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Jan 08

Black Knight of the Iron Sphere

15 Comments »

A rope-skipping duel to the deathClick for larger image

Ump’s Art Direction: We’re through with goofy covers: this time we want something simple and classic. So we want a blond guy who’s wearing no pants to jump through the air with a sword trying to stick it in a space gorilla. Yeah – a blue space gorilla that has a giant space gorilla head growing out of its back. And we want a gal in a stripper outfit in the background and she’s turned like she’s pretending to look way because she’s embarrassed, but if you look at her eyes peeking back because she’s really into it. Like I said: simple and classic.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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Dec 18

The Battle of Forever

10 Comments »

Battle of WhateverClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Nobody gets out of 2019 alive!

You might remember this from here. And here.

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)
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Dec 16

The Sword Swallower

23 Comments »

Let's play Whack-a-Mole!Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Ronald MacDonald was very pleased with himself: having divested himself of his clown outfit, he could still eat anything and show no ill-effects.

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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Dec 12

King of the Fourth Planet

18 Comments »

Doc Brown fires up the pleasure stimulatorClick for larger image

Marvin Comments: It’s the little things, like the crown over the K, that make this cover special.

Published 1962

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.40 out of 10)
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Dec 11

The Sky is Falling

14 Comments »

Heads Up!Click for larger image

Rick Deckard Comments: That’s a lot of neck.

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Dec 09

The Red Magician

18 Comments »

It's the Hanukkah Golem!Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Tina was surprised at how much success the new choir director had in getting that deeper tone he had promised from the bass section.

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
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Nov 27

Operation: Alpha Death

27 Comments »

Carnage can only be stopped by joining in - General TsoClick for larger image

Charlie the Tuna Comments: Starring Clem Kadiddlehopper as Adam Hunter, Verne Troyer as Mini-Mime and Pat Morita as Fu Manchu!

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.93 out of 10)
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Nov 26

Death on a Warm Wind

21 Comments »

The Warm Wind blowsClick for larger image

Wendy Comments: Winds cause earthquakes! Pass it along.

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
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Nov 25

Superman III

17 Comments »

This time Richard Pryor really has his pants fullClick for larger image

Lord Cholmondeley Comments: Step aside Lois Lane. There’s a new heartthrob in Superman’s life.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.80 out of 10)
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Nov 20

Meanwhile

19 Comments »

'Servant girl, ready the penis pump!'Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: “Do you have to interrupt us now? Do your hoovering later.”

You might remember this from here

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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