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Apr 16

Darn... you really do know how to make an AWESOME sandwich!Click for full image

Remember when you used to dress up in black clothes, paint red eyes on your hoodie, stand with a knife and pretend to sacrifice your little brother to an evil spirit just to gain some physical power that will, in the end, only destroy you? No? Well you haven’t lived man! Now, let’s put that on there.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.70 out of 10)
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26 Responses to “Poe Must Die”

  1. SI Says:

    Shouldn’t have used the camera flash. That ninja has got the red eye.

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    Title: Poe Must Die!. Subtitle, in smaller font: What Do You Mean, He’s Dead Already?

  3. CSA Says:

    I think the tag would be improved with a “muhahahaha”.

    i.e. “A descent into the black soul of a diabolic age, muhahahaha”
    because the cover makes it look like it has the theatrics of a bad opera or play or even a larping event. Thats right, i just compared theatre to live-action roleplaying.

  4. Ron Obvious Says:

    Doesn’t look scary. Saberhagen in front of a Minotaur, that’s scary.

  5. e.lee Says:

    “A descent into the black soul of a diabolic age”

    Justin Bieber fans are easily jilted when their idol doesn’t respond to their tweets

  6. Bruce Says:

    “Poe must Die. And we need to start putting some money in the budget for illustrators, otherwise we’ll be reduced to photographing the temp in a halloween costume again.”

  7. SI Says:

    Actually I knew the eyes reminded me of something.

    I was watching the movie Big the other day. And look:

    http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww126/indiefan23/zoltar.jpg

    It’s the same eyes! Scary. haha

  8. tyrone Says:

    I’ll write a book and let some 4th graders do the cover. Then I’ll collect my Nobel.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Bah, if only I’d seen this cover in time for Halloween!

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    A descent into the black soul of a diabolic age
    THE FUNKY DEVILS OF MOTOWN

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    A DESCENT INTO THE PALE ARMS OF A DIABOLICAL EMO.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    I thought it was Tinky WInky the televangelists had decided was evil

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I don’t know, with all the cheap theatrics you’d think the knife would have more of a badass look. This just looks like it was swiped from mom’s kitchen.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The sequel, SHAKESPEARE MUST BE SHANKED, flopped.

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: it’s such a shame about BLOCH’S BUMPED OFF, nobody was there to watch the twist ending!

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And I was so looking forward to the next book, BROWN BE BEHEADED, but Dan Brown’s lawyers stopped that release with a cease-and-desist…

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    See, if they’d done this before the start of ‘The Last Jedi’ the Resistance would still have a fleet. But no, macho wisecracking dickhead causes hundreds of deaths and yet the fanboys think Rose Tico was the problem.

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The PG-13 movie version, POE MUST BE REPEATEDLY PUNCHED IN THE GROIN (co-starring Pauly Shore) still has its fans.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: Bra-VO. (standing ovation)

  20. fred Says:

    Rip Torn laughs derisively at that sorry excuse of an executioner.

    https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001800/mediaviewer/rm802835968

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC (way back at #13): My thought was that Lee Moyer would never bother to re-create this one. It already looks like a random assemblage available at any suburban con hotel. No challenge to be had.

  22. Tor Mented Says:

    The knife-wielder’s nickname could be “The Conqueror Worm.”

    Or maybe “The Imp of the Perverse.”

  23. Francis Boyle Says:

    “Darren, if you’ve taken the Wiltshire Staysharp* again bring it back right away, I’ve got the Sunday roast to carve. And no, just because we named your little brother Damien doesn’t mean he’s the antichrist.”

    *Australian reference: substitute your favourite brand of kitchen knives.

  24. THX 1139 Says:

    Any truth to the story this was renamed The Poe Must Diet for religious reasons?

  25. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tor M—I think that knife is about to descend into the maelstrom.

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Francis: Poe Must Ginsu!

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