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Mar 05

The Towers of Toron

28 Comments »

Everyone knows cyborgs are instantly attracted to the Ting! of high heels!Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Face off between the Man with the X-ray eyes and the Invisible Woman, I like what I DON’T see!
Published 1964
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.26 out of 10)
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Dec 11

Honeymoon in Hell

20 Comments »

Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga - Wooo take that 15th Century Artist!Click for full image

Scott B Comments: Sure the cross-eyed owl and cherry-shaking duo being eaten by a giant flower seems bizarre, but the back cover explains that it’s a Bosch painting (so intellectual!) and it’s a better portrayal of the author’s work than any modern artist could make (so they don’t have to pay anybody for a cover!). The back cover also DARES YOU (in type so large they can’t fit a four-letter word on there) to, I don’t know, have acid flashbacks or something. Not that you should do that! But read this book, because the author did that. Or something.
Published 1958

Back Cover Here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.28 out of 10)
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Oct 02

Five-Odd

27 Comments »

Let the great space knight leaf hat rifle future helmet hunt men in underwear tickle contest... begin!!Click for full image

Scott B’s Art Direction: I know the cover is late, so just give me whatever clip art you have lying around that looks vaguely science-fictional. Guy In Huge Metallic Helmet, brilliant. Old-Timey Person In Armor, Old-Timey Person With Gun, sure, great. Wait, underwear-clad wrestlers, really? You know I’ve warned you about that more than once. Well, I guess we don’t have time to redo it…
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Apr 04

Beasts

36 Comments »

Ya'all be leavin' my catnip alone now.Click for full image

GK Comments: Alternate ending to The Lion King.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.53 out of 10)
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Apr 03

The Oaken Throne

25 Comments »

Robins sign there... nicely censoring any squirrel jiblets.Click for full image

Patrick Comments: They might well look worried.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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Mar 22

The Golden Swan

26 Comments »

Golden Swan disapproves of men touching themselves!Click for full image

GK Comments: Which came first? The golden swan or the golden egg?
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Mar 21

Cobra

21 Comments »

Well I think... being a new kind of soldier... we deserve better hats!Click for full image

LibraryMan Comments: OK man…I’m coming out…just…don’t shoot
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.72 out of 10)
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Mar 12

Murder and Magic

15 Comments »

AHHHH!!!! WHy did I learn magic... WHY?!!?Click for full image

Scott Comments: This little piggy levitated glowing hourglasses, this little piggy immolated itself, this little piggy performed a Satanic ritual and was possessed by a demon…
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.53 out of 10)
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Feb 17

Behind the Walls of Terra

25 Comments »

The look of an average brain before their first morning coffee.Click for full image

Frank Comments: I didn’t realize that coffee, cigarettes, and cheap women were that much of a secret. Maybe it’s the intravenous delivery, or the soaking in it, or the little marshmallows.
Published 1976

You might remember this from here. And here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.98 out of 10)
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Feb 09

Dangerous Games

24 Comments »

Man... I sure can't wait to eat this baby!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: In Space Jam Jars are Rather Useful…
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.53 out of 10)
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