Sep 30

Well we had Paris yesterday… or Blackpool… or Las Vegas… anyway, it’s a loose tie-in!

Many thanks to Tat Wood who sent these in ages ago but have been sitting around due to site problems. Which, I might add, are still being looked at – I swear!


Published 1986

All.. and I mean ALL authors should have this. Click for full image

Guys... you could row! I'm doing all the work here!Click for full image

Published 1987

At least it's covering up all the right parts!Click for full image

Published 1982

Beautiful anicent useless armour. Click for full image

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.23 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “French Mega Post 3”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Le terreur invisible… the frustration of getting soap in your eyes.

    Gilles Novak… or Mel B from Bo’ Selecta?

    Milles fois… Are we there yet? We have to make land before the boat sinks.

    Piege dans l’espace… When hair extensions go bad.

    La nef d’Ishtar… What you never suspected about Warren Beatty.

  2. Elvraie Says:

    Jimmi Guieu. Pulpish writing and garrish OTT covers. Those were the days…

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    La Naff d’Ishtar: ‘Let us conquer the New World for Gold, Glory and Christina Ricci’s Big Blue Palate!’

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I like to think that the sheep on the first image is saying ‘Plon!’ in a sort of ‘Blimey!’ voice.

  5. SI Says:

    That horrible moment when you reach for a sponge with soap in your eyes… and realise you’ve grabbed Space Sheep instead.

  6. SI Says:

    ALSO … Jimmy is completely perving at himself! What a sleaze!

  7. Adam Roberts Says:

    So that’s what Jonathan Littell’s disavowed first novel looks like! Although I persist in thinking of “The Kindly Ones” as basically sf too …

  8. Rev Says:

    A hot pink pirate ship?? Permission to come aboard!!

  9. fred Says:

    la terreur invisible….The Entity – early 80’s movie about a rapey ghost supposedly based on a true story?

  10. Tom Noir Says:

    #1: The tingle tells you that the shampoo is working!

    #3: That’s a pretty blurry shot of this cover, but is it just me or is that woman rocking some rather elaborate nipple piercings?

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    #3: Before…and after!

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The tragedy of Cover #3 is that the art director cropped the jolly figurehead. Of the whole crew, only he looks happy to be out on the water! Everyone else is so sedate, like a Gustav Klimt model…

  13. Jeff Vader Says:

    The blue gnomes have one oar each yet none of them are rowing.

    Stupid lazy gnomes.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “NOOO!! I forgot conditioner! My hair is RUINED!!!”

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: Actually, you could subtitle covers 1, 2, 4 and 5 with that remark.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’m not sure how you say “naff” in French. Maybe you just display that picture of M. Guieu.

    Also, that lady in #3 wishes she had le mouton d’espace — it’d be much more comfortable on her chest than that harness.

  17. fred Says:

    #4 – When and where were the auditions for space sheep’s replacement held and is there video.

  18. Francis Boyle Says:

    #1 Not another fart.
    #2 Yet another fart.
    #3 Yes, science fiction gnomes. Also science fiction breasts. BTW, have you ever smelled a gnome fart?
    #4 Fart extraction piping.
    #5 Makes me want to fart.

    It’s Friday — I’ll be puerile if I want to.

  19. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSS ex-Noob: c;est “ringard”.

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “piège dans l’space” (which I think is better translated “Space Trap” than “Trap in Space”) is actually the poster from the last concert the future Beatles played in Paris; she’s saying “George” (in a French accent, of course).

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat Wood: merci.

    Am also thinking “plon” and “j’ai lu” ought to mean something similar. Particularly “plon”. As in:

    “Did you see the cover on that new Baen book?”
    “Yes, the font abuse and big guns were so plon!”
    “Yeah, I haven’t seen anything that plon since Dick Blade.”

    Regardez #3, I read a synopsis of it, and at no point does it indicate that the women were blue. At no point does this cover indicate the philosophical content of the novel, either.

    I miss DSWBT.

    Yes I may have been up way late submitting and re-doing my Hugo nominations. Nothing ringard. Of course, today I’ve been thinking “Ooh! why didn’t I nominate THAT?”

    I did nominate Grady Hendrix for the great pulp book.

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