Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: You know when facial hair becomes so intense it actually takes over your head? Well exactly like that, also with an evil blue guy and a king. Oh and a princess! And a guy with a sword! Ah, just put everything on there within a glorious yellow boarder!
Published 2001

(Average: 6.49 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Evil prophets go together with men wearing eyeliner like… Anyway that’s easy! Lets make any text on the cover like some sort of cryptic puzzle which will have to deciphered. What’s the book called? What’s the name the of author again? Ha! They’ll be stumped! The money will roll in!
Published Date Unknown

(Average: 8.33 out of 10)

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John Comments: Sentient killer smog in Los Angeles of course requires occult defense. Only in the 80s.
Published 1985

Many thanks to John!

(Average: 6.61 out of 10)

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Nix Comments: You may recognise some aspects of this cover. The huge glowy face on the left? That, I think, is Tung: I suspect Miles is the other glowy face. In the book, Tung’s never described as having any kind of moustache, and it would fit poorly inside a combat helmet, but hey, Eurasians all look like Ming the Merciless, right? Right?
Published 1997

You might remember me from such covers as The Vor Game.
Many thanks to Nix!

(Average: 7.08 out of 10)

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Don Comments: It’s so embarrassing when Mummy catches you playing dress-up in her things, even if you’re an alligator. Maybe PARTICULARLY if you’re an alligator.
Published 1966

(Average: 8.63 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Come on, the concept is so straight forward! Like hands growing other hands sorta like flowers, while one plays a tiny trumpet. What? No I went off my medication because it was making my eyes feel furry.
Published 1975

(Average: 8.54 out of 10)

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GK Comments: Someone is out of place…
Published 1968

Many thanks to GK!

(Average: 7.78 out of 10)

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Terry’s Art Direction: The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about a cure for cancer is – naked chicks! I want you to put in 4 naked women and have their heads blowing up and an Albino man’s corpse emerging from them. Think you can do that? I know it’s a stretch, but . . .
Published 1976

I give this one Michael Crawford!
Many thanks to Terry!

(Average: 8.86 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: That’s a really nice painting you did for the Le Guin cover, but you know what would really sell it? Incorporating this photograph of my nephew and I at the Ren Faire. Don’t be silly, my mod seventies mullet-ponytail combo looks COMPLETELY medieval.
Published 1981 (maybe)

Many thanks to Tom!

(Average: 4.21 out of 10)

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Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

• The sword dissolving into blue dust
• The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
• The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
• And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

(Average: 7.13 out of 10)

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