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Dec 19

Can't move. Arms rusted.Click for larger image

Is that you, Kang and Kodos?Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Tomorrow, the Stars Special

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1. I need to get cable. I’m getting terrible TV reception with my helmet antenna.

#2. The condom costumes won first prize at the Halloween contest.

Thanks, Amy!

Published 1953, 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “Tomorrow, the Stars”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    #1 Are meteors shooting from the ears the sci-fi equivalent of steam shooting from the ears?

    #2 “Oh yeah? How’d ya like it if I pulled on one of your eyes?!”

  2. Tat Wood Says:

    1. From an alternate universe where Ian Carmichael played Dan Dare in 1960 so ‘Star Trek’ was pre-empted.

    2. Argh! It’s too horrible! Child-stars singing!

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    I can’t for the life of me figure out what is supposed to be happening on that first cover.

    I hope that spaceman remembers to lower his antenna before he goes through the car wash, though.

  4. fred Says:

    1) I know that face. That’s the ‘Why didn’t I go before I put all this crap on.’ look.

    2) Dousing little human sacrifice in garlic butter would have added a nice touch of irony to the cover.

  5. Tor Mented Says:

    1) It took me a long time to realize that Meteor Ears is supposed to be emerging from the hatch of a spaceship. At first I thought he was a legless man pulling himself along on a sled.
    I still don’t know what the gizmo near his belt buckle is supposed to do. I also wonder whether hatches on spaceships should have a manual crank on the outside.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Here is a better view of the cover art:

    http://www.silverfishpress.com/site/img/mod/prod_detail/82.jpg

    It’s from this website, apparently the cover is by “Stanley Meltzoff, Fish Painter”:

    http://www.silverfishpress.com/sm+original+art/id/30/gr_id/17/

    2. Those aren’t condoms. They look like knitted dick cozies.

  7. Tor Mented Says:

    @Bibliomancer: Stanley Meltzoff — and then we have to scrape him up.

  8. Raoul Says:

    So Tin Man has three sparklers on his helmet. Must be celebrating the 4th of July.

  9. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Note relative sizes of Heinlein’s name and “edited by” between the 2 covers. Berkley Books wasn’t maybe trying to make people think it was *by* Heinlein, was it?

  10. Anna T. Says:

    1: Scared astronaut in Tin Man spacesuit pops out of a hatch onto a frozen landscape, unaware of the two meteors behind him.

    2: Two applauding men in suits present a little girl who looks like Shirley Temple standing with two disturbing-looking green aliens with eyes on stalks and snail shells who happen to be drooling, probably at the prospect of eating humans. Sadly, we cannot tell what the audience thinks of this development.
    Oh, and all this is taking place in front of the US Capitol building.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Thrilling Tales of a Time Beyond Tomorrow

    Today, alliteration,
    Tomorrow, onomatopoiea!

    2. That’s not drool, that’s alien blood. They have giant thumbtacks (aka drawing pins) stuck into their sides. That’s why they haven’t eaten that insufferable kid.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I do enjoy Twofer Tuesdays. Seeing the same book interpreted in completely different yet equally daft ways across the years is fun.

    This is an anthology theoretically edited by Heinlein. He wrote the intro and slapped his name on it. All the stories are by other people — well-known writers we’ve seen here before. Including Vonnegut’s first short story. Ye Wiki told me this, not that you could tell by the second cover as @L_L says. *

    Thus, we don’t know if either of these covers resembles in the least any of the stories in the book, or if a publisher just said “Gimme something sci-fi.”

    Which means we may make fun of them all the more readily!

    1. So, half a spaceman gets stuck in the ice? of another planet. Doubly odd in that his outfit is much more knight in shining armor-like, with only a few random tubes and wires to make it futuristic. Or is he popping up through the hatch of a Space Submarine? I’m in agreement with @Tor; this is a very confusing cover. Maybe Stanley didn’t put his heart into it, what with no fish in space.

    2. Just horrifying. I’m fine with Kang and Kodos, but that child is terrifying. I hope the aliens are drooling in anticipation of eating her. She’s won Junior America’s Got Talent, and is making the audience scream and recoil in disgust and horror with her singing. They’ll all look happier once she’s been et.

    Ha, just went back and read @Anna T’s comment. GMTA.

    Either that or her shrieking is the only thing saving earth from being attacked by knitted dick cozies** and even though it also hurts the human audience, she’s getting the green aliens to bleed and have their eyeballs go all wiggly.

    Man, Berkeley Books really dug that big font. Everything of Heinlein’s they released in that period had his name in those giant swooshy letters.

    There’s inflation for ya. In 28 years, the price of this went from 1 quarter to 11 quarters. The font size of Heinlein’s billing went up equally if not more.

    ——

    *(I’m guessing Tag Wiz didn’t feel up to adding all the author names; perhaps beginning the festive season early?)

    ** Another sentence I’d never expected to type.

  13. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    #1 How could he get a cable hook-up? It would rather restrict his movement. I’d recommend satellite instead. (Oh, wait. He’s got no legs, so it doesn’t matter.)
    #2 My idiot high-school classmate Greg had a better condom costume. Step it up aliens!

  14. THX 1138 Says:

    What a shame nobody under 80 is called Dick anymore.

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    #1. When a dam’s in need of bustin’ it’s best to put your trust in
    A boffin with aplomb
    In a month I could learn ta bowl a googly at the Mohne
    If I had a bouncing bomb

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Tomorrow, the stars.
    Today, stupid book covers.

    @Tat (15): if he only had two legs…

    If that is a hatch he’s popped out of, are his ears ringing from the side antennae going BWOOOIIIINNNG as they hit the edges?

  17. Hammy Says:

    On cover #1, what *is* that thing in front of Brave-Legless-Astronaut? It looks like a very tiny robot with a comparatively-large Gatling gun….

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy, I thought it was just a tiny Gatling gun, but can see that you might be right.

  19. Ares B Says:

    They published the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with cover #2 in Finland.

  20. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Ares: That cover suits HHGG pretty well, I think.

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