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Aug 23

Hello. This is Brenda from Card Services!Click to embiggen that spacesuit

Trudy Comments: Finally! A spacesuit for the full-figured gal!

Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.80 out of 10)
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33 Responses to “Rules of Engagement”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    Rules of Engagement #1 – Never truthfully answer the question “Does this spacesuit make me look fat?”

  2. unwesen Says:

    What’s Sarah Palin doing in space?

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    “Did I ever tell you of the time when I got trapped in the washing machine?”

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    I don’t think she’s full-figured, I think she’s overcompensating. Insecurity and big guns are no longer a male preserve. Time to celebrate folks!

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Goodness, ma’am, you’re smushing the author’s name!

  6. L.B. Says:

    I needed to do a double-take before I saw the author’s name at the bottom. Wonder if this was intentional – not that the author had any control over how her name was presented – a cover like this, I might want to hide my connection to it as well.

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    @LB: I guarantee you that that name is done in super-shiny chrome and the camera just couldn’t pick it up right.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    Speaking of which – Tag Wizard, don’t you think it is time we had a Shiny! tag?

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That is one kick-ass Pez dispenser.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    And that is one mean stapler. Bet it can do 12 pages at once.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    Her neck must be at least a foot long. If those are her hands in those gauntlets she must also have a disproportionately tiny head.

  12. Raoul Says:

    In the future, office administrative assistants will protect themselves from sexual harassment with armored power suits and military-grade staple guns.

  13. fred Says:

    I can’t see her Adam’s Apple so I am withholding judgement on the ‘damsel’ tag.

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: brow ridge and jaw line also imply damsel.

    I don’t think they screwed her head into the neck socket properly.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Rules of Baen Covers #1: “Any anatomy issues are less important than showing off some rad, bitchin’ space armor.”

  16. Yoss Says:

    I know this is a strange nitpick, but those stenciled “8”s on her armor aren’t angled enough to fit the perspective of the planes they’re supposed to sit on. It’s a minor detail but just jarring enough that it really draws the eye.

  17. Ray P Says:

    She wants to know where the ring is.

  18. JuanPaul Says:

    The power suit must also be equipped with a continuous hair styling feature. She. Looks. Fabulous!

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The Pez dispenser/stapler triples as a hair dryer.

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Q: is there anything the Pez dispenser/stapler/dryer can’t do?

    A: shoot a projectile.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Isn’t there already a “so shiny” tag, and shouldn’t it be on 99% of BAEN!pew pew?

    This also has anatomical issues — her neck and arms can’t be that long.

    This is pretty mild for them. Sure, her suit and stapler are overcompensating, and there’s shiny, but there are no ‘splosions, spaceships, orange text. Only 1-2 fonts, and no cleavage.

    I read the book to which this is a sequel, so that is technically a damsel, though she’s very determinedly tough and non-girly at all.

    The author was a Marine, so at least her military stuff is realistic, unlike many of the armchair warrior boys who write for the house.

  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That’s O.J.’s glove she’s wearing.

  23. Iluvm Says:

    One and only rule of engagement is to have faith even in the most difficult circumstances.

  24. Tracy Says:

    Pat Benatar goes to space!

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    She’s the love child of Pat Benatar and Mariska Hargitay. In spaaaace.

  26. Anna T. Says:

    Why is the neckline of the suit asymmetrical? I mean, really, I’m surprised no one else has noticed this. It’s asymmetrical, and there’s no good reason for it at all.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Anna T: the base of the helmet is asymmetrical too. That’s so when you’re in a rush out the door, you don’t accidentally put your helmet on backwards and muss up your hair. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Anna T: maybe the whole top bit is asymmetrical. Might explain why her neck seems to be at an impossible angle; perhaps the suit construction is far different from what we’re expecting.

    Or, y’know, a bad artist.

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Ann T.โ€”the suit is asymmetrical so we don’t miss even a millimeter of that killer jawline.

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    RULES OF EMBARRASSMENT

    THE SEQUEL TO ONCE A GOATFUCKER…

  31. Tat Wood Says:

    Maybe it’s just a robot that’s mounted the severed head of Tracy Scoggins on its hood as a trophy.

  32. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I might be wrong…but is her mid-rif exposed? If so, the armor becomes pretty useless.

  33. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Space armor is always useless. (Ask legions of hapless Stormtroopers.)

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