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Apr 09

Juiced and joining the Olympics weight-lifting teamClick to juice up front covers

As featured on yourrussianbride.netClick for back cover augmentation

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Russian Dick Blade … and friends!

Good Show Sir Comments: My Google Russian translator tells me the top line says “J. Lord” and РИЧАРД БЛЕЙД is “Richard Blade” and the last line on each is “Hero” and “Winner”. I am assuming they are some sort of omnibus volumes. Feel free to translate.

Thanks to Alex for sending this in.

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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22 Responses to “From Russia With Dick”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    You’re not fooling me… this is the stealth launch of the GSS dating app, isn’t it?

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    Selections from the 2019 Russian Oligarchs and their Trophy Wives Calendar.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    There’s a Russian Dick Blade? I’m unable to express how happy this makes me for some reason.

    Russian Dick Blade
    Russian Dick Blade
    Russian Dick Blade. . .

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    In Soviet Russia, you don’t read Dick Blade, Dick Blade read you.

  5. Rose Says:

    The author’s name is “Дж. Лорд”, which is indeed “J. Lord” – though it’s more accurately “Dz. Lord”, because it’s a standard practice in Russian to transliterate foreign names phonetically rather than letter-by-letter, and English “J” is “Dz”, so…

    The titles are indeed “Richard Blade, the Hero” and “Richard Blade, the Winner/Victor”. (Guess they were going for the whole Conan thing.)

    My Russian is rusty but the story titles are along the lines of “Pearl of Karhaim”, “Slave of Sarma” and “Liberator of Jedd”; “Snows of Belglion”, “Treasures of Tarn” and “Winds of Katraz”. Based on titles alone, it sounds like a solid collection of fantasy literature indeed!

  6. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Rose – Thank you so much. It took Tweet Jane two hours to just decipher “J. Lord” and “Richard Blade Hero/Winner”. You are welcome to head up our new Good Show Sir Moscow Bureau!

  7. fred Says:

    “Dick depressed. Dick in too much clothing. Dick have no woman. Dick have nothing to kill. Give Dick vodka to drown sorrows.” – Russian Dick.

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    “Ow, why hand hurt?”

  9. Alice Says:

    Does Russian Dick Blade travel to Dimension Ж ?

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @JuanPaul—alternate translation:
    In Russia you don’t Dick Blade, Blade Dick you.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Those back covers are another argument for the “Jaunty Hip” tag, no?

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    The lass in the blue bikini looks like David Cameron. Was this Kompromat?

  13. Francis Boyle Says:

    @JuanPaul

    Time for an “improper or just dang stupid handling of bladed weapons” tag?

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    Wikipedia says that the Russians not only have their own translations of Comrade Blade, but that in fact they wrote sixteen independent volumes available only in Russian! Guess Dick Blade is a popular guy in Vladivostok.

    Since Dick Blade is a pretty transparent James Bond knockoff, and British special agents aren’t exactly known for being Pro-Russkie, this is all kind of weird when you think about it.

  15. anon Says:

    “From Russia with Dick”?
    Are we talking about the ladies depicted on those back covers?

  16. Tor Mented Says:

    Question: How are these covers like razors?
    Answer: They have two blades.
    OK, lame. That’s all I got.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Aw yeah… been a long time since we had Dick. Even longer since foreign Dick.

    @Tom Noir pointed out that these might be the even-tawdrier, unauthorized, Russian-only sequels.

    @Rose: Thanks! Looks like maybe 2 of them are the real deal by Mr. Stokes, and the rest are by the Russkie ripoff.

    I wonder if Dick mysteriously became agent of KGB-A starting in Commie book 7? As Tom pointed out, it’s weird that a British hero was so popular. Maybe they cut out the framing device, kinky Lord L, etc. But it’s doubly weird (heh) that they took “Slave of Sarma”, which has Dick vs. Evil Russian Imitation Dick.

    The second cover is pretty much what Putin wants to be. Seriously, it’s like Vlad took a glamour shot at Moskva Medieval Times — even looks like him. Macho and a secret agent? You can’t tell me that he didn’t read all of them, Russian and English editions.

    @B’mancer, @JP, @Alice,@anon: GSS!

    @B. Chic and @Francis: I agree that both these tags would be well-used. Particularly the “stupid handling of bladed weapons”; we see that at least twice a month.

    Those poor women really need a decent spine and hip surgeon.

    @Tat: that would explain why the bra part looks like it doesn’t fit/was hastily added. Dude looks like a lady.

    The Wiki footnotes led me to Glorious Revolutionary List of Blade Novels, starting with the Red Blooded ‘Merican ones and continuing onto БЛЕЙД . So we can also credit Mikhail Akhmanov and publisher АО “ВИС” / VIS JSC.

    And there are MORE covers.

    https://www.livelib.ru/author/27067-dzheffri-lord

    (looks like the Russkie equivalent of Goodreads)

  18. JuanPaul Says:

    @FB looking forward to the clever tag the Wizard invents for that.

  19. Tat Wood Says:

    @Tom Noir: British spies are terribly pro-Russian. Just look at Kim Philby and his chums.

  20. anon Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: Thank you. How do you pronounce that?

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @anon: I don’t. 🙂

    Google Translate says БЛЕЙД is pronounced as expected, BLEĬD, just like we’d say it. It doesn’t mean “blade”, though, so the single double entendre is lost.

    Mostly I was interested in the convoluted history of the series in Russia, and agog at the further covers, esp. the one where he’s holding a dead…something… at arm’s length.

    Interesting that the English-language ones have damsels on the front, and Russia relegates them to the back — sociological thoughts to be drawn there?

  22. Tracy Says:

    I am confused. Are the women on the rear cover supposed to be Dick Blade in female form, after some gender-swapping shenanigans or somesuch?

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