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Mar 06

Enough with that born in a manger crap... Jesus comes back in style second time around!Click for full image

DPN Coments: I wasn’t sure if this was a bad cover until I discovered that it was severely edited down from this.
Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)
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Sep 21

It's a well known fact... Gryphons hate leggings!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: I think a GRYPHON is like a griffin, but hunts ladies of the night?
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.79 out of 10)
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Jun 25

Mu hahaha... with this egg... my evil omelet is complete!Click for full image

David G Comments: Eggs, skulls, stars and withered leathery hands are all pretty unreasoning I reckon.
Published 1983

Click for back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.85 out of 10)
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Apr 19

You're epically diving too soon Rico! Wait for the explosion, THEN flail your arms around!Click for full image

Elijah Comments: Nothing says, “stirring look at spirituality and the uncertainty of agnosticism” like a badly-drawn cowboy running from a volcano.
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.41 out of 10)
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Dec 13

So gold he breaks the covers boarder!Click for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: To be honest with you, I’m not convinced he’s golden enough. Make the whites of his eyes golden as well, would you please? And a few wires attached randomly to the face will convey the science fictional nature of the book.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.21 out of 10)
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Dec 06

At least that top trump ghost from the last cover isn't watching us this timeClick for full image

Tom Noir Comments: This author has a whole series of covers involving people making out above spaceships. Jokes about her “wormhole” are left as an exercise for the reader.
Published 2008

You might remember me from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.29 out of 10)
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Nov 04

Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. Im on a horse.Click for full image

Man of the Mountian’s Art Direction:So, the story is about a girl trapped in the middle of the black death in midevial England, while everyone back in her time are dying of a flu epidemic. Give us a nice upbeat cover, otherwise nobody is going to buy this!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.79 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Why... why did I program her without boobs?Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Imagine if you could reach out and touch a bald lady face on your pc screen. Draw that!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.15 out of 10)
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Sep 02

That's a number 3 upper left 4 and fangs lower 3 in the 2.Click for full image

Farquarson Comments:I don’t know what bothers me more–the artwork or the title. I hate shots from inside someone’s mouth; it reminds me of the, “Dentist” scene from Little Shop of Horrors. On the other hand, calling your book “Sucks & Blows” is an absolute GIFT to any critic worthy of the name.
Published 2011

Extra points go to the photo of a computer screen! Thanks Farquarson!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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Aug 24

Whatever happened to the shoulder pad... It used to be sci-fi's champion!Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll have some guy looking like he’s in a furtistic space disco being attacked by a giant man with a glowing forehead. Why, you ask? Well, we all know psychic powers are clearly symbolised by a lens flare. Just like every sword is reflecting a magical light from somewhere making it go… TING!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.74 out of 10)
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