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Oct 13

Off Centre

16 Comments »

Man I have such a splitting dimensional rip right in the middle of my face.Click for full image

Tom M Comments: An enthralling depiction of what goes on inside the author’s head. You WILL be amazed by the crazy things he can think up – such as a bald man! Or a woman!
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.09 out of 10)
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Sep 26

Shea

32 Comments »

With my sword I will... AHHHH GOD I'M BLIND!!!Click for full image

Art Direction: You want to know what we need art minion!?! Let me tell you. The bigest TINGGGGGGGG anyone has ever seen! Make sure even the man holding his mighty sword is blinded by its awesomeness. Oh and… make sure he’s pretty much naked. Why? Well… why not? Eh?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.36 out of 10)
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Aug 24

Web of the Witch World

27 Comments »

Whatever happened to the shoulder pad... It used to be sci-fi's champion!Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll have some guy looking like he’s in a furtistic space disco being attacked by a giant man with a glowing forehead. Why, you ask? Well, we all know psychic powers are clearly symbolised by a lens flare. Just like every sword is reflecting a magical light from somewhere making it go… TING!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.74 out of 10)
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Aug 22

The Human Sacrifice

39 Comments »

And you thought the Velociraptors from Jurassic Park were smart...Click for full image

Vincent’s Art Direction: So, put an enormous crab on the cover. And, what the hey, give him a knife. No, make it a dagger. Right, then have the sacrificial victim be a young woman lying beneath the knife….perfect, that’s it!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.62 out of 10)
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Jul 27

Quest of the Three Worlds

30 Comments »

..... 0_o .....Click for full image

Scott Comments: A novel of the epic conflict between Man-Tiger and SCUBA-Horse!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.62 out of 10)
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Jul 12

Changing Women

37 Comments »

As proven in Teen Wolf, people with fur just love to party!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: Words fail me!
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)
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Jun 17

Project Millennium

14 Comments »

THOR! The mighty god with a hatred of pink fonts!Click for full image

Art Direction: Lets break away from the common Thor look stereotype. And by break away, I mean just don’t give him a cape. Keep the male skirt, shaved legs, long blonde hair and bunny ears helmet!
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.54 out of 10)
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Jun 13

The Masks of Time

33 Comments »

What can I say... my electricity just knows what to cover!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: Man, surrounded by flowing white firmamental materials, which conglomerate/emanate at/from his manhood… Everyone standing in awe since he’s floating down steps, or, staring at his….
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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May 05

Harm’s Way

30 Comments »

Pfft look at all those sails. He's making up for something.Click for full image

Ian Comments: This is not a terrible cover – it quite accurately depicts the book’s contents. It’s the UK edition cover. The US cover follows..

I've been working out all day, take a whiff of this!Click for full image

Ian comments: This is what the US publisher used for the book. It is, incidentally, a steampunk space opera, with Victorians in space.
Both were published in 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Apr 28

By The Sword

32 Comments »

pfffft! No one goes into battle in their pajama bottoms!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: Sorry, we can’t afford live models for this one. You’ll have to make do with the, “Barbarian Barbie & Ken With Stunned Horse” play-set.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.31 out of 10)
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