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Jul 01

The Schimmelhorn File – Memoirs of a Dirty Old Genius

20 Comments »

Phoooarrrr.... I luv me a good horse I do... Click for full image

David G Comments: A nice montage of fun & ridiculous stuff on this cover!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.76 out of 10)
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Jun 05

The Amber Wizard

21 Comments »

Death by lens flare!Click for full image

DPN Comments: There is someting about this cover that just isn’t working.
Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.96 out of 10)
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Jun 03

Leviathan’s Deep

21 Comments »

She was incredibly sensitive about her long-leg-itus!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Andy SSRAT Comments: A cover I spotted in a down under book shop. Just had to buy it!
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.05 out of 10)
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May 23

Honourable Mentions 13

28 Comments »

YES! It’s not only a bank holiday on Monday but the site is working! Woo! That means we can finally do another Honourable Mentions!

Thanks to all of you who constantly checked the site for over a month to see if it was working again! I missed all your comments, though oddly I actually got some work done. Anyway, I’m back to my normal pace now! Till the site breaks again…

Dude... you should get some cream for that or something!Click for full image

Scott W’s Art Direction: Ok, I need me a Ben Franklin, some lecherous 18th century dudes copping feels (or having their feels copped) by busty harlots, and oh yeah, can you possibly have Mr. Hundred Dollar Bill ride in on a cardboard lightning bolt with a pleasantly startled expression on his mug?
Published 1980

Click for full imageNext stop for Kong, the Betty Ford Clinic.

Matt Comments: It wasn’t the airplanes. It was chain smoking that killed the beast.
Published 1977

Click for full imageWatch out! You'll poke someones eye out with those things...

Click for full imageThankfully I travelled first class, so at least I'll get a bacon sandwich on my return from forbidden love!

Ian R Comments: Do you accept old pulp sci-fi magazine covers? I hope you use them, if only because of that… thing on the woman’s neck/shoulder. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Published between 1955 & 1958

BONUS SPECIAL OFFER!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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May 12

Her Majesty’s Wizard

18 Comments »

So... It's not a dog... I admit that... and I have pretty much conjured a sin against nature. But come on, how can you refuse that face!?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Now this here is a real fine used dragon, ma’am. The previous owner was a little old lady who only drove it on Sundays.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.04 out of 10)
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May 09

Fantastic

31 Comments »

And we are back! Woo hoo! Enjoy all these great covers and pieces of art from Frank!

We keep the devil downstairs... my daughter paints his nails. Click for slightly larger image

I couldn’t help but wonder what this cover art was about: the Cosmic Striptease, or The Devil Downstairs. So I looked within, where I found….
Published 1957

Nothing like a good fedora to make women spontaneously combust!Click for slightly larger image

“Beautiful women were Satan’s main weapon. They made sin look so attractive.”

Wow... the cosmos has some great legs... just legs... they are pretty great... I guess...Click for slightly larger image

“Millions of Earthlings gaped while the Martian show went on.” Apparently the Martians had a pretty good grasp of human anatomy.

Sorry! I picked up my wood from the local store this morning! Try next door! OH... a MOOD merchant... uh be right there.Click for slightly larger image

Further in, for another story titled, “Excitement For Sale!!”
“He was a mood-merchant, a happiness-huckster, peddling dreams from door to door.”

That is... FANTASTIC!Click for slightly larger image

Table of contents so you can see all the authors and cover art credit.

I guess they should have bought mood and dreams from the mood merchant.Click for slightly larger image

I may have to go back and read this one to get the context for, “women were flung heartlessly into space”.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.73 out of 10)
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Apr 02

The Best of Leigh Brackett

28 Comments »

Is that a prehistoric unicorn!?!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: You spilled your whiskey all over the cover art! No time to redo it. Just sponge it off and get it out the door. It has to be at the printer’s today.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Mar 27

The Apocalypse Codex

34 Comments »

Portraits in the future are wayyyyy more awesome!Click for slightly larger image

Rachel and Thomas Comment: Fun fact! Megalatemeskephalesigakertomesephobia is the actual Greek for the fear that a large decapitated head is silently sneering at you.
Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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Mar 21

Gust Front

24 Comments »

"Simply Amazing!" - Writer's Best MateClick for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I brought in my favourite 90’s computer game. Just grab some stills from it and we’re good to go!
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.36 out of 10)
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Mar 20

Sometime After the Equinox

24 Comments »

I thought the mystical evil... would be less... loinclothy... Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: You want the backpack full of food? More clothes? What about the bag with guns? No? Ok… back in time you go!
Published 1981

Many thanks to Erin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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