over there? I seem to have displaced mine.”

  11. SI Says:

    The attention a pair of socks can get you.

  12. Jaouad Says:

    “If I make his pecs big enough, no one will notice her legs are just two lengths of rubber hose!”

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Hm. That must be Imperator Jagernaut Tertiary Kelricson Garlin Valdoria Skolia in the company of Aristo Tarquine Iquar…Houston, we have another incomprehensible Wikipaedia article!

  14. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @SI, in a variation of your idea:

    “Suspicion grew in Carole’s mind as to the whereabouts of her missing socks…”

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    @DSWBT: Wait until you get to the peace talks on Jaibriol III between the Eubians and Skolians! Riveting stuff!!

  16. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Tom Noir – No Trade Disputes? Not worth reading then.

  17. Vyrmis Says:

    That poor chap seems to be suffering from a case of pectus carinatum.

  18. Anna T. Says:

    She’s so busy cleaning out her ear she’s failed to notice her right hip’s wandered off somewhere. “Anatomical Issues”, anyone?

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ATLAS SHRUGGED AND STARED BLANKLY OFF INTO SPACE.

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    If she keeps leering at him like that, more than the sun will soon be ascendant, as the cover rendering (unfortunately) shows all too clearly.

    Although he does seem a bit clueless.

    She: Nice pouch.

    He: Really? You think so? I got it at Pottery Barn during their yearly “Leather Sale.” It’s a recreation of a Native American spirit pouch and it has this neat hook that let’s you attach it to your sash and it holds . . . .”

    She: Not that pouch, you idiot.

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