Good Show Sir

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Kelly Comments: Bikini-wearing sorceress…fish guy in a toga…Robin Hood type cat-woman.. in a cathedral??
Published 1984

(Average: 7.49 out of 10)

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E’s Art Direction: I want it to look like West Side Story in space, only make most of the Jets werewolf people with absurdly large guns.
Published 1992

Many thanks to E!

(Average: 6.43 out of 10)

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Richard’s Art Direction:
“The hardback didn’t sell well, so we shortened the title, make it more time-travel-y. Can you give us something that evokes “time-loop” for the cover?”

“Hmm, what about a glaiket looking bloke and a sheep?”

“Bam!”
Published 1979

Wow.. many thanks to Richard!

(Average: 8.23 out of 10)

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Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

• The sword dissolving into blue dust
• The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
• The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
• And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

(Average: 7.13 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: We don’t want this cover to just jump out at you, we want it to stab you in the eyes with a hot-pink icepick. And our dictionary defines “hermaphrodite” as “bored bloke with major addictions to mousse and Manic Panic”.
Published 1992

Many thanks to Don!

(Average: 8.47 out of 10)

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Anne’s Art Direction: It’s a book of short stories by one of the most lyrical authors in the universe? I know, we’ll put a ripped blond naked guy on the front with something or other covering his nibbits. How about a tiger head? That sends the right sort of message, don’t you think? Then we’ll surround him with some dobermans for good measure. To top it off, we definitely need three different fonts but also distract everyone with an aurora border.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Anne!

(Average: 8.21 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: It has dragons. People ride them. Put the woman in a swimsuit even though she’d freeze to death at that altitude. Make the guy look like some kind of alien elf, just to cover both the SF and fantasy genres. And it’s written by a chick, so do the main coloring in shades of lavender and rotting-orchid pink.
Published 1980 (maybe)

Many thanks to the Don!

(Average: 5.57 out of 10)

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Shelley’s Art Direction: We’re looking for a sort of lion-centaur. And a spaceship. And gore. And…could you do something with foreshortened perspective? Thanks.
Published 1977

That is… awesome.
Many thanks to Shelley!

(Average: 7.85 out of 10)

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Johannah’s Art Direction: Okay, two words: Cat People! Yes, again. But this time we’ll have five of them surrounding a naked guy with a mustache. The one in front will be pointing a gun and the one next to him will be holding a futuristic mobile communication device. And let’s throw in a few of those aliens from the Mos Eisley Cantina for good measure. What’s that sound? Are you crying? Look, those art school loans aren’t going to pay themselves off. Just get painting already.

Awesome cover, excellent rug!
Thanks to Johannah!

(Average: 6.77 out of 10)

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Jen comments: I was going to talk about his lack of spacesuit, or his overabundance of cleavage, or the protruding rock in space. Then I noticed that one of the strange ghost-images was smoking a cigar, and all words failed me.

Thanks to Jen! Good Find!

(Average: 7.96 out of 10)

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