Good Show Sir

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Mangraa’s Art Direction: OK, the main character’s a hot chick, so slap a Barbie head on a soldier’s body, that’ll work. Make this cover look like the end of a Michael Bay sci-fi clusterf***! I want not one, but TWO ships blasting away at her, the entire city burning, maybe throw in a lava spout just to be safe. I want NO EMPTY COVER SPACE!
Published 2004

(Average: 7.47 out of 10)

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MisterBOB’s Art Direction: A Conceptual breakthrough book! So y’know the yin / yang symbol, shinny dolphins….
Published 1979

(Average: 5.42 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: “Devil dude,” said the blonde-headed potbellied forest spirit,”I’m not into your steroid enhanced red muscles with sheathing belly skin around the bottom look.”
Published 1995

(Average: 7.91 out of 10)

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Kelly Comments: Bikini-wearing sorceress…fish guy in a toga…Robin Hood type cat-woman.. in a cathedral??
Published 1984

(Average: 7.49 out of 10)

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E’s Art Direction: I want it to look like West Side Story in space, only make most of the Jets werewolf people with absurdly large guns.
Published 1992

Many thanks to E!

(Average: 6.43 out of 10)

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Richard’s Art Direction:
“The hardback didn’t sell well, so we shortened the title, make it more time-travel-y. Can you give us something that evokes “time-loop” for the cover?”

“Hmm, what about a glaiket looking bloke and a sheep?”

“Bam!”
Published 1979

Wow.. many thanks to Richard!

(Average: 8.23 out of 10)

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Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

• The sword dissolving into blue dust
• The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
• The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
• And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

(Average: 7.13 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: We don’t want this cover to just jump out at you, we want it to stab you in the eyes with a hot-pink icepick. And our dictionary defines “hermaphrodite” as “bored bloke with major addictions to mousse and Manic Panic”.
Published 1992

Many thanks to Don!

(Average: 8.47 out of 10)

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Anne’s Art Direction: It’s a book of short stories by one of the most lyrical authors in the universe? I know, we’ll put a ripped blond naked guy on the front with something or other covering his nibbits. How about a tiger head? That sends the right sort of message, don’t you think? Then we’ll surround him with some dobermans for good measure. To top it off, we definitely need three different fonts but also distract everyone with an aurora border.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Anne!

(Average: 8.21 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: It has dragons. People ride them. Put the woman in a swimsuit even though she’d freeze to death at that altitude. Make the guy look like some kind of alien elf, just to cover both the SF and fantasy genres. And it’s written by a chick, so do the main coloring in shades of lavender and rotting-orchid pink.
Published 1980 (maybe)

Many thanks to the Don!

(Average: 5.57 out of 10)

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