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Feb 16

You idiot. You fried the rest of the scout troop. Aim that thing before you turn it on.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: “Gee willikers, Joe, I see skeletons!”

“F#*% this noise, Tom!”
Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.60 out of 10)
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Feb 05

Robot Brains ... Monster Brains ... make up your damn mindClick for full image

Tom Noir Comments: It’s the hot new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation!

Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.69 out of 10)
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Feb 03

That moment when you realising in a Lovecraft universe... your cat ain't coming back!Click for full image

Mark E’s Art Direction: You remember that nightmare I told you about after reading Lovecraft at 2am while drunk? Make it so art-monkey.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.96 out of 10)
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Jan 20

Nope, Chicago.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: They were an odd super hero team, but they kept the streets of Boston safe for a few months.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.93 out of 10)
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Jan 18

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©!!!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Hey Sven!”
“Ya Lars?”
“Let’s put Darth Vader øn the cøver of this bøøk.”
“But Sven, we will get sued!”
“No we wøn’t, Lars, we’re Swedish!”
“Ha ha, yøu’re right!”
(Both together) “Børk! Børk Børk! Let’s gø have some meatballs.”
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.48 out of 10)
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Dec 18

No... I don't like this one it makes me look all hung...Click for full image

Perry Comments: Somehow, this cover gives the appearance of being both sleazy & profound, like Ingmar Bergman meets a 70s porno.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.61 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Oh sorry were you whipping me? I fell asleep...Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: “Very well Mistress Raven, I want you to whip me gently until I am hit with my next great cover inspiration. Don’t spare the buttocks. And remember my safe words: poul anderson.”
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.92 out of 10)
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Dec 10

Leather Goddess of PhobosClick for full image

Perry Armstrong Comments: This single photograph might be all that remains, speaking to future ages by saying: “Watch out you two, you’re about to be hit by a spaceship!”
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.27 out of 10)
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Dec 07

I don't even want to think about Australia’s view!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a naked man, and he’s playing with these two blue balls. No, no, I’m saying he’s handling two massive globes. Don’t make ’em the same size, one is bigger than the other. Have him straining, concentrating intensely. Look, I don’t see what’s so funny about this.
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.46 out of 10)
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Dec 03

Yes, a Circus of Hells, where all clowns go when they dieClick for full image

Scott B Comments: “Every move was checkmate” Sounds like an extremely short game to me.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.59 out of 10)
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