No one puts the Science into Science Fiction like John Norman. If it weren’t for the Science of gravity this cover would be 1000% better, but John Norman cares about Science and the way it is depicted on his book covers.
I imagine the girl in red (and by extension the model they used) making some snotty comment under her breath about the lameness of this whole scenario.
Which one of these people is the The Captain? I see The Diva, The DoucheBag (on the beanbag), The Hater, The Glutton. That only leaves the woman on the floor with the really big big-toe on her left foot.
Ah, Mr. Norman! We meet again… [Cracks knuckles, stretches neck, draws deep breath]
My only objection to this cover is that it’s completely unnecessary. When I go to the bathroom, I need to reach the paper without having to rip off a piece of colorful wrapping first.
You just hate Prof Norman coz he isn’t P.C.
The covers to his books are excellent art and relate to the story. They aren’t abstract nightmares of stock art. This shouldn’t be here.
@Ben. Pray point me to the section of the Rules (you’ll find them up in that bar at the top of the page) that states submissions need to be “abstract nightmares of stock art”.
Actually I do agree that the artwork is technically rather good- it’s the subject matter, and the treatment, that amuses us. Also the title font. That’s some font, don’t you think?
@Ben: there I was thinking my problem with the nutty professor was that his books are prodigiously dull and that this cover was silly because the situation it depicts is one of profound embarrassment rather than Arabian Delight as intended.
Ben hasn’t realized that “cover accurately depicts the book” is beside the point hereabouts. “Cover is daft, ugly, scary, or risible” is why we’re here.
And there is NO excuse for that title font.
What’s the splorch on the floor where diva is dancing? Probably supposed to be some kind of animal skin, but that might slide around… blood stain or something else that makes me think “Ooh, you’re going to have to sand down and reseal that part of the floor, that stain’s not going to come out.”
Says it’s a “stunning new series”. Are the characters stunned instead of bored? Can we read a book about the lady in red instead?
Do we have a tag for “artwork being in a frame” or summat? Because that is. I think it, the title, and the top line are all decoupaged onto faux marble.
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April 16th, 2018 at 11:35 am
“Woman! You’re not fit to hug my waist! Try my ankle and maybe I’ll let you work your way up (a little bit).”
I expect that, for once, the cover is a pretty good representation of the book.
April 16th, 2018 at 12:19 pm
What you can’t see is the pile of chicken drumsticks behind the throne, each with a single bite taken out of them.
April 16th, 2018 at 2:46 pm
No one puts the Science into Science Fiction like John Norman. If it weren’t for the Science of gravity this cover would be 1000% better, but John Norman cares about Science and the way it is depicted on his book covers.
April 16th, 2018 at 2:53 pm
It’s this guy, in his younger days.
April 16th, 2018 at 2:58 pm
Before Netflix and chill.
At first glance, I thought the dancer had a dramatic, upswept dragon hairdo.
I like the catty look on the woman in red.
April 16th, 2018 at 4:47 pm
Ed Miliband wonders why he was invited on Dom DeLuise’s stag night – and where everyone else got to.
April 16th, 2018 at 5:56 pm
The blurb in the lower left corner says the guy who wrote this book also wrote the Gor series. I can’t say I’m surprised.
April 16th, 2018 at 6:58 pm
I imagine the girl in red (and by extension the model they used) making some snotty comment under her breath about the lameness of this whole scenario.
April 16th, 2018 at 9:19 pm
Which one of these people is the The Captain? I see The Diva, The DoucheBag (on the beanbag), The Hater, The Glutton. That only leaves the woman on the floor with the really big big-toe on her left foot.
April 16th, 2018 at 9:24 pm
I imaging the woman in red thinking: ‘Oh, Sherry just HAD to do the “sacred” dance of Ishtar so she could flash her butt in that outfit.’
April 16th, 2018 at 10:56 pm
Everyone looks bored, even the king.
I think the woman in red speaks for all of us.
The title font is… uh… indescribable.
The blurb down right contains way too many “of”.
@JuanPaul: I’m guessing beanbag douchebag is The Captain. Captain Douchebag.
April 17th, 2018 at 4:46 am
Artwork by Vallejo the Lesser.
April 22nd, 2018 at 9:43 pm
Ah, Mr. Norman! We meet again…
[Cracks knuckles, stretches neck, draws deep breath]
My only objection to this cover is that it’s completely unnecessary. When I go to the bathroom, I need to reach the paper without having to rip off a piece of colorful wrapping first.
April 23rd, 2018 at 9:09 am
@GSS ex-noob. She rolls her eyes for all of us, you mean?
April 29th, 2018 at 11:26 pm
Ah, c’mon…
You just hate Prof Norman coz he isn’t P.C.
The covers to his books are excellent art and relate to the story. They aren’t abstract nightmares of stock art. This shouldn’t be here.
April 30th, 2018 at 8:24 am
@Ben. Pray point me to the section of the Rules (you’ll find them up in that bar at the top of the page) that states submissions need to be “abstract nightmares of stock art”.
Actually I do agree that the artwork is technically rather good- it’s the subject matter, and the treatment, that amuses us. Also the title font. That’s some font, don’t you think?
April 30th, 2018 at 4:40 pm
@Ben: there I was thinking my problem with the nutty professor was that his books are prodigiously dull and that this cover was silly because the situation it depicts is one of profound embarrassment rather than Arabian Delight as intended.
Thanks for clearing that up.
May 1st, 2018 at 3:03 am
Ben hasn’t realized that “cover accurately depicts the book” is beside the point hereabouts. “Cover is daft, ugly, scary, or risible” is why we’re here.
And there is NO excuse for that title font.
What’s the splorch on the floor where diva is dancing? Probably supposed to be some kind of animal skin, but that might slide around… blood stain or something else that makes me think “Ooh, you’re going to have to sand down and reseal that part of the floor, that stain’s not going to come out.”
Says it’s a “stunning new series”. Are the characters stunned instead of bored? Can we read a book about the lady in red instead?
Do we have a tag for “artwork being in a frame” or summat? Because that is. I think it, the title, and the top line are all decoupaged onto faux marble.