Good Show Sir

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Nix comments: This has an annoyingly shiny cover, so it may be hard to read its contents. It’s an anthology of four famous SF works: _2001_, _The Demolished Man_, _The Day of the Triffids_, and _I, Robot_. As you know, all of these contained city-sized giant mecha and huge explosions (although only two had the giant mecha dive-bombed by rocketships), so the cover is quite appropriate, and obviously is a fine piece of artwork: tasteful, yet subtle. I’m only sending it in because it’s so annoyingly shiny.

Many thanks to Nix!

(Average: 4.93 out of 10)

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I love the realism, so we’ll definitely have to get that on there. In fact I think we should tone it down a little. We’ll keep it simple so it’s not too bad (and almost like it’s creeping up on its prey) then WHAM! We’ll hit them with a gold black red title banner!

(Average: 6.69 out of 10)

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Look, I am busy – what the hell do you want? Cover ideas? My god, man. You’re new here, right? Here’s the sheet, it has everything we need. Huge terrible multicoloured fonts, obligatory best selling author line and something like a women in a space suit looking generally awful. Don’t worry kid, you’ll pick it up soon enough. Then you’ll be one with us. Don’t run… don’t run…

(Average: 5.13 out of 10)

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Look, with this we’re in a win-win situation. How could we go wrong with a space ship going through some sort of light speed travel and the captain pointing at a huge shiny hologram of a person? Just as long as we keep the fonts subtle we’ll be fine.

(Average: 7.17 out of 10)

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You know what’s on the way back in terms of being considered manly? Pink! That’s right. So we’ll have a lot of it. And on top of that epic dose of man we’ll add more layers of manliness. A crewcut, a crossbow and most importantly a stomach wound. That’s one large slice of man-cake for your eyes.

(Average: 4.67 out of 10)

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You know what a book cover can never have enough of? That’s right chum, text. Lets fire as much on there as possible. And possibly some worm creature being attacked by guys with guns. But that’s secondary, no in fact it’s tertiary, to the fonts with their various marvelous colours and shapes.

(Average: 7.00 out of 10)

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HOLY father of APOLLO! I have it, again! Cat people! Oh alright, we won’t have it just as bad as last time but we should have at least three of them. And some guy with a beard, and an alien city, and purple fonts that burn into your mind.

(Average: 7.54 out of 10)

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Really… winning? Green? With a gold photoshop glow? Really? Well best add an exploding space ship in there too. Oh and some babe in a space suit completely ignoring the explosion. Hopefully that will distract from our winning colour.

(Average: 6.37 out of 10)

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Guy sits uncomfortably on the tail of a space shuttle. Don’t forget huge shiny text. And we’ll have to quote another one of her books, something that will really appeal to those hardcore Sci-Fi readers. Oh oh! I know. Dragons of Pern. Ace!

(Average: 6.97 out of 10)

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World gets destroyed by large alien disco balls firing lasers. Lasers that create nuclear explosions. Then we’ll have some women in a tight shirt, unbuttoned just enough to tease our readers. And like every other cover out there, she’ll be completely ignoring the fact that there is a mammoth nuclear explosion going off in the background. Women, eh?

(Average: 7.90 out of 10)

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