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Dec 01

Melancholy Elephants

26 Comments »

Elephants have the natural ability to survive in the vacuum of space. No? Well, draw it that anyway, bub.Click for full image

Greengerg’s Art Direction: Elephants have the natural ability to survive in the vacuum of space. No? Well, draw it that anyway, bub.
Published 1985

Many thanks to Greengerg!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.98 out of 10)
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Nov 09

Young Miles

28 Comments »

Scary uncle, still ruins every photo.Click for full image

Nix Comments: You may recognise some aspects of this cover. The huge glowy face on the left? That, I think, is Tung: I suspect Miles is the other glowy face. In the book, Tung’s never described as having any kind of moustache, and it would fit poorly inside a combat helmet, but hey, Eurasians all look like Ming the Merciless, right? Right?
Published 1997

You might remember me from such covers as The Vor Game.
Many thanks to Nix!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.08 out of 10)
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Oct 29

Scary Halloween Covers

13 Comments »

“You have to have a sense of humor, darling, to be alive. Even a bit mad. It helps to be mad.”
Peter Cushing

Welcome readers to a world of fear, pain, man-tigers, wizards, mind bending horror and damsels in distress. Here we have a collection of the scariest covers sent in by our followers, or should I call them… minions! mu HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Anyway, I hope people have a good Halloween weekend and if you are dressing up or at least watching the fabulous 1958 Hammer Horror version of Dracula, I hope you all have a great time.

I see Nicholas Cage is still 'acting'.Click for full image

Libraryman’s Art Direction: Ok, now this is a scary book right? Well, what’s better than skulls? Am I right? I want a big one though, yeah I don’t care that real skulls don’t look that big, what am I an anatomist?? Oh and a crab claw. Gotta have a crab claw.
Published 1987

Not known to many - Toads, a zombies best friend!Click for full image

Neil’s Art Direction: A flooded city burns in the background, they’ll be a rotting head in the water. Nah, thats not enough, lets add something else. A toad maybe.
Published 1993

Horns? No, our race call them crotch gougers. No idea why....MU HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Graham’s Art Direction: This is a collection of horror stories by a world-famous author, so I really want you to go to town on the cover art. Try and capture the gothic-horror aspect: make the reader feel that these stories could be taking place right now in his own neighborhood. [looks at this quarter’s finances] Ah, never mind, we’ll just send them something from one of those sci-fi books that got canceled.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)
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Oct 25

Slow Train to Arcturus

30 Comments »

No, no - I said kick left and twirl right! Ok: from the top!Click for full image

Corwin Comments: In the future, designer space suits are in style, asynchronous space ballet is an Olympic sport, and we’ve all lost our pinkies.
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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Oct 20

The Earth is Near

18 Comments »

Please help... I can't stand drinking any more recycled urine!Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: What do you mean you quit! You’re fired! I’ll have someone else finish the picture!
Published 1975

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.89 out of 10)
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Oct 18

Foundation’s Edge

15 Comments »

LOOK it's a giant space brain! And he's got balls!Click for full image

Terry’s Art Direction: You see, nothing says ‘saving the universe from a 30,000 year descent into barbarism’ like a floating dead brain and two eyeballs. Oh, and be sure to lace it with lightning, and oh yeah it is a space story so put stars and stuff behind it.
Published 1983 (maybe)

Still not exactly sure who the publisher is.
Many thanks To Terry!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Starkissed

34 Comments »

Sex? I actually reproduce via spores... ah well...Click for slightly bigger image

Hayley Comments: This is what the back-cover says, “Warning: Graphic sex between a human woman and an alien male who is anatomically different from human men!”
Published 2008

Many thanks to Hayley!
Submitted through our wonderful Facebook group!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)
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Oct 05

Before They Were Giants

21 Comments »

Woooaaa, I'm going to need a bigger gun, some flowers and a truck of chocolates.Click for full image

Michelle’s Art Direction: Ok, so I want a spaceman fighting a giant… a giant vagina!
Published 2010

Many thanks to Michelle!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.05 out of 10)
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Sep 24

Captain Flandry: Defender of the Terran Empire

28 Comments »

Awesome boobs... give me thirty minutes to take off this stealth Mark VI power armour and then we can....Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll have the male sitting on an Ikea chair like he’s James Bond with laser guns and space ships. We’ll put him in some sort of spandex suit with knee pads and fob that off as armour. With the girl lets go for nudity but we’ll photoshop in some clothes later. What we really want is, plenty of side boob! Therefore appealing to both genders… right?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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Sep 23

The Cat Who Walks Through Walls

22 Comments »

It's dangerous out there. Take this laser gun, cat and walking cane.Click for full image

Eric Comments: The ironic thing about this one is that the cover depicts an actual portion of the story. Accurately. Really. It is a good book, regardless of how it’s clad.
Published 1986

Many thanks to Eric!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.00 out of 10)
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