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Mar 16

Reading that blurb hurts my headClick for full image

Raoul Comments: Do something about those crabs!

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.06 out of 10)
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21 Responses to “The Clones”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    When    it      becomes   time to    publish, or to be      published, the       KERNING  will   either    balance  the    cover;   or ruin   it    beyond                      redemption.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Anatomy quiz: where does the femoral artery pass the acetabulum? Let’s learn how we can find out!

  3. fred Says:

    I think the CLONES need a less complicated cell phone plan.

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    When it comes time to write a blurb, or have a blurb written about the book, the publisher will either sell the book; or write something so long and convoluted that it makes no sense and takes up half the cover.

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    Is there such a thing as a “Pretentious, moi?” tag for the author’s name? Just a suggestion.

  6. A. Rys Toddel Says:

    What’s wrong with that name?!?

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Mr. Blurb Writer, could you please be a little more vague? I’m dangerously close to understanding half of what you write.

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “P.T. Olemy”, A.K.A. Bart Fargo, also used the pseudonyms “A.R. Istoteles”, “P.L. Aton”… and “W. Anker”.

  9. Anna T. Says:

    The only connection between the blurb and the rest of the cover is the aforementioned crab, if it’s supposed to represent Cancer (the constellation, not the disease).

    I don’t know what’s up with the naked couple.

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    I just trying to wrap my head around how one can “inhabit” a “constellation.”

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Back in 1986, when I ran across this book for the first time, my friends and I used to get stoned, and read passages from THE CLONES out loud, it was so bad.

  12. fred Says:

    The back cover. Everything is now perfectly clear.
    https://img0.etsystatic.com/126/0/8770658/il_570xN.856197810_1ikw.jpg

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: now in 2017, when I’m running across this book for the first time, my friends and I can get stoned, and read passages from THE CLONES back cover out loud, it is so bad.

  14. Francis Boyle Says:

    Your cloning process probably needs work when your clones can be identified by the fact they have only one nipple.

  15. Raoul Says:

    Let’s see here. You have a crab, a fish, a set of scales and mention of constellations. Cancer? Pisces? Libra? Is there some hidden astrology symbolism going on here? Who cares?

  16. fred Says:

    I have great suspicions this is the book that gave Michael Crichton the idea of writing speculative fiction based on cutting edge science. This book, 1968. The Andromeda Strain, 1969. The evidence seems irrefutable.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Send in the clones!

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Do we have a “blurb problem” tag? Or something similar? If you tried to diagram that blurb, you’d end up with a Gordian knot. And don’t we have a “starkers” tag?

    The back cover blurb is nearly as bad. Are the invaders from another constellation (yeah right) or another dimension? And, since they’re nekkid, is it the Dimension X that Dick Blade is always going to?

    Both blurbs appear to have been written by someone for whom English isn’t a first language. Or a second one.

    Also, the writer needs to be smacked repeatedly for using that pseudonym. If he’s dead, dig him up and smack his bones. Ditto the editor who allowed it.

    I see a crab, a scorpion, and a set of scales — wanna bet there were 12 invaders or 12 groups of them? And who’s the clone — lady, dude, both, neither?

    This hurts my head more than most books on GSS.

    Bah.

  19. JuanPaul Says:

    @gssxn it can’t be the Dick Blade dimension because the man is vulnerable and the woman is confidently standing up right.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JuanPaul: fair point.

  21. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS ex-noob. We *need* a “blurb problem” tag. Said so before.

    I feel like this particulat blurb probably continues, “Well, that’s my theory, anyway. Anyone around here actually read this thing?”

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